Second Door to the Right
by V.M. Bell
Summary: COMPLETE It’s after Cedric’s death, and the beginning of Cho’s sixth year. She is devastated and tells herself she’ll never love again. Then again, she never considered the great, the famous Harry Potter, did she? UPDATED
1. The Third Task Twisted

Chapter One: The Third Task Twisted  
  
Cedric.  
The name resonated in her mind as she sat on the Hogwarts Express.  
Cedric.  
How she missed the kind look of his gray eyes, his endless generosity, the way his hands ran threw her thick, dark hair when they were alone, kissing, his mouth over her own, how it always seemed to surprise her, albeit pleasantly.  
Cedric.  
And he was gone.  
Cho Chang took a deep breath, trying to calm herself, trying to hold back the tears that had always been lurking beneath the surface since that day. The day of the third task of the Triwizard Tournament.  
She had been sitting in the stands with her many friends, cheering on both Hogwarts champions, the rather kind but odd Harry Potter and her own darling Cedric. Before entering the towering maze, Cedric had looked up at her, smiled and waved. How was she to know that would his last gesture to her, the last she would ever see of his loving face, his beaming smile? How was she to know that, hours later, when the Quidditch stadium was in an uproar Harry would appear out of nowhere, clutching the Triwizard Cup and Cedric's body?  
Cedric's immobile body.  
She had no memory of that day from there on.  
Celeste, her best friend since their first year, told her later that she had passed out and was taken to the hospital wing. After awakening, it was then the fact that Cedric had died truly rushed over her, a merciless wave of cold, grief, and angst. She had snippets of being in the hospital wing, tears dripping onto those immaculate white bed sheets, her chest seizing as she tried to breathe amidst the weeping.  
Cedric, she thought, not bothering to stop the tears from flowing over the dam her eyes had constructed over the summer, why did you have to leave me? Everything was so perfect until you -  
Cho didn't have the strength to finish her thought as a new wave of tears poured out, staining her newly bought robes. She slid to the floor, sobbing, her fists pounding on the soft seat of the train, venting the pent- up anguish that had filled her for the past summer. As her parents always thought crying was a sign of weakness, Cho had forced herself to save the tears until the night, when she was alone. Even then she could not scream out in sorrow.  
"Cedric, come back," she sniffed amidst her tears. "Please, come back. You haven't any idea how much I miss you."  
"Oh, Cho, not again," a voice said from the compartment door, slightly on the exasperated side.  
Cho looked up and saw Celeste leaning in the doorframe.  
The crying suddenly left as if someone had used a Vanishing Spell. Anger filled her. Standing up with her hands balled into fists, she faced her best friend.  
"Celeste, of all people, I would think you would at least understand!" Cho yelled. "I told you everything, didn't I?"  
At those words, the expression of Celeste's face softened a bit, and she walked over to Cho and motioned for her to sit down.  
"Yeah, you did tell me everything. I didn't mean to hurt you or anything, but he's -" she paused, picking out her words carefully, " - he's not here anymore, and crying isn't going to bring him back, no matter how much you try. I mean, you can honor his memory and everything, but hell, there's still life."  
She looked apprehensively at Cho, hoping her words wouldn't bring on another outburst of tears. As if it were a book, Celeste's mind flipped to the day when she received an abnormally long letter from Cho. The letter had shocked her very much, and Celeste had felt the need to reread the letter again and again. She still could recall part of it. I know you don't want to talk to me because the only thing I'll talk about is Cedric, but could you just read this? Normally, I wouldn't be this weepy. Even if a boyfriend of mine had died, true, I'd be horrified, but not like the way I am now. You see, Cedric made me feel like I belonged somewhere. At Hogwarts, my face often hurts after smiling unwillingly. You've known me for a long time, and you know I'm not really that vivacious. I act like I have the perfect, loving family, but I'm completely estranged from my parents. They've never given me a home. You see, I was expected to be a boy, but I wasn't, and my parents are still disappointed. Whenever they look at me, it's with a wistful and pitying expression. I can't stand it! "Get over it!" I want to yell. And that's why I act so sociable at Hogwarts, because I'm trying to compensate for lost attention at home. Then Cedric came. He made me feel like I was worth something, and when he died, that warm feeling died with him. I don't just miss him alone. That would be selfish because he made such an impact on other people's lives, I'm sure. I miss the belonging. Sighing, Celeste raised an eyebrow, and Cho made a noise that sounded like laugh caught within a sob.  
"Guess you right then," Cho shrugged, "but I'll never feel - what's a good word? - complete without knowing something."  
"What?"  
"Well, I still don't know what really happened to Cedric. All I know is what Dumbledore told us last year, that Cedric was murdered by You-Know- Who."  
"Do you really believe him?" Celeste asked in an unsure voice.  
"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do," came the harsh reply. "The Ministry is a pile of sodding rubbish. I cancelled my subscription for The Daily Prophet. Harry's not deranged or a liar, and Cedric did not just 'die of his own accord,' as the paper put it."  
"So, anyway, you just want to know 'what really happened' to him?" Celeste said, hastening to change the subject. Any subject is more enjoyable than Cedric, she thought, especially when Cho's in mourning.  
"Of course!"  
"Well, Cho, there's only one person on this train who really knows what happened.I suggest you see him."  
* * *  
Harry was sitting on the floor of his compartment, playing Exploding Snap with his best friends, Ron and Hermione. Despite the events of the past school year - Cedric's death, the rebirth of Lord Voldemort, and the Ministry of Magic's stubborn refusal to admit he had returned, to name a few - he had never been better. This is the greatest, he though contently. I just wanna get back to school and away from the Dursleys.  
Harry cringed every time he thought about his past summer. Ever since Voldemort came back, he had been examining every newspaper - including the Muggle publications (Harry was beyond sure they would be targeted by the Death Eaters, along with wizards) - for any news on the Dark Lord. But, living with the Dursleys, he had no Muggle money with which to buy even a newspaper. That left him with three options. He could a) steal money to buy newspapers, b) steal newspapers out of stands, people's bags, trash cans, etc., or c) be left in oblivion. Harry decided it would be safest to nick papers out of the neighborhood dump. Sadly, on his very first attempt, he was caught by the police, and Uncle Vernon had to reiterate to them, "Sorry, my nephew. He goes to St. Brutus's so he really hasn't much of an idea as to what he's doing." Harry spent the rest of the summer in his room.  
"Harry, it's your turn," Ron said through a mouth full of Fizzing Whizbees, knocking him out of his thoughts.  
Just as he was about to go, there was a knock on the compartment door.  
"Best to get your wand out," Hermione muttered. "It might be Malfoy again. I'm sure you two don't want to be jinxed before you can even get to school."  
Malfoy and his lackeys had already paid a little visit to their compartment. He had, if possible, grown even more condescending, perhaps due to the return of Voldemort.  
"So, Potty, what brave act are you going to do this year?" he had said in his signature lazy drawl. "Going to save all the Mudbloods? Or are you going to be the first to fancy that beaver over there?" Malfoy gestured towards Hermione, whose face was red enough to make the sunset jealous.  
"Look, you leave her alone, Malfoy, you piece of shit," Harry retorted. Though many people infuriated him - Snape, who taught Potions, for example - nothing made his blood boil more than hearing Hermione insulted for being Muggle-born. And no one insulted her more than spoiled, pampered Draco Malfoy.  
He plunged his hand into his pocket, digging furiously for his wand. In the meantime, he was thinking of the best curse to use on Malfoy. However, before Harry could even consider using the Jelly-Legs Jinx, Ron was already on the floor, wrestling with Malfoy. Crabbe and Goyle were moving towards him, preparing to create the first official Weasley pancake. Harry quickly caught Hermione's eye, and mouthed, "Levitation." She nodded, clearly understanding what he was going to do.  
"Wingardium leviosa!"  
Crabbe and Goyle floated into the air like balloons, obviously extremely confused. ("You'd think they'd know a Levitation Charm by now!" Hermione whispered.) Harry and Hermione flicked their wands to the left, and Malfoy's henchmen sailed through the hall, landing in a crumpled heap of robes, arms, and legs.  
"Uh, where are we?" Goyle mumbled stupidly, trying to move Crabbe off his leg.  
Seeing they had successfully averted a collision between the two largest (in length, width, and mass) students in their year and Ron, Harry dragged his friend away from Malfoy, but not before Ron could give Malfoy one last kick.  
"Yeah, I hope you liked that!" Ron yelled sarcastically. "Now get your slimy ass out of the corridor so no one has to look at it!"  
Harry watched as Malfoy scrambled away.  
Thinking about that incident brought a slight smile to Harry's face, but he hoped he didn't have to do that again. Ron had a black eye and was currently massaging a bruise on his shin ("Little git," he muttered.). He didn't look like he wanted another fight. Hermione, on the other hand, was absorbed in her early birthday present, How to Successfully Prepare for the O.W.L., and Harry knew from experience she would be more than crabby if disturbed while reading. As for Harry himself? He knew he wouldn't be able to take on Malfoy and his gang single-handedly. Hermione lay the book down as the three stood up and Harry opened the door. Immediately looking up for Crabbe and Goyle, who always towered about everyone else, you can imagine his surprise when he heard a voice that sent his heart to his throat.  
"Hi, Harry."  
Cho Chang was standing in front of him.  
"Er, hi, Cho. How was your summer?" he stammered. Why do I have to look like such a fool in front of her, he thought angrily.  
"Oh, I've seen better," she replied, smiling demurely. "But I was wondering: Could I talk to you for a moment?"  
"Uh, why not?" Harry replied, moving aside to let her in.  
"Alone?" Cho added hastily, eyeing Ron and Hermione. ("What's she up to?" Ron whispered, while Hermione merely shrugged.)  
"Um, yeah, okay. I'm coming."  
Harry led her out of the compartment and into the corridor. As he turned to face her with his stomach doing cartwheels, she said so quietly Harry had to lean in to hear (Would there be a chance her lips would just happen to brush past his face?), "Could we go somewhere, you know, more private?"  
Without waiting for a response, she walked down the corridor to her own compartment. Celeste was no longer there, as Cho had already told her to keep an eye out, just in case anyone was going to intrude. By the time Cho had discreetly locked the door, Harry was already seated, and she sat down across from him. Determined not to let tears get in the way, she tried to be as frank as she possibly could.  
"Harry, tell me how Cedric died."  
Taken aback, Harry simply stared at her. People were always asking him about the circumstances surrounding Cedric's death, but never in such a straightforward fashion as Cho just did. He had never seen her eyes so hard nor her stare as glaring.  
"Well, um, you know," he stuttered, "what Dumbledore said. Voldemort killed him."  
Though she seemed stunned that Harry had said You-Know-Who's name, Cho remained relatively unperturbed. After a moment's pause, Harry said, "You do believe him, don't you?"  
"Of course, but there just has to be more than that."  
Cho bit her bottom lip, thinking of the huge revelation that lay ahead of her, almost within grasp. Her dear Cedric.dead.the tears started forming.blurring her vision.  
"Oh, Harry, can't even you just tell me? I have a right to know how my boyfriend died! No one's ever going to tell me how he really died because no one knows how! Except for you, and here you are, and you refuse to tell me! What, do you think I'm going to faint because the information is just too shocking for me, poor me, to soak in?" she moaned, the crying starting and losing all composure.  
"No, it's just -"  
Cho suddenly stood up. So suddenly Harry felt like he was physically knocked over.  
"JUST WHAT? HUH? JUST THAT I'M TOO YOUNG TO UNDERSTAND DEATH? IS THAT IT? YOU THINK I CAN'T HANDLE SUCH SENSITIVE ISSUES?"  
"No! It's not that!"  
"THEN WHY? IS IT TOO HARD JUST TO TELL ME SOMETHING?"  
Cho was absolutely livid by now, but the tears were still splashing down her face.  
"Okay, okay, I'll tell you. Just, sit down, calm down."  
Sniffling, she slowly returned to her seat. Attempting to pacify, she straightened back, but this action simply brought on more weeping. Cho covered her face with her hands, mumbling nebulously. Harry tried to understand what she was saying, but he caught only one word: Cedric.  
Why does she have to always talk about Cedric, he though irritably. It's always "Oh, Cedric"-this and "Oh, Cedric"-that and why can't she just forget about him? Not like he was terribly bright or anything. He looked down at her tearful face, her expression imploring him. This disturbed Harry above all. She looks so sweet I just can't refuse to tell her. Plus, she's right. She does have a right to know. After all, he was her boyfriend, and I wasn't. Harry sighed and began.  
"So, uh, would you like me to tell you?" Harry began cautiously, taking care not to offend her again.  
"Yes, please," came the muffled reply.  
"Well, you know the Triwizard Cup? It was really a Portkey, and it took us - me and Cedric - to this graveyard, where Voldemort was waiting."  
He took a deep breath and thought about those terrible events. Cho obviously wanted Cedric to be portrayed as some sort of a hero, dying while fighting against Voldemort. He never got the chance, Harry thought contemptuously. He just died. Like that. But one more look at Cho's face told him that just wasn't the right thing to say.  
"Well, Voldemort's servant, he needed to get blood from me for his master's rebirth. Cedric tried to save me. He tackled Wormtail - that's his servant - and tried to keep him away from me - " Harry tried to ignore Cho's face, now uncovered, which was beaming with admiration " - but then Voldemort killed him."  
I cannot believe I just did that, Harry thought mournfully. I lied about something I shouldn't ever have lied about. If she ever finds out the truth, I might as well feed myself to Aragog.  
"Is that what really happened, Harry?" Cho asked with no trace of the screaming person she was just a couple minutes ago.  
"Yeah."  
"Then why didn't anyone tell me this sooner?"  
Before Harry could even open his mouth, Cho had jumped up, given him a hug (he was most shocked - and pleased - at this), and whispered, "Thank you!" before running to the door. As she was about to open it, Harry reached out for her arm.  
"Wait a sec."  
Cho looked up to him. "Yes?"  
"Can you promise not to tell anyone what I've just told you?"  
"Well, why not? If he had died like that, a hero, then why bother covering the truth?"  
Harry ransacked through his memory for a moment. If that really was the truth, he thought carefully, no one would cover it. C'mon, why can't I think of a lie now?  
"Well, uh, because Dumbledore doesn't want people worrying too much about Voldemort."  
Damn. Why did I have to bring Dumbledore into this?  
"Oh," Cho replied, crestfallen but not angry, to Harry's relief. "Alright then."  
She unlocked the door, and as Celeste walked in, Harry slipped away before Cho could say any more.  
"Hey, how did it go?"  
Cho thought for a moment. She was overjoyed at finally knowing the truth, but Harry had acted a bit strange. No matter, she thought. I'm sure he acts like that all the time.  
"It was absolutely wonderful, Celeste. I'm not in the dark anymore, and I finally know what happened!"  
"That's great!" Celeste was very happy for Cho, indeed. "Could you tell me?"  
"Well, Harry told me not to tell anyone," she said hesitantly. "I guess this sort of thing you just keep to yourself.  
"Oh, okay then," Celeste shrugged, trying and failing not to look disappointed. "It's just I sort of wanted to know."  
"Very understandable," Cho replied, smiling.  
* * *  
Halfway down the corridor, he slowed his run down to a walk and rested against the wall. Banging his head, he muttered, "Why the bloody hell did I just do that?"  
But he couldn't suppress a grin when he thought of Cho's body pressed into his. 


	2. Hail Caesar!

Chapter Two: Hail Caesar!  
  
"Cho, c'mon! Everyone's leaving!"  
"Oh, right. You go on ahead, Celeste. I'll catch up."  
"Whatever. What's gotten into you? You haven't been the same since you talked to Harry."  
Celeste stood in front her friend with her arms crossed, and huffed impatiently.  
"Well, see you up at the castle then."  
True, Cho should have left by now, but she was still dwelling on Harry's words. Cedric was such a hero, she thought, smiling. I wouldn't have had him die anywhere else. Then again, why did he have to die.? She shook her head fervently. No, I can't think of that. I mustn't dwell on the past, especially after what Harry said. It must have taken a lot of willpower to think of that night again, and even more just to say it aloud. I know I would never be able to do that.  
Sighing, Cho walked off the Hogwarts Express and into the throng of students, who were all chatting noisily. She caught up with Celeste, who seemed relieved that Cho had arrived.  
"You wanna watch out," Celeste whispered urgently. "He's here." "Oh, no.this is absolute worst way to start school. Great." Suddenly, two hands landed on Cho's waist. For a fleeting second, she thought it was Cedric, but this pleasant fantasy was soon shattered. "Hail Caesar!"  
"Sod off, Othello!"  
Cho furiously pushed off Othello Caesar's hands and spun around. She loathed Caesar more than anyone in the school, even Snape. From an objective standpoint, she could see that he was rather good-looking. With light brown hair spiked in the front and blue eyes, no wonder girls were always queuing up to go out with him. However, he ignored them all, except when an attractive blonde wandered by, and instead focused on tormenting Cho.  
"I never want to see you again! And don't you dare lay your hands on me again!"  
"Ooh, look at that, everyone. It's Cho with the comeback. C'mon, darling, didn't you miss me?"  
After slapping Caesar's hands (they were inching towards her waist again), she snapped back, "I missed Filch more than you!"  
"Well, darling, d'you know what I missed?"  
"What?" Cho retorted exasperatedly.  
"Astronomy. I missed seeing Uranus. Ha ha!"  
Caesar's friends chortled and pointed at Cho, whispering what she thought were very nasty comments, most likely about her.  
"C'mon, Cho," Celeste quietly insisted, tugging at her friend's robes. "Let's go."  
Taking advantage of the still heartily laughing Caesar, the two of them dashed further into the crowd, not stopping until they had put quite a distance between themselves and Caesar.  
"You'd think that he'd blow himself up with his wand over the summer," panted Cho, "and we'd never see him again."  
"Dammit, he's so perverted," Celeste remarked, shaking her head. "The Ministry should pass an educational decree for that: No pervs are allowed to attend Hogwarts."  
"I couldn't agree more. We have to catch up; just about everyone's already at the Great Hall, and I wouldn't say no to a treacle tart or two."  
With that, the two friends sped away, tripping over many students' robes along the way, heading to the towering towers and turrets of the aged Hogwarts.  
  
* * * "Can't they hurry up with the damn Sorting? I'm hungry!"  
Ron banged the table with his fists in frustration, and was quickly reprimanded for his behavior by Hermione.  
"RON! How many times do I have to tell you that the Sorting is one of the most important events at Hogwarts? It'll always be important than the feast. And also, don't make such a loud fuss. The teachers will hear you."  
"Damn the teachers; I want food," he muttered violently, so softly that only Harry could hear him.  
Privately, he agreed with Ron. The teachers and the little first years were of little importance compared to the mounds of food that would soon be piled on the table. To Harry, this would be his first complete meal since the leaving feast of last year, and no one, he thought, needed the food more than he. He dared not voice this aloud, however, for Hermione seemed to be in a bad mood already. Harry saw that Hermione was murmuring something, so he carefully leaned to hear some of her mumblings. She seemed infuriated, indeed.  
"What were they thinking.How could I not be a prefect.Paravati.what did she ever do.hmph.I would assume.of course.I'm the obvious choice.I was expecting it all summer and then I don't get the badge.well then."  
Good Lord, Harry thought, she's still fuming about not being a prefect. Over the summer, just the day after receiving his letter from Hogwarts, a tear-splotched note came from Hermione. Her normally impeccable letters were slanted in odd and random directions. The note was short. I was not made prefect. See you at school. Harry knew that she had been expecting to receive a prefect badge since her first year, ever since she saw Percy toting his badge. He understood clearly how disappointed Hermione must be. After all, she had the highest expectations of their year, possibly the entire school; however, he just couldn't grasp why she could not simply forget about it. No complaining would ever help Hermione attain the status of a prefect. On the contrary, it would probably only serve to distance herself further from it.  
Thankfully, at that moment, Dumbledore began to speak. Hermione, who was always attentive in every situation, immediately ended her self- rambling and looked up at the headmaster, so old yet so full of life and youth.  
"Welcome to Hogwarts, be this your first year or your last year. Before the feast begins - ("Yeah! Food!" Ron whispered enthusiastically, gawking at Dumbledore with a hungry look.) - I have a couple announcements to make. The Forbidden Forest is off limits to all students, as it has been for every single year." Dumbledore paused and looked around the Great Hall, and to Harry, it seemed he was looking at the older students. "Now, a new activity will be taking place this year, but it is only for students in their fifth year or higher. Two balls will be held this year, one around the Christmas holidays and the other around Easter, though the exact dates have yet to be determined. If any students in their fourth year or lower are caught at either of the balls, they will be punished."  
Harry's heart jumped as he immediately thought of the disastrous Yule Ball held last year. He had asked Cho, but Cedric had beaten him there. But since Cedric wasn't here anymore, maybe he'd have a chance.He shook his head. The mere thought of Cho and her loveliness made him a tad dizzy.and the mere thought of himself and Cho together, a sure distraction indeed.  
* * * "I wish they had started the balls last year. We missed out on a whole year of flirting! There was this Hufflepuff boy - he's graduated last year - I really wanted to ask me out, and if he was still here." Celeste said impatiently, her eyes alight with fervor.  
Cho glared at her friend. Is that all she ever thinks about, she thought, catching the attention of some pretty shallow guys. Well, Cedric isn't shallow, no, not at all.  
Thinking of Cedric brought back one of the sweetest memories she possessed. The Yule Ball, when he had asked her out. She remembered opening the ball with her darling.his arms around her.the walk outside by the rose bushes.Cedric had tenderly picked one.placed it in her hair.kissed her.held her close.  
Snap out of it, Cho, she told herself. No point it getting nostalgic now. You know what you set out to learn, and that should be enough.  
She scanned the Great Hall, looking at familiar faces. She saw her "friends" from last year: Lara, Adrienne, and Solara. Cho had been alienated from them as soon as they had heard that she was going with Cedric to the ball, and even by Hogwarts standards, the news traveled fast ("Cedric shouldn't have asked me in one of the most crowded corridors in the school," she told Celeste later). Apparently, they had fancied him as well, and an argument had ensued as to who Cedric liked most, culminating in Cho shouting (across the dorm), "Well, get the bloody hell out of here if you're so jealous!"  
Not like they cared much for me, anyway, she thought indifferently. Celeste is my only true friend. And Cedric was too, but you know.  
Her gaze fell on Harry, who was talking to Ron, gesticulating as he went. Cho felt the corners of her mouth go up slightly, forming a vague smile. Feeling a bit sympathetic, she thought about when he had asked her to the ball. The poor dear seemed so nervous, she thought. I just wanted to reach out and tell him it would be okay.  
Cho remembered she was just as curious about the famous Harry Potter the day he had arrived at Hogwarts, the whispers in the corridors about him and his scar. She recalled telling anyone who would listen that she would never want to be famous. She also remembered when her parents had compared her to Harry after her second year, when he had saved the Sorcerer's Stone. "Oh, Cho, if only you could be half as brave as he was," they had told her. She expected to feel resentment towards Harry for the remainder of her life just for this comment, but soon realized he had no fault in it.  
She sighed, suddenly aware of the fact her worst memories were, more often than not, connected with the great Harry Potter.not that it really mattered.  
His black hair was as untidy as ever, his green eyes so unbelievably luminous.  
Cho caught her breath, and found she was staring at Harry.  
For an instant, Cedric's disapproving face crossed her mind, but the image soon evaporated. She was falling into his eyes, traveling through its endless, green labyrinth, twisting and turning. She was following the movement of his lips as he spoke, a sudden urge seized her to walk up to the Gryffindor table and place those lips over her own. His hair, once a nuisance, a flaw, now so endearing, his eyes, how they had taken up a brighter green, outshining the stars, the diamonds, outshining virtually everything.  
Except Cho's lust for him.  
I think I'm in love, she thought breathlessly.  
I think I'm in love with Harry Potter.  
* * * The next morning, Professor McGonagall bustled about the Gryffindors at breakfast, handing out schedules. Hermione nearly snatched her own out of the Professor's hand.  
"Look at this, Ron," she pointed out. "Our morning's not too bad. We've got Transfiguration, Care of Magical Creatures, Herbology, and Charms. No double lessons."  
"Or Potions," Harry was quick to add, grateful he didn't have to be the target of Snape's wrath on the first day back.  
Ron had to agree the morning was very well planned, indeed, compared to past years. At least it's better than last year, he thought, Double Divination and Double Potions all right after breakfast! That was hell, I swear.  
"Well, we better get started on our breakfast," Hermione remarked, "or we'll never finish on time. Pass the butter, please."  
But no sooner had Harry even reached it an unknown boy from Hufflepuff sauntered over to where Hermione was sitting.  
"Hey, Hermione, I don't remember much from last year's Potion classes. Could I meet you during lunch in the library? You know, to review."  
"'Course. I'll see you then," she replied, flashing a smile that Harry had only seen her use once in the past: when Lockhart was here.  
"What was that all about?" Ron inquired, and Harry could tell by the tone of his voice he hadn't a clue what was going on as well.  
"It's O.W.L. year, so a lot of people are asking me for help, to prepare for their own O.W.L.s," she replied haughtily.  
Behind her back, Ron raised a suspicious eyebrow.  
* * * "Cho! Your hair is in your food!"  
"Ah!" she screamed, trying her best to wipe the porridge off.  
"Here, let me help," Celeste said, reaching for her wand. "Scourgify!"  
Pink bubbles appeared in Cho's hair, sticking onto anything that didn't rightfully belong there, namely grains of rice. With a quick Vanishing Spell, they were gone, along with the porridge.  
"Thanks. I don't know what's gotten into me," Cho said.  
Actually, she knew exactly what was wrong with her. She had been busy looking at Harry over at the next table, watching how his eyes caught the gleam of the light streaming in from the Great Hall. He has such a good taste in friends too, she thought. She liked Ron very much, who she considered very loyal to Harry and possessed a most quirky personality. But Hermione Granger.a slight crease appeared between Cho's eyebrows. I respect her for being so intelligent, but is all this prancing about the school, acting as if you've memorized your textbooks, really necessary? She's absolutely arrogant, and sometimes, I just can't stand her.  
"You're schedule, Miss Chang," squeaked Professor Flitwick, head of the Ravenclaw House.  
"Thank you, Professor," she said, taking the sheet of parchment.  
"Not bad. We've got Charms, Transfiguration, Herbology, and then Care of Magical Creatures. Afternoon: Double Potions (Ugh!), Double History of Magic, and Arithmancy. Why Potions on our first day back?"  
"No idea, Cho. Let's get going; Charms starts in five minutes."  
The bell rang just as the two grabbed two seats in the middle of the room.  
"Now class, take out your book and wand."  
Cho heard no more as she sank into the state that had possessed her since the feast. Harry was the only thing on her mind. If he ever asked her out, she would instantly agree, no matter the circumstances. Yet there was something pulling her away from Harry, something - or someone - telling her she shouldn't be fancying him. That was impossible, though! She hadn't told anyone of Harry yet. There was something.but what was it? She owed no obligations to anyone.except.  
Cedric.  
What would happen, Cho thought, if Cedric was still alive, but I liked him no longer and instead fancied Harry? Would I break up with Cedric and go out with Harry? Or would I somehow convince myself Harry was only a minor infatuation? Or would I not know what to do at all?  
Cedric.  
His face appeared in her mind again, imploring her, "Don't forget me!" She tried to shoo it away, but it was to no avail as his face just seemed to grow clearer, more distinct, his voice rising. "Don't forget me, Cho! Don't forget me! How could you just forget about us and go off chasing another guy?"  
He was right. She couldn't merely forget about Cedric because he was such an important part of her past. It would disgraceful to simply give him up. There's still a bond between us, she thought desperately, and I can't break it, no matter how hard I try. We never laid our relationship to rest, so it's still there, an unbreakable thread between the living and the dead.  
Then Harry came to mind, those bedazzling green eyes, the rumpled hair, his expression just as imploring as Cedric's. "I know you want to honor his memory, and I'm fine with that, but don't live in the past. He's not coming back." This feels like déjà vu. When did I hear those words before? Celeste floated into her mind, and what she said on the train, as well. . I mean, you can honor his memory and everything, but hell, there's still life.  
Was Celeste right?  
Cho again considered her feelings towards Harry and Cedric. I like Harry, no, I love Harry, and I want to be his girlfriend. Yes, without a shred of doubt, that is what I want. I need another boyfriend to take my mind of Cedric. And Cedric? Celeste's right. There's still life, and simply living doesn't mean I'm not honoring him. Plus, Cedric died trying to save Harry.  
It all clicked into place.  
Cedric died to save Harry, she thought frantically, so by going out with Harry, I'm really honoring his memory all the more! This is finally making sense! I would be going out with the person Cedric died to save.  
"Yes!"  
Cho turned crimson as thirty pairs of eyes turned to look at her, perplexed; Celeste raised an eyebrow.  
"Miss Chang, do you have anything to tell the class?" Professor Flitwick asked.  
"No, Professor. Sorry," she mumbled to the floor.  
"So, as I was saying before our little interruption, this charm is particularly useful."  
You are such a moron, Cho. Next time, keep your thoughts inside your head.  
* * * "McGonagall must have come up with new ways to torture us," Ron complained after a particularly difficult lesson.  
"Well, like I told you, you should look over the lesson before class - "  
"Shut up, Hermione!"  
"I'm just trying to help, you dunderhead!"  
"WILL YOU PLEASE BE QUIET?"  
Harry found their arguing more irritating than usual, maybe due to Hermione's I'm-the-resident-genius attitude during breakfast.  
"Hermione!"  
Turning around, she screamed, "WHAT RON?" only to realize it was only Neville. "Oh, Neville, I am so sorry. I just thought it was that rat over there." She shot a nasty glace at Ron. Turning back to Neville (with that annoying smile, Harry observed dryly), she asked, "So, what d'you need?"  
"Well, I don't really remember Switching Spells, and McGonagall said they'd be on the O.W.L. for sure. Could you help me with 'em?" he said timidly.  
"Why not? How 'bout at the common room after dinner?"  
"Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks, Hermione!"  
She leaned over to give Neville a hug, which left Ron looking at her as if she had become a spider.  
"What the hell was that for, Hermione? What's up with you, suddenly? Smiling and hugging everyone." Ron said in a hoarse voice.  
"Like I said, I'm just helping people. It is the O.W.L. year, in case you haven't caught on. I'm just trying to be nice," she replied indifferently.  
"You're not just being nice. You're, well, you're flirting!"  
She looked appalled at the very word. "I am NOT flirting!"  
"Yes, you are! If you weren't flirting, then I'm the one who got an 'Outstanding' on my Divination O.W.L.!"  
"Ron, that's ridiculous!"  
"Hello, Harry."  
A soft voice interrupted the row between Ron and Hermione. Harry looked around. It was Cho; his stomach tumbled. It was the first time Harry had really looked at her, soaked in everything about her appearance. Cho's dark hair fell upon her shoulders, trailing down her back, a sheet of silk, reflecting the light, soft to the touch. Her eyes glimmered, rivaling the stars, pools of affection. Her skin, so fragile, like porcelain, her fingers, so slender and lissome.  
"Er, hi, Cho. You have Transfiguration next?"  
"Yes. I hope I haven't forgotten everything yet."  
"Probably remember more than I do."  
Cho laughed, and Harry managed a meek giggle that sounded more like a frog croaking. I've really got to refine my social skills, he thought. Maybe Hermione caN HELP.  
"So, uh, have fun. Or as much fun as you can have in class," he said, trying to smile and act a little more confident in front of his longtime crush.  
"Okay. See you, then!"  
"Bye, Cho!" Harry said, furiously blushing.  
"What was that about, mate?" Ron asked on their way to Hagrid's hut.  
"Oh, isn't it obvious?" Hermione proclaimed, acting intolerably superior.  
Her announcement was met with a confused silence. She looked at each of them, and then smiled smugly as if she knew something the boys did not. Which is probably true, Harry thought.  
"She fancies you, Harry. Couldn't you see it in her eyes?"  
As he approached the hut, Harry never thought he'd seen the sun so bright.  
* * * Brilliant, Cho thought victoriously, those people who devise the schedules. It means I'll see Harry at least once every Monday!  
She looked back down at the goblet she was supposed to be Transfiguring into a broom. She had managed to get it into the shape of a broom, but it still retained its golden tint. Wish Hermione was here, she thought grudgingly. Or maybe not. Sure, she'd probably transfigure the rest of it for me, but would also take the time to graciously point out all my mistakes. She could envision it now: Cho, your mistake is such a common one. You didn't put enough emphasis on this part of the incantation, no wonder your broom is still gold. Hermione could probably take her N.E.W.T.s tomorrow and do better than the entire seventh year.  
"What's up?" Celeste said brightly. Seeing the look on Cho's face, however, her expression dampened. "What's wrong?"  
Cho told her about what she thought of Hermione.  
"Gotta agree with you there. She's too smart for her own good. Oh yeah, and there's something I have to ask you."  
Cho's heart skipped a beat. She noticed I fancy Harry! Oh, I didn't want her to find out this early! I wanted to at least wait a while before telling Celeste.  
"Can you help me with this damn goblet? Transfiguration is way beyond me."  
After sighing with relief, she replied, "Okay."  
The two friends had decided, during the infamous Career Consultation last year, to be Healers. At that time, Cho had average grades, and Celeste? Well, she didn't want to be reminded of them. After they had both read the pamphlet about Healing, Cho immediately knew it would be the perfect career for them both to pursue. That is.  
"Blimey! Cho, look at this. They want an E or higher at the N.E.W.T level in Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, Herbology, and Potions. Huh, that's a bit much for someone who's averaging a T in all her classes right now, isn't it?"  
"But you do like the sound of the job, don't you?"  
"Well, of course."  
"Then we'll just have to pick up our grades, won't we?"  
For the remainder of the year, Cho and Celeste worked beyond diligently in an attempt to bring their grades up. Cho had a shrewd feeling Hermione had never worked so hard. When her O.W.L. results came, Cho knew the late-night study sessions with Celeste were worth it. She had gotten an O in Charms, Herbology, and (surprise) Potions; and an E in Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration. She also earned an A in Astronomy (Cho didn't particularly care for the moons of Saturn), Care of Magical Creatures, and Arithmancy. Something she didn't like to mention was her abysmal grade on her Divination exam, then again, it didn't matter since she dropped the subject anyway. Cho had also stopped taking Astronomy. Celeste hadn't done as well in Herbology ("It was that damn Venomous Tentacula!"), but well enough to move on to the N.E.W.T level.  
This is the best, Celeste had written to her. We'll be in the same classes with the same career ahead of us.  
* * * "Ron, why are you looking at Hermione again? I swear, this is the tenth time this class you've looked over there. Trying to catch her flirting again?"  
"Yeah," Ron said vaguely, still gazing at Hermione.  
"Mate, something's wrong with you."  
"Is there?" he remarked, again, very vaguely.  
"Hey, did you know that Malfoy got me a birthday present?"  
"Mm."  
"Did you know Professor Snape isn't giving homework for the rest of the year?"  
"I see."  
Harry burst out laughing, clutching his stomach. Many eyes turned his way, most of them rolling.  
"Ron, know what you just did?" Harry wheezed, still trying to stop more laughing from coming. "You just admitted that Malfoy got me something for my birthday and that Professor Snape would stop giving us homework! Ha! Ron, mate, you've got problems!"  
"I do not!" he snapped, his eyes finally gaining focus, though they were still fixed on Hermione, who was now chatting with (!) the Slytherins.  
"Yes, you do! Hey, Seamus, didn't you hear Ron say those things?"  
"Yup, sure as Snape's gonna take off points from Gryffindor."  
Ron turned red.  
"Ron, why do you keep looking at Hermione? Clearly, you're distracted by her!" Harry remarked, imitating Hermione's omniscient tone.  
His face took on an even redder hue.  
"Come over here, then I'll tell."  
Ron took him to a less crowded area. Looking around anxiously for people, he faced Harry, looking slightly embarrassed.  
"I like her."  
"What, as a friend?"  
"No, Harry, you numbskull! I like her."  
From the emphasis put on the word like, Harry had a pretty good guess as to what was going on. Ron, however, still thought his friend hadn't any idea of what he said.  
"Don't you get it yet, Harry? Look, let me put it in simple English. My feelings towards Hermione are the same as your feelings towards Cho."  
Harry's innards heaved at the mention of Cho but managed to keep it from manifesting on his face; however, he couldn't hide his surprise. Ron fancy Hermione? No, it wasn't possible. We've been such good friends, he thought, how could this happen? He was about to ask, "Ron, you jest?" but noticed his friend was absolutely serious. Instead, he said, "So, you want to go out with her, but she's off 'flirting' with everyone, so you can't?"  
Ron nodded, whose face had just taken on a nasty green tint. Harry followed Ron's eyes, and he understood what was making him look so nauseous.  
Hermione was working with Malfoy.  
Malfoy.  
Harry just couldn't connect "Hermione" and "Malfoy" together. Hermione had always detested Malfoy, and Malfoy had always loathed Hermione. So why were they working side-by-side? This wasn't making any sense to him!  
"Ron," he began, but Harry realized that Ron was already marching off in the direction of Hermione.  
Harry jogged to catch up, his head spinning. First Cho, now Ron and Hermione, and somehow that bastard Malfoy got mixed up in all this. And we're only in our second class. Wha.?  
"HERMIONE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"  
All the students whipped around, their robes making a swishing sound. Harry slowly backed away, wanting to melt back into the crowd. Whispers flared up all around him.  
" - What's this? They're arguing - "  
" - Hermione working with Malfoy - "  
" - impossible - "  
Hermione looked at Ron. He was fuming, she was unruffled. In a perfect imitation of Malfoy's lazy drawl, she said, "Ron, calm yourself. I'm only helping someone. Would you like some help as well?"  
Ron's eyes narrowed as the Slytherins starting guffawing. "Yeah, I'd like some help. There's just this little something I want to know. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH HIM?" He pointed an accusatory finger at Malfoy, smirking more than ever. Hermione pulled out her wand and yelled, "Ron! Don't make me hex you! Who I wish to help is none of your business!" "Then I'll hex you - " "Allow me to explain," Malfoy interrupted in that annoyingly smooth manner. "You see, Weasel, Miss Granger has finally come to her senses. She decided to help those who actually deserve it." "What's goin' on here?" Hagrid asked. "Oh, nothing, Professor," Malfoy said innocently. "Then get back to work!" Harry led/dragged Ron back to their tub of fire snails. He didn't try to engage in conversation; Ron wasn't in much of a good mood. Every now and then, Ron muttered something, but Harry didn't even bother trying to hear those occasional mumblings. Needless to say, he was most relieved when the bell rang, signaling the end of Care of Magical Creatures. He sat between Ron and Hermione in the courtyard during a silent break between classes. Ron was determinedly looking at the grass and Hermione was slightly flushed, her eyes darting everywhere, as though looking for someone (Harry had a suspicion as to who is was). Absolutely sick of the stony silence between the two, he began walking towards the greenhouses. No harm in being early, he thought, fuming at his two friends. In fact, he was so enraged he knocked someone over. "Ow!" Harry looked down at the person he nearly trampled. The color immediately rose to his cheeks. "Oh, I'm sorry, Cho. I didn't see you there," he muttered, hoping his scarlet face wasn't too noticeable. "Well, I guess that's what happens when you're a whole head shorter than everyone. No problem, Harry," she replied, smiling. Wow, she thought, he's even more gorgeous up close, and he's so kind too.  
"Here, let me help you," Harry said, reaching out a hand, attempting to ignore his chest, which felt like it was about to explode.  
As their hands touched, a tingling feeling shot through his body. Her skin was so soft; her hand seemed to fit right into his. Her eyes were dark, like Snape's. While Snape's were empty basins of hatred, Cho's eyes held only warmth, two candles in a bleak world. He looked down at her lips, so lusciously pink, and wanted more than anything to seize her in his arms, whisper words of love, true love, kiss her, to kiss her forever.  
Harry looked up at Cho and found that she, too, was looking at him. For a moment, they just looked at each other, one standing, the other on the ground, not an awkward moment, but a pleasant peace, time suspended, the two merging into one.  
Then she stood up, the moment over.  
"So, Harry, what class do you have now?"  
"Uh, Herbology, you?"  
"I just had that! I'm going to Care of Magical Creatures." Leaning in, Cho whispered to him, "I'd watch out for Professor Sprout. Apparently some fourth years got bubotuber pus all over the greenhouse floor, and she's not to pleased."  
"Okay." Harry took a deep breath. Should I ask her? Come on, Harry, it shouldn't be this hard. Just ask. "Hey, uh, Cho, you wanna walk to class together? You know, the greenhouses and Hagrid's cabin are pretty close, and, uh, I thought you might want some company since we're early."  
He winced, reading for her to issue a stinging remark. To his surprise and relief, Cho replied an eager, "Why not?" In fact, she seemed more excited about it than Harry did.Harry held out his arm for Cho to take, and they walked through the grounds, together.  
* * * Goodness, we're walking arm-in-arm, Cho thought elatedly, and it's only the first day! But I've got to take this slowly. Hmm, maybe I should ask Celeste for some flirting tips after dinner. No, I shouldn't. Her way of attracting a guy is much different than mine.  
"So, uh, it's a nice day, don't you think?" she said, trying to stimulate conversation.  
"Yeah, great Quidditch weather. Wish it started this week. Then I'd have something to distract me from lessons."  
Cho laughed, a bright and bubbly laugh that made Harry's heart fly. She looked at him with a devilish smile.  
"You'd better watch out, Gryffindor! Ravenclaw's going to be so much better this year."  
And so the two were occupied with talk of Quidditch. Until.  
"Hail Caesar! Why, lookie here, who's this you're flirting with?"  
"Othello, get you disgusting hands off me! And I'm not flirting!"  
Cho rolled her eyes and turned to Harry. Before she even a word issued from her mouth, Harry got the clear impression she most definitely did not like this person.  
"Harry, this is Othello Caesar," she spat, as if each word was something that needed to be disposed of immediately. "He's in my year and my house, unfortunately - " she threw a nasty look at Caesar, " - and though it is my ardent wish for him to be the first victim of You-Know-How, it appears that won't happen."  
"C'mon, darling, you know you'd miss me if I died. I'll include you in my will if you'll go out with me."  
"I wouldn't go out with you if you promised me a million Galleons!"  
"Well, are you going out with this guy over here?" He pointed to Harry.  
Cho was taken aback by what he'd said. She was expecting it all along to pop up at some time, but now that she was asked, she discovered her voice had disappeared.  
"No, she's not," Harry suddenly answered, who seemed to sense that Cho couldn't speak.  
At this new voice, Caesar looked intently at him.  
"Why, you're Harry Potter," he casually remarked, flicking at something on his sleeve.  
"Yeah, I am, now could you please move? We've got to get to class."  
"Eh, not yet. No one leaves the presence of the Great Caesar. Cho, your standard for dating has sure gone up - "  
"I told you were not dating," she interrupted through gritted teeth.  
Waving his hand as if to brush away her comment, he continued. "I mean, first Cedric, the guy half the girls in this school are salivating over. Now it's the celebrity of the school, Harry Potter. Who's next, Fudge? Dumbledore? Me?"  
"I'M NOT GOING OUT WITH HIM!"  
"Yeah, of course. You haven't been going out with him, you've been making out with him and - "  
"EXPELLIARMUS!" Harry bellowed as Caesar sailed into the air and landed ten feet away on his posterior. Apparently, he had landed on a friend, who screamed (in a muffled voice), "Get your fat ass off me, Caesar!"  
"Hope you have lots of fun with her, Potter! She's great in bed, you know." Caesar snarled.  
"Cho, let's go," he muttered, placing an arm around her waist, setting off at a fast walk.  
His arm is around me, she thought, hardly daring to believe it. Does he fancy me? Oh, how perfect that would be! Earlier than she would have liked, they had arrived at Hagrid's cabin.  
* * * Harry, he told himself, this is it. Make your move now, or you'll regret it for the rest of your goddamn life.  
Harry checked his watch. They were still a couple minutes early. That's all the time I'll need, he thought. He led Cho behind a nearby tree and let go of her waist. Unsurprisingly, she was the first to speak.  
"Thanks, Harry. I never would have had the nerve to Disarm him. Sorry 'bout that. I wish he would just get expelled or something," she said admiringly, looking up at Harry, her voice full of gratitude and caring.  
"No problem. Just hope his friend's okay."  
Cho's expression turned sour. "They're all morons."  
"Oh, are they? Well, what to expect, eh? They all hang around Caesar, right?"  
"Yes, and I have to see them everyday. I'm going to send an owl to Dumbledore one of these days. Dear Professor Dumbledore, I was just wondering if you could create a new house, one reserved for morons. I know many people who would qualify. Honestly, I have no idea how they ended up in Ravenclaw. They've got as much brains as Snape's got heart."  
Harry chuckled appreciatively, looking back into her laughing eyes.  
* * * Is he going to do it then, she thought. Why else would he have brought me here?  
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Celeste waving at her. Class would start soon with Cho feeling very unsatisfied.  
"Look, Harry, class is going to start soon. I've got to get going," she said sadly.  
"I guess you're right."  
No, don't tell me he's just going to stand there, she thought urgently. Well, he won't, if I've got any say in it.  
"So, I'll see you later, okay? Maybe we'll be lucky enough to see each other again."  
She turned around to leave, walking unnaturally slow. Come on, Harry.  
* * * Harry's mind seemed to have frozen. There was Cho, walking away, and he, not knowing what to do. This was so perfect, he couldn't just let it slip, but he couldn't move. Then suddenly, he found his voice.  
"Cho, wait! I want to show you something!"  
* * * She turned around, looking mildly surprised. Harry walked up to her and led her to yet another tree, this one a bit farther away.  
"You said you had something you wanted to show me? Are you going to make me late for class just to show me a tree?" she said suspiciously, trying not to betray her true emotions.  
"Yea - er, no. I don't want you to be late."  
"Well, where is it?"  
"It's right here.with me."  
Harry gently held her arms, still by her side, and moved his face closer. Cho couldn't breath.her heart was pounding, struggling to escape.his face inched closer.she closed her eyes, knowing what to expect, but it took her breath away all the same. Harry's hands moved down to her waist, pulling her closer, and Cho put her arms around his neck, her body pressing into his.  
Then it was over, much earlier than Cho had wished.  
"Did you like it?" Harry asked tentatively, his arms now by his sides. Cho dropped her hands as well.  
"Yeah, it was okay," she said casually, "but I can think of something better."  
Harry reached up to stroke her hair, so flawlessly smooth, running his fingers through it a couple times. She smiled at him, and he knew what to do.  
His hands were upon her waist again, his mouth on hers. The kiss deepened.Cho felt Harry pull closer.his tongue sliding past hers.she could hold him forever.to hold this kiss in her memory eternally.  
Then Harry pulled away.  
They were both shaking.  
"Well, um, I guess we'd better get going to class. Only 'bout a minute left," he mumbled with none of grace displayed while kissing.  
"Oh. Er, Harry?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Thanks."  
Cho reached up to give him hug and rested her head on his chest. Oh, he's so comforting, she thought almost sleepily. Forget about Care of Magical Creatures, can we have a Harry Potter class instead? A sudden ringing broke her reverie.  
The bell.  
The damn bell.  
Harry looked up and saw Ron and Hermione walking/storming through the grounds.  
"Cho, let me walk you to class, okay?"  
"Sure. That'd be great."  
Walking away, Harry's arm firmly around her waist, her head resting on his shoulder, Cho thought it was the happiest moment of her life.  
Cedric who? 


	3. Love and All Its Beauty

Chapter Three: Love and All Its Beauty  
  
After a hurried apology to Professor Sprout for being late, Harry took a seat between Ron and Hermione.  
"Mate, what kept you?"  
Harry couldn't reply. Part of him wanted to blurt out what had just occurred to the entire world, the other to keep it all inside.  
"Umm.someone held me up, you know."  
"Who?"  
To Harry, it seemed that Ron really wanted to know. But he couldn't just say "Cho." That would lead to an overload of questions, he knew that for certain, and he just couldn't take that right now. His head was still awry, thinking about what had happened. He recalled it, Cho's hands running through his rumpled hair, he had never felt so free. This is unbelievable, he thought. It could have just been a dream, a very real one, right? But then the feeling of Cho's lips came to mind.  
"Harry," Ron said impatiently, "what happe - "  
"Potter! Weasley! Pay attention! Five points from Gryffindor."  
Harry shrugged indifferently, still thinking about Cho. Professor Sprout could take five hundred points from Gryffindor, it didn't matter, just as long as he had a chance with her. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hermione roll her eyes.  
As the Gryffindors headed up back to the castle for lunch, Ron motioned for Harry to slow down.  
"Who held you up? Before Herbology?"  
Harry gulped. He knew that question would resurface. Better think of an answer quick. He wouldn't be able to delay Ron from asking it again.  
"Caesar."  
"Who's he?"  
"Othello Caesar," Hermione interrupted. "He's a Ravenclaw sixth year. Don't know why he's in that house though. He takes Remedial Potions, you know that?"  
Ron's mouth dropped in amazement.  
"Not even Neville has to take that! He must be pretty stupid."  
"Very," Hermione added briskly. "What were you doing with him anyway, Harry?"  
"Just, you know, bumped into him along the way," Harry replied, focusing intently on the grass.  
"Was he hitting on Cho? That's what he's been known to do," Hermione asked slyly.  
"You were with Cho?" Ron added, acting as if Snape had just been sacked.  
Harry said nothing, but quickened his pace.  
"Mate, it's okay if you were."  
Won't.  
"Harry, were you with her?"  
Say.  
"Spill, Harry. God, I wish I knew the Imperius Curse."  
A.  
"Harry, you can tell us, honestly."  
Word.  
"Harry, if you don't tell," Ron threatened, "we'll ask Cho. I'm sure she'd tell us everything."  
This last statement convinced Harry he ought to tell. After all, Ron and Hermione are my friends, he thought.  
"Uh, yeah, I was with her."  
Harry heard a crash behind him. Turning around, he saw Ron had dropped all of his books.  
"Blimey," he said weakly, "you were? What happened?"  
"You kissed her, didn't you?" Hermione teased. "You were snogging behind a tree, weren't you?"  
After helping Ron pick up his books, he looked at Hermione with all the seriousness he could muster.  
"Yes."  
"Harry, I was joking!" she said brightly, laughing. "And anyway, if you did kiss her, it'd be a chaste one, albeit on the lips, but still."  
"Well, I'm not joking."  
Another crash. ("Dammit! Not again!")  
Hermione slowly walked up to Harry, looking in his eyes as if to verify his words.  
"Y-you're not?" she stuttered.  
"No."  
Whooping erupted from behind them. Ron had left his fallen books on the ground and was dancing around Harry.  
"You kissed her? What's it like?" he asked earnestly after finally calming down.  
Harry thought about the question. What was it like, kissing Cho? He couldn't find a word that encompassed all the emotions he had experienced. Happy? Shocked? Passionate? Even embarrassed? No, none of those words fit. It was.it was.  
"Indescribable."  
* * * "Tell me more!"  
It was lunch, the perfect time for a conversation that didn't have to be conducted in whispers and under the nose of a teacher. Cho had just relayed all that had happened between herself and Harry to Celeste, and she was, to say the least, most eager to learn as much as she could.  
"Well, what do you want to know? I've told you as much as I could."  
"Is he a better kisser than Cedric? From what I've heard from his ex- girlfriends and you, he was quite accomplished in osculation."  
"I haven't thought about that yet."  
"Think about it now, then."  
What Celeste had said about Cedric was indeed true. Cho had experienced it firsthand. The first thing that struck her about Cedric was how tender he was, and his kisses reflected that. They were always so gentle.but they never lingered for very long. But Harry, well, he was much different. So passionate, so ardent, so vibrant and full of life, that one kiss had left her more breathless than Cedric ever had.  
"Harry, I suppose."  
"You like him more than Cedric?"  
"Maybe. I'll need a bit more time before I can give you a good answer."  
"Okay. So you think he'll ask you out? He'd better, especially after such a kiss."  
Yes, Cho hoped that Harry would have asked her out, right there under the tree, but remember? We were going to be late for class.  
"I think he will, in a little bit, I guess. I hope."  
"That's awesome!" Celeste leaned in a bit to give Cho a quick hug. "This is exactly what you need after Cedric. Just make sure he doesn't find out about it."  
"Ugh, you're right. If he hears about this, well, I shudder to think what will happen."  
"So, let's try some of this salad here, shall we?"  
Cho made a face of disgust. "Hope it's not Caesar!"  
The two friends burst into laughter.  
* * * At the Gryffindor table, the laughter had caught Harry's ear. It was this girl with light brown hair.and Cho. Her laugh had such a ringing sound to it, so satisfying to hear.  
"You're looking at her again," Ron observed wryly.  
"Can't help it. She's intoxicating."  
Now that he had told about the kiss, the fact that he fancied Cho didn't have to be kept a secret any longer. In fact, Harry planned to be as forthright about it as he could to put people off their guard. Now that he had kissed her, there seemed to be only one more (very sensible) thing to do.  
"Gonna ask her out, Harry?"  
"Yeah. When we find out when the next Hogsmeade visit is, I'll ask."  
He didn't have to wait long.  
When Ron and Harry quickly dashed up the Gryffindor Tower to put away a couple unneeded books, they discovered a new notice on the bulletin board.  
"Harry, look! Hogsmeade visit, the 23rd! Blimey, they've never had one this early before. Looks like you'd better ask her out soon."  
"Ron, it's only the first day back - ????"  
"But if you ask her out early, you'll have something to look forward to!"  
Ron has a point, Harry thought.  
"I'll ask her tomorrow then, I guess. Why don't you ask Hermione out?"  
"Yeah, you're right," Ron replied in an off-hand voice. "But why should I bother? I'm betting you ten people have already asked her. One of them is probably Malfoy, the shit-eating bastard."  
"Well, let's go. We've got Binns next," Harry said, not wanting to discuss the relationship between Hermione and Malfoy.  
Sprinting downstairs, they were just on time.  
"Settle down, class. Wessel, Peter, take a seat please."  
"More like 'go to sleep, class'," Ron muttered under his breath, dreading the hour and forty-five minutes ahead of him.  
"Ron! Wake up!"  
"Geroff," he murmured sleepily, feebly waving away the thing that was prodding him.  
"RON! Oh, you're hopeless. Ennervate!"  
As if he was just gored in the stomach by a raging bull, he sat up, obviously mad that someone had just woken him up.  
"What did you do that for, Hermione? I was having a dream, a good dream at that! All those Galleons, now they're gone, thanks to you!"  
"They were never there, so move. We have Potions and we're already late, courtesy of your little nap."  
"Bloody hell, WE HAVE BLOODY POTIONS?"  
This sudden realization had woken Ron up better than any spell could have. Snatching his bag, he ran out of the classroom, almost knocking Harry, who had been watching nearby, into the wall.  
"Let's follow Ron then. C'mon, Hermione."  
The two of them pelted down the hallway, knowing that every second they were later, the more of an excuse Snape had to take fifty points from Gryffindor on the first day back.  
* * * The Ravenclaws and the Hufflepuffs emerged from the dungeons ashen-faced, most walking with their heads down, others wishing Snape would die.  
"I still don't understand how we got an O on our damn O.W.L.s," Celeste said angrily. "I couldn't remember anything from last year.or any of the other years, come to think of it! And Snape assigns one of the hardest potions for class! Plus, we've got that crap essay about molewood and all of its damn uses. It has too many damn uses to keep track of. The damn essay's probably going to fill up ten damn scrolls of parchment, at least."  
"I guess we better get some of it done this week, before Quidditch season starts. I don't know how I'm going to manage all these N.E.W.T.s along with Quidditch," Cho said softly, looking equally downtrodden as the rest of the students.  
"I don't know how I'm going to be able to fit in Quidditch at all! You're not a Chaser. Davies went into his whole thing about the front three - which he is a part of, by the way - not being fast enough, not using all the strategies he's invested so much time in. Someone ought to kick him off the team. He's going end up killing himself and the other Chasers."  
"Thankfully, he's leaving at the end of this year."  
"Yeah, maybe we'll have a decent captain by then. HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"  
Celeste's bag was suddenly lying on the floor, pages from her books flying everywhere. Cho looked behind her, three figures were tearing through the hall, apparently late for Potions. One of them had been going at such a speed he (or she) knocked into Celeste's bag, scattering her books everywhere. Still looking at the misfortunate students, Cho thought she saw someone who looked quite familiar.  
"Damn them! Now we're going to be late! It's not like the hallway's narrow! It's wide enough for human bullets to travel through without knocking something to the ground."  
"Let me help, Celeste. Reparo! I hope none of the teachers saw that; we're not allowed to use magic in the halls. Oh, well."  
* * * "Today we shall be working on the Invigoration Draught. Up here on the board are the instructions, and I hope those who can read properly shall be able to follow them. At the end of the class, please fill your flask with whatever you managed to concoct and bring it up to me." Snape's cold glittering eyes surveyed the room, landing on Harry, Hermione, and Ron. Having arrived late, it was very possible that he loathed them more than ever. As the class began gathering their ingredients, Malfoy moved his cauldron over by Hermione and set it up there.  
"What brings you here?" Ron said disgustedly, wrinkling his nose.  
"Why, I'm going to work with my friend," he replied smoothly, giving Ron a supercilious look. "I'm going to work with Miss Granger."  
It's just like back in Care of Magical Creatures, Harry mused. Malfoy and Hermione are working together.  
"Hermione's a little off-color today, isn't she?" Harry asked Ron.  
"More like bloody mad," he spat, bringing his knife down so hard half of his ginger roots went flying across the room.  
As Ron went to retrieve his roots, Harry tried to eavesdrop on Malfoy and Hermione's conversation. Unsurprisingly, they weren't talking about Potions or even anything related to academia.  
"Did you know there's a Hogsmeade trip coming up at the end of the month?" Malfoy asked in a tone Harry had never heard him use before. It was, well, almost kind.  
"Is there?" Hermione replied indifferently, concentrating a little too hard on her roots.  
"Yes, the 23rd. Hermione, look at me."  
He's calling her by her first name?  
"If you already haven't promised your sweet little heart to anyone else, would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me?"  
Harry tried to inconspicuously study her face. Though she was still looking at Malfoy, her face was slightly red, her eyes glinting with a fervor he had never seen before.  
"Of course, Draco."  
She's calling him by his first name?  
Harry turned back to his own potion, his head spinning. Did Malfoy - Malfoy, the high and the mighty, the pureblood - just ask Hermione out? No, this wasn't possible. He, Harry, must have heard wrong. Sure, she was acting oddly today, but this was beyond weird. This just wasn't right.  
"Harry."  
Ron was back.  
  
"Yeah?" Harry answered, trying to keep his face from showing the absolute tumult inside him.  
"I've decided I'm going to ask Hermione to go to Hogsmeade with me after class."  
"But Ron - "  
"Think she'll agree?"  
No use. Ron obviously would not listen to a word he said. How disappointed he'll be when he finds out she's going with Malfoy. For the rest of the class, Harry worked in silence. Ron seemed to be muttering things under his breath, and though the most he heard was a lot of buzzing, Harry had a pretty good idea as to what Ron was saying.  
At the end of class, just as Hermione swung her bag onto her shoulder, Ron approached her, looking as if he just stepped off the Knight Bus.  
"Um, Hermione? Could I have a word?"  
"Okay, Ron. Draco, you go ahead. I'll catch up later."  
For a moment, it appeared Ron was going to fall over, hearing Hermione refer to Malfoy as "Draco", but he soon regained his composure.  
"Uh, you know there's going to be a Hogsmeade trip?"  
"Don't even bother," Hermione interrupted, rather rudely in Harry's opinion. "I'm already going with someone."  
"Y-you are?"  
"Yes, so ask someone else."  
Hermione turned on her heal to walk away. As the click-clack of her shoes grew fainter, Ron's face turned steadily more pink, the disbelief more evident in his eyes. Just before she was about to turn the corner, Ron yelled out, "OY! HERMIONE!"  
"WHAT, RON?" she yelled back, facing him.  
"WHO ARE YOU GOING WITH?"  
"WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!"  
"I SAID, WHO ARE YOU GOING WITH?"  
"WHERE?"  
"TO HOGSMEADE!"  
"OH! WITH DRACO! SEE YOU AT CLASS THEN!"  
* * * "Think he's going to ask you out after dinner?"  
"I hope," Cho replied, her eyes darting back and forth from Harry to her dinner.  
"Don't worry. I'm sure he will. After all, the Hogsmeade trip is pretty soon."  
"It is?"  
"Yeah. Near the end of the month. Early, don't you think?"  
"Mm."  
It means I can see Harry sooner, she thought. Oh, I want to go out with him! Why won't he ask? I'm almost positive he fancies me.  
Cho looked at Harry in earnest, as if staring at him would make her wish come true. I know he will. Just be patient.  
But didn't you just say you're almost positive he fancies you?  
Almost positive?  
Almost?  
Oh, what if he doesn't?  
* * * Ron hadn't said much for the rest of the day, and dinner proved to be no exception. He, who had always greeted food with much excitement, was poking about his dish with a fork, occasionally shooting a nasty look at Hermione. Hermione, on the other hand, did not possess one bit of the melancholy Ron had, and was chatting avidly with a group of guys, smiling as she went along. At this point, Harry couldn't stand watching his friends like this, so he tried to speak to Ron.  
"Uh, do you think I should ask Cho out after dinner?"  
"Whatever you want then," came the toneless reply.  
"Well, um, you think I should ask her out soon?"  
"Sure, yeah. Okay."  
Harry shook his head and went back to cutting up his chicken.  
* * * "Hey, Cho, could I have a word?"  
She looked behind her, halfheartedly wondering who it might be, even though she had a rather good idea who.  
"Yes, Harry?"  
He jogged up the staircase and pulled her aside near a suit of armor.  
"Hey, uh, you know there's a Hogsmeade trip coming up the 23rd?"  
"Why, no. I've been so busy today, not even a chance to check out the bulletin board," Cho lied, hoping that in this instance, lying had been the right thing to do. Even if it wasn't, she was at least telling a half- truth. True, she had been too busy to check out the bulletin board.  
"Well, are you going with anyone yet because I was wondering if you would like to go, you know, with me."  
He said this all very quickly, though Cho personally thought he wasn't nearly as nervous as when he had asked her to the Yule Ball last year. She wanted to yell, "Of course, Harry, I'll go with you! I would never go with anyone but you, my darling!" and then kiss him, but she knew that simply wasn't the right way to go about it.  
"Of course," she answered slowly, simply, hoping it would be enough, letting a small smile slip out. "Of course I will."  
But then she couldn't restrain herself. She hugged Harry tightly, whispering, "Yes! I will!" over and over again, completely overjoyed, not caring if she made herself conspicuous, because at that moment, she wanted to yell out to the world, "I love you, Harry!" not caring what other people thought of her. That was the way Harry made her feel, unchained, flying, flying from responsibility and obligation, flying from obstinate parents, flying from the past, flying from life, absolutely free.  
And before she could quite figure out what was going on, Harry had her in a sweeping kiss, Cho nearly dizzy with elation. He was bending her back, her hands clasped behind his neck, his lips working furiously against her own.  
"Hello?"  
Cho tore herself away from Harry to look at the figure, slightly stunned, standing near her.  
"Oh, hi, Celeste."  
She let go of Harry and faced her friend formally. Celeste raised an eyebrow, and Cho fought the urge to just laugh out loud. Ever since they met, this quirky gesture of her friend's had always amused her.  
"Celeste, this is Harry. Harry, Celeste."  
They shook hands, and she greeted him by saying (in a very sly voice), "So, this is person that's swept my friend off her feet?"  
Cho pretended to be mildly interested in a portrait of a sleeping witch. Astonishingly, however, Harry handled the situation with much ease.  
"No. I'm the person who's swept off my feet."  
Cho couldn't help but giggle.  
"Look, Harry, I've got to get going. Snape's assigned us this essay that'll take at least the rest of this week to finish. I'll you later, okay, darling?"  
She used the word hesitantly, not knowing if it was suitable yet because, technically, they had only just become a couple. It had also been the word she had used so many times to address Cedric. Cho was still not sure whether or not she was ready to bestow the honor of being her "darling" onto anyone else.  
"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then."  
He gave her one last hug, and she and Celeste walked up to the Ravenclaw Tower.  
* * * Harry collapsed onto his bed, not wanting to be in the boisterous common room.  
Wow.  
* * * "Damn, he is some kisser."  
Celeste was in a virtual swoon by the time the two had arrived in the Ravenclaw common room. Cho had secured two seats in a corner so their conversation would not be overheard.  
"Wish I had a guy who could kiss like that," Celeste sighed dreamily, nearly falling off her chair. "Know what? If I had a choice between Harry and Cedric, I so would have gone with Harry."  
"Well, you know, at that time, Harry just didn't hold any appeal to me. That's how it works. One day a guy's scenery, the next day, the leading man in your life."  
"Yeah, but really.if Harry asked me out.wow."  
As Celeste was staring out through the window with a rather glazed look, Cho sighed, releasing all the feelings that had locked up within her since Harry had asked her out. Surprise and shock mingled with euphoria and joy, mixed with just a little guilt. She didn't know how it was possible to hold so many emotions without exploding. She also didn't know how it was possible to have feelings that covered the entire emotional spectrum. In a desperate attempt to keep herself from being overwhelmed, she grabbed for a roll of parchment lying on the table and a quill.  
"Celeste, we've got to start working on Snape's essay."  
"Shit. Did you have to say that, Cho? I was thinking what it would be like to kiss Harry. Great. Thus ends my brief daydream." 


	4. The Invisible Man

Chapter Four: The Invisible Man  
  
For Cho, the 23rd of September never approached slower. However, she hardly had moment to dwell on her coming date. Her N.E.W.T. classes were demanding more and more of her, she could barely think of anything outside academia. She had even considered resigning from the Quidditch team. Though flying had always been a wonderful way of relieving the stress of school, Cho found that even soaring through the air wasn't distraction enough. During evenings when practices were absent, she was up very late, working on homework and discussing essays with Celeste (often punctuated with much swearing).  
But the week of the 17th eventually arrived and with much flourish. Just like in the past years, rumors were flying everywhere as to who was going with whom to Hogsmeade. Not wanting to be the center of attention, Cho attempted to keep a low profile, skirting people in corridors and not speaking up during class.  
Determined not to let Harry get in the way of her future career and schoolwork, she tried to be as attentive as she could in classes, even in the most boring ones, but as Friday loomed near, she found her attention waning.  
Harry, Harry!  
* * * "When are you going to meet her?"  
Ever since being rejected by Hermione, Ron took much more interest in Harry's love life. Though Harry often found this irritating, he decided it was much better than seeing his best friend moping about, constantly swearing under his breath. Hermione had ignored them for the most part, though she still addressed Harry coolly, she refused to speak to Ron at all.  
"Um, actually."  
"Don't tell me you haven't arranged a time yet!"  
"Well, it's only Wednesday."  
"Harry! Come on!"  
"I'll write to her, okay? Is that okay?"  
Taken aback, Ron merely said, "Sure, fine."  
"Got some spare parchment, Ron?"  
"Yeah, take this and my quill."  
Harry quickly scribbled a brief note and handed the quill back.  
  
Cho, why don't you meet me by the staircase near the Great Hall at 10:30 on Saturday? How does that sound? Send Hedwig back with a reply.  
- Harry  
  
"Here, Ron, want to go the Owlery with me? Still before nine, we won't get in trouble."  
"Yeah, okay. I don't want to work on this rubbish dream diary anyway."  
The two left the Gryffindor common room and set out towards the Owlery. Their footsteps echoed eerily off the walls, and something suggested an unexpected event was to come up very soon. The occasional ghost floated by accompanied with the rattling of armor. Though candles were situated here and there, Harry wished he could be back in front of the blazing fire, the warmth washing over him, a tidal wave of heat.  
"Harry! Listen!"  
The dark enveloped Harry again, the fire in his mind vanished. He strained his ears to listen to the sound Ron had mentioned. For a moment, he heard nothing but silence, and then something made his head turn sharply to one side, his eyes narrowing.  
It was Hermione.  
She was giggling.  
And someone else was with her.  
Harry motioned for Ron to move closer. Careful to avoid patches of moonlight that may reveal his presence, Harry slid closer to the sound. Then he saw it.  
Two figures were standing uncomfortably close together.  
Hermione's bushy hair was easily recognizable, but the other figure.though Harry had suspected him along.it sent his mind spinning anyway.  
Malfoy.  
Hermione.  
Malfoy.  
Together.  
Hallway.  
SNOGGING!  
Ron was looking equally staggered, and by the looks of it, he was about to fall right into.  
"RON NO!"  
Harry yelled as loud as he could, but even so the toppling of armor crashing to the stone floor drowned out his pleas, and he could see out of the corner of his eye Hermione had pulled away from Malfoy, staring about for what had caused the commotion, her wand pulled out, her eyes vigilant, darting about. Harry motioned for Ron to silently back away. Forget about the letter, Harry thought frantically. I'll send it tomorrow, but we just have to LEAVE!  
It wasn't until they were back in the safe vicinity of the common room did either of them speak.  
"Bloody hell," Ron croaked, his eyes looking blankly up at the ceiling, still registering what had just happened.  
* * * It's Friday afternoon! I only have to wait until tomorrow!  
Even in Transfiguration, one of Cho's most important classes, she could not keep her mind off of the impending date. Luckily, there wasn't any lecturing this class, so she could freely think without having to take notes. Yesterday morning, during breakfast, she had further confirmed her date by establishing the time she would be meeting Harry.  
"Hey, Cho."  
It was Solara, a "friend" from last year. Cho wondered why Solara would want to talk to her now. In fact, it was she who swore she would never talk to Cho again. Suppose Solara forgot about that, she thought sardonically.  
"Hi. What brings you here?"  
"You going to Hogsmeade tomorrow?  
"Yes, and you?"  
"Yeah. Going with anyone?"  
Why is she talking about this now? And why with me, her "enemy"?  
"Well, are you?"  
Cho didn't particularly like the idea of Solara knowing she was going with Harry, especially since she was part of the entire Cedric uproar that occurred in the girls' dormitory last year.  
"Yeah. I'm going with Othello."  
Clank.  
Cho dropped her wand.  
"You are.WHAT?"  
"Hey, why not? He's a nice guy."  
She could not help but stare. Othello, a "nice guy"? Solara must have lost her mind. Hadn't she witnessed Othello hit on me like, what, a hundred times last year? She was standing right there! Along with a lot of other people! There was something amiss here. Othello would never go to Hogsmeade with someone like Solara. She was, well, too plain for him. Othello, the lover of the blonde and those who wore too much makeup, would never go to Hogsmeade with someone like Solara. She wasn't hideous, only she didn't quite fit the description of Othello's typical girlfriend. There had to be some catch here.  
"So, Cho, are you going with anyone?"  
Having just a slight suspicion as to what was happening, Cho dissented. "No, I'm not. I'm just going with Celeste, maybe I won't go at all."  
"Celeste," Solara rolled her eyes. "That bitch. I can't believe you're still friends with someone like her. Just dreaming her whole life away.I still can't believe she got more O.W.L.s than I did."  
"Well, maybe you just need to accept the fact that she works harder than you," Cho retorted, her temper always rising when someone was having a go at Celeste.  
"Well, fine then! Bitch! I hope you're happy when you have all the N.E.W.T.s you can have when I'll have the guy of my dreams!"  
Solara stomped away, looking back at Cho with a glance of pure poison. Though Cho knew she had just turned an indifferent onlooker into a true rival, for some reason, she couldn't care less. She had defended Celeste (who was in the hospital wing; in Charms today, a book had some how smashed into her nose, causing it to bleed uncontrollably) and kept her date secret from the world, and really, she could not have felt more pleased.  
She felt like a yellow balloon, rising into the air.uninhibited.  
Pop.  
Damn.  
It's him.  
"So, darling, you're not going with anyone?" came the annoyingly smooth voice, mocking her. Cho felt herself turn red.  
"No, I'm not. Do you have a problem with that?"  
"Where's your little friend?"  
"She has a name, and it's Celeste," Cho spat between gritted teeth.  
"Anyway, back to the original matter. Why isn't someone as attractive as yourself going with someone to Hogsmeade? Why, I'd think guys would be queuing up to ask you. I remember last year they were. The Yule Ball? But you chose Cedric. And this year, you're off chasing after Potter."  
This last statement was met with much sniggering from across the room.  
"I.I'm not! I don't have anything to do with Harry! He - we're.we're just friends!"  
Why couldn't I be blessed with the ability to lie?  
" 'Friends', huh? Sure 'bout that?"  
"Okay class! Back to your work! Need I remind you again, Caesar, that you are in a N.E.W.T level class?"  
"No, Professor. I'll go and work then."  
He sauntered back to his table (Solara was anxiously waiting for him) with one last pompous look at Cho, who was on the brink of tears.  
"Miss Chang, are you alright?" Professor McGonagall asked kindly, concern etched startlingly clear in her face.  
"Um, could I go to the bathroom for a moment?"  
"Of course."  
Cho dashed out of the room, immediately comforted by the fact she was no longer in the same room as Othello, and headed to the hospital wing. She didn't know how she could survive a second longer without Celeste's presence. True, her friend was full of levity and sometimes wasn't serious when the situation called for it, but she always pulled everything in the right perspective, had always comforted Cho in a way no one else could. And suddenly Cho felt a surge of affection for her friend, her friend who had always been there for her, and accompanying this feeling, a surge of guilt, for not being as loyal a friend as Celeste had always been.  
* * * "So, are you even going Hogsmeade tomorrow?"  
It was Friday night, and Harry found he couldn't concentrate one bit on his History of Magic essay. Every time he thought of giant wars, Cho was somehow involved. In fact, Harry had already made the mistake of writing "Cho" instead of "Ulfric" many times. Ron, too, found his focus amiss. But that was for a different reason. "If it means having to see Hermione and Malfoy snog behind Honeydukes, then no. I'd rather go to Potions." To Harry, however, it was evident all Ron wanted was to catch Hermione and Malfoy doing just that. That gave him an idea. "You know," Harry said in an undertone, "I could lend you my Invisibility Cloak so you can see what they're up to." Giving up any pretense of not being interested in Hermione's date, Ron slumped back into his chair, mumbling a "Sure" but grinning sheepishly all the same. "Just ask me before I leave, okay?" "But when's Hermione leaving for Hogsmeade?" Ron asked anxiously. "Overheard her talking to 'Draco'. She's leaving half an hour after I am." "Thanks, Harry. Well, you better get to sleep. Sure you don't want to go on a date with bags under your eyes." "Your concern, though appreciated, is unnecessary," Harry said in a perfect imitation of Malfoy's sleazy drawl. Ron sniggered approvingly. "Up for a game of Gobstones, Harry?"  
* * * "Cho! Wake up! You only have an hour to get ready!"  
"Wha.?"  
"Your date! With the great kisser Harry! In ONE HOUR!" Celeste yelled, sounding as if she was explaining to a toddler than one plus one equals two.  
"Damn, really?" Cho bolted upright, her hair flying everywhere. "What time is it?"  
Celeste sighed impatiently. "Like I have already reiterated before, YOU - HAVE - ONE - HOUR! Which would mean it's about 9:30 in the morning, on Saturday, September the 23rd, in the gorgeous year of 1995."  
"Oh, I really need to stop sleeping-in on the weekends."  
"Hey, I think the N.E.W.T. classes are getting to you. But anyway, here's some toast I took from breakfast."  
Hastily shoving the buttered slice of bread into her mouth, Cho went rummaging through her trunk. She emerged clutching an ornate circular mirror, plated with gold around the edge, encrusted with jewels. At the sight of it, Celeste's mouth fell to the floor.  
"Wow. What is that?"  
"Something that'll save a hell lot of time. It's a Complexion Altering Mirror. See?" Cho set it up on her night table. "Initio." The mirror glowed pink and then the color disappeared. "My cousin sent this to me for a birthday present once, but I hardly ever use it. Don't know why I bring it to school, but I guess this time it came in handy. This mirror will apply all your makeup for you. Let's see."  
"Well, you're going to need some lipstick. Uh, how does this work?"  
"Look at the mirror directly, focus on what part of your face you want the makeup to go, then, for example, if you want lipstick, just say, 'Lipstick' and the color you'd like your lipstick to be. After the initial applying of it, you can change the color."  
"Okay.so, let's start off with a plain red color, then we'll change it to more natural tones."  
"Lipstick - red! Ugh, this makes me look like a prostitute!"  
"Well," Celeste said coolly, "I guess that's why they let you alter it, so you don't end up looking like a ho."  
The two spent the next half hour fiddling with the mirror, trying to get Cho's makeup to stay at the median between gaudy and homely. At last, Cho was satisfied with the result, and with a quick "Finis," the mirror glowed pink once more. Cho then revealed it could style one's hair, but to that, Celeste adamantly opposed.  
"Well, I wonder who did your hair for the Yule Ball," Celeste remarked in mock surprise, lifting a pinky to her mouth. "Cho, I can do your hair better than that crap mirror can."  
"I'm not saying you can't. I was merely telling you that - "  
"Eh, cease your babbling! We are running out of time! And we still have to get you an outfit. In case the fact hasn't reached you yet, you're still in your pajamas."  
"Well, wouldn't you think it's better if I get my clothes on first? Because if I get dressed after the hair, it may ruin your masterpiece."  
"True. So, shall we go search through our trunks?"  
Within moments, Cho had found the perfect skirt - black, sleek and straight, stopping a few inches before the knee. Her top, however, proved to be much harder to find.  
"What sort of a look do you want to go for, Cho?"  
"Um, actually, I don't know."  
"Revealing?" Celeste held up a rather low-cut white and sleeveless shirt. Cho shook her head. "How about conservative?" Celeste raised a sweater.  
"Definitely not the sweater. I'd rather go with the slutty shirt than that."  
"Well, how about this? I think you'd look really good in it!"  
Celeste was holding a light purple blouse, which was made of a light, silky material. Cho reached up to feel it, savoring the smooth texture of the blouse.  
"Hmm, you're right! It's lovely!"  
"So go and change in the bathroom. I'll meet you there in a second, okay? Gotta look up some new hairstyles!"  
Upon reaching the bathroom on the fifth floor, the closest one, the realization she was going on a date with Harry Potter fully sank in, and her face split into a wide grin. Life is wonderful, she thought, bubbling over delight. She pushed open the bathroom door and waltzed in.  
The yellow balloon was back, floating into happiness.  
Pop.  
Someone was sitting at one of the vanities.  
Someone Cho really didn't want to see at the moment.  
"Cho, what are you doing here with all those fancy clothes and the makeup? Thought you said you weren't going to Hogsmeade. Or maybe you're going to prance about the castle, seducing a bunch of really unfortunate guys."  
Hmm, this is just great.  
"Well, Solara, I shall be doing nothing of the like."  
"Got a date then? What did you have to do first? Shag him?"  
Solara was standing up, blush brush still in her hand. Fool, Cho thought. She didn't bring her wand. What kind of person walks around Hogwarts without a wand?  
"Well, if I had to shag my way into getting a date, I wonder what you must have had to do," Cho replied calmly, her face composed.  
"WHAT? Oh, so you think I'd sink to your level, huh?" Solara's arms were now crossed, glaring at Cho with complete and utter dislike. "You think you're so great, Cho, because you got to go out with the great Cedric. And now here you are again! Running about the castle, announcing to the whole damn world you've got another date."  
"In case you haven't noticed, I have not done any running about nor have I been telling everyone I've got another boyfriend, unlike yourself. No wonder Othello likes you. Your head is so over inflated, I'm wondering why it's not floating away."  
"BUGGER OFF, YOU BI - "  
"Silencio!"  
Solara continued to shout but no sound escaped her throat.  
"What's going on? Cho, why haven't you changed yet?" Celeste's puzzled eyes fell on Cho and then moved to Solara, still pointing threateningly at Cho. "And why is she here?" Celeste looked at Solara with repugnance.  
"She's going on a date with Mr. Caesar. Hope Othello likes his girlfriends mute. Now leave."  
Solara pointed at her throat.  
"Why, you want your voice back? I never would have noticed!" Cho said sarcastically.  
A very rude gesture from Solara made Celeste take out her wand.  
"Promise to leave, then I'll give you your voice back."  
Solara nodded, but her eyes did the pleading for her.  
Cho sighed and muttered the countercurse.  
"Thanks a lot, bitch," she snarled on her way out the door. Then she muttered something so only Cho could hear. "Othello's going to hear about this."  
But for once, Cho did not care.  
"Get changed, Cho!" Celeste urged, now that Solara had left. "You only have twenty minutes! Not to mention the hair!"  
Cho entered the changing room and hastily dressed. Content with her appearance, she turned to leave. Then something caught her eye. It was her necklace, her very simple necklace. There was a silver pendant hanging on it and etched upon it were two 'C's. Cho and Cedric, she thought, remembering the day Cedric had bought it for her. She had been so enchanted by its simplicity, promised to wear it forever.  
Cho took it off and placed it in her pocket.  
"There you are! Sit down, Mrs. Potter."  
Cho giggled. That's Celeste, all right, she thought, smiling. Always poking fun at every situation.  
As Celeste crafted her masterpiece, Cho continually looked at her watch. Ten minutes.can't Celeste hurry up.five.three.two.  
"Done! We need to run if you're going to be time. By the way, here are your shoes, cloak, and I thought this necklace would look really good with your outfit."  
It, too, was a plain silver one, but instead of the two 'C's, there was just a heart.  
"Wait a sec. Did you say, 'we'?"  
"Well, yeah. You need someone to send you off, right? Wish you luck?"  
I don't think I've ever met anyone as supportive as Celeste.  
"C'mon then!"  
* * * Harry had left his watch in the dorm, so he kept on asking Ron (standing near him under the Invisibility Cloak) what time it was.  
"Harry, it's 10:29, okay? She'll be here soon, so don't worry."  
But Harry couldn't help but worry.  
* * * Cho and Celeste sprinted down the corridor as fast as they could (Cho much slower due to her shoes), stopping only to catch their breath once they reached the staircase.  
"Well, then, better put on your cloak right here. Unseasonably chilly today, but still sunny."  
"You went outside already?"  
"During breakfast. You were sleeping remember?"  
Cho grinned guiltily.  
"So, you ready?"  
"Celeste, I really hope so," Cho said, looking as if she was resigned to the worst.  
"Okay then. I'll see you when you come back?"  
"Definitely. It'll be before dinner, don't worry."  
"Yeah, then you can tell me all about it."  
Something in Celeste's voice told Cho that she only wanted to know one thing.  
"Well, bye!"  
"Have lots of fun!"  
* * * Harry saw her.  
Cho.  
She was standing at the top of the staircase, looking for Harry. He felt the impulse to yell out to her, but he knew that wouldn't be prudent. Instead, he looked at Hermione. Though she was standing arm-in-arm with Malfoy, a circle of guys was standing about her, and she was clearly enjoying all the attention. Hermione said she would meet Malfoy at 11:00. I wonder why the sudden change in plans. Harry vaguely wondered what Ron might be thinking about this.  
"Harry!"  
He looked back up at the staircase, but Cho wasn't there anymore. He glanced about, wondering where she could be. Surely she couldn't have left.  
"HARRY!"  
He felt a tugging at his sleeve. He looked down, and his heart began to beat unusually fast.  
"Hi, Cho. Ready to go?"  
He tried to surreptitiously check her out as they walked to Hogsmeade. She was so unbelievably radiant. Her silky blouse accentuated her flowing curves and showed enough flesh for Harry to be satisfied, her skirt displayed her graceful legs. Her hair was pulled up into a loose bun, and two strands of hair hand on either side of her face, softening it (not like she needs it, Harry thought). Her eyes seemed, somehow, more luminous and bright than before, her lips, delicately colored a perfect hue, were formed into a small smile, and Harry wanted to kiss her luscious mouth.  
No one said anything for a while, to Harry, the silence didn't seem forced nor did the day ever look better, despite the fact it was rather chilly. Then Cho spoke.  
"So, would you like to eat lunch first?"  
"Why don't we go to Honeydukes? Buy some candy, then we can go sit in the Three Broomsticks, maybe eat some of the candy, get some butterbeer - how does that sound?"  
"That would be great," she replied, smiling, kissing Harry on the cheek.  
* * * To Cho, it felt like her mind had exploded, being so physically close to him, and she had trouble maintaining her breathing regular. She instinctively leaned into him and looked up. To her surprise, Harry was looking back down at her. His green eyes were just so stunning and ever more so outside, reflecting the sunshine. She could see herself in his eyes, as if she was a part of him, as if she ran through his veins, giving him life. Why, I look so frightened!  
And then she laughed, such a crystalline laugh, laughing at herself, something she had never been able to do. Harry, she was sure, did not know why she suddenly rang out in peals of laughter, but he smiled at her. The laughing ceased, but she was looking back up at Harry, relieved to know that she now longer looked so intimidated.  
It was only a moment, literally less than a minute, but it was surely a most dazzling moment, Harry and Cho, together, a union formed to last an eternity, a speechless marriage of hearts.  
* * * "So, lunch first, my dear?"  
"Yes, Draco. I'm famished."  
"And after Hogsmeade, a little more studying in the library?"  
Hermione giggled and blushed.  
I wonder what they must be studying, Ron thought darkly. Shagging techniques? Ever since witnessing Hermione and Malfoy snogging in the middle of the corridor that Wednesday night, the minor annoyance at the two of them grew into a full-fledged tempest, and he was determined to get them back for it. Hadn't she realized it yet, that he, Ron, had fancied her since their third year? Hadn't she realized that, even after all the subtle hints (which were often none to subtle) he had given, especially last year at the Yule Ball? Could anyone be so hopelessly blind?  
But then Ron had always suspected Hermione liked him as well. However, now that she was spending her Hogsmeade weekend with Malfoy, it seemed to be an impossibility.  
Well, he was to blame too. Should have asked her out earlier, two years ago, more like, he thought mournfully. Well, thanks to Harry, at least I can see what their up to. If Malfoy's gonna shag her.well.he's never going to see daylight again.  
* * * "Oh, really, is that what happened to her?"  
Cho was still chuckling merrily at the little anecdote Harry had just told. They had finished their lunch and were now downing their butterbeer with the occasional chocolate from Honeydukes.  
"Yeah."  
"So, is that how she knew everything, flying around as a beetle? Ha! I can't imagine Rita Skeeter as a fat little bug. You'd think she'd be a snake or something, sneaking around and eavesdropping."  
"Well, neither could I until Hermio - "  
Harry couldn't finish his sentence. Merely thinking about Hermione and the fun times they used to have brought heartache. She didn't even talk to Harry anymore, and compensated for that by flirting with even more guys, many who were in Slytherin.  
"Speaking of Hermione," Cho said, suddenly taking on a much more serious tone, "have you noticed she's acting, well, a bit oddly this year?"  
"Oh, good, Ron and I aren't the only ones. Most guys seem oblivious of that fact."  
"She sickens me, really," she remarked indifferently, "flirting with so many people when, in fact, she should go out with Ron. It's pretty obvious he likes her."  
Harry wondered how she knew, but his question was soon answered.  
"At the Yule Ball, he kept on saying things that were just hiding his true feelings. The whole 'fraternizing with the enemy' deal, didn't you think it was obvious?"  
Now that he thought about it, it was rather evident Ron had fancied Hermione for a while.  
"Oh, look who it is," Harry said sarcastically.  
* * * Cho turned around, only to see Hermione surrounded by a very large group of guys, including Draco Malfoy. She was sporting an incredibly low-cut shirt, so low Cho thought what it was supposed to be holding in might spill out at any moment. Her skirt seems to tight it was a wonder she could still walk. And on rather high heels at that! Malfoy, she thought, what is that scum doing with her? You'd think she would have better taste than that. Slytherin filth.  
But.  
Why was she suddenly so popular this year?  
Maybe it was because of the O.W.L.s. Cho remembered how close she was to nervous collapse in her fifth year due to those exams and she would have done anything for someone to help her other than Celeste, who was in a fragile state as well. Maybe Hermione is using her intelligence to win some popularity. Well, she's pretty shallow, to want to be that popular.  
But she is liked.  
By many.  
And she is Harry's friend, though they just aren't speaking to each other for the time being.  
Wait. Stop.  
Wow.  
I never realized Harry has such esteemed company, she thought madly, and if he hangs out with people like this, then his standard for friends must be really high. They must all have to pretty and smart and all and.  
Bloody hell.  
What if I'm not good enough for him?  
For Harry?  
What if he thinks I'm not good enough in anything? I'm not shockingly good-looking or really smart or even that great of a Quidditch player and - oh!  
What if he doesn't really like me at all?  
But don't think about that, Cho. Of course Harry likes you. Otherwise he wouldn't have asked you out - there are plenty of other girls in this school, including Hermione the femme fatale - or kissed you like he did.  
What if it was all out of pity? What if he thought, "Oh, look at this girl, she looks so pitiful, so why don't I go out with her to make her feel better?"  
No, he went out with me because he likes me, just as I like him.  
Okay?  
No more doubts.  
Case is closed.  
You sure?  
* * * "Bloody bastard, get your hands of her," Ron muttered under his breath, his hands forming into fists, and wanting so much to drive his fists into Malfoy's heart.or Hermione's.  
Having followed them into the Three Broomsticks, Ron had gotten a clear idea as to what Hermione's "flirting" had turned into. She had managed to seduce many guys under her spell, and yes, Ron knew exactly how that felt. What a bitch!  
But his thoughts were punctuated by a sudden noise to his left. Ron was standing behind Honeydukes, the favorite destination of snoggers everywhere. Naturally, Hermione and Malfoy were there, doing their little bit of kissing, but what Ron was looking at was way more than he had wanted to see.  
Hermione was moaning into Malfoy's mouth, and he had placed his thigh between her legs.  
I can't bloody take this anymore, he thought, backing away, searching for something else to look at. But everywhere he looked people were just kissing, and he was standing here, alone, amidst all of this, his head bulging, knowing he wouldn't be able to take this much longer.  
He ran out of the alleyway, not caring if he made too much noise, and didn't stop until he had reached the deserted Gryffindor common room. Only then did he tear off the Invisibility Cloak, his breath coming in odd gasps, his eyes tearing up, unable to bear the strain much longer.  
* * * "Oh, Harry! Look, there's a new shop!"  
"Let's go check it out, then."  
It was a gift shop, filled with little miscellaneous trinkets. Harry never knew Cho liked these kinds of shops. He, personally, never found these shops very interesting, but for the sake of Cho, he followed.  
But he soon changed his opinion of the store.  
Harry had never been in such a place. It was very brightly lit and apparently very popular with the students. It had, pretty much, a little bit of everything, and he felt like he needed about ten more eyes to fully explore. He found Cho by a case of moving glass figurines.  
"Oh, hey. I'm looking for a swan, my favorite animal. They don't seem to have one though."  
Harry peered through the glass, looking for anything that remotely resembled a swan. He saw a rabbit hopping up and down, sniffing through the grass, a dog running around, waving its tail expectantly, and here.was a stag. Harry watched it walk around for a little, thinking it looked a lot like his Patronus. Dad, he thought, wondering what his James would say if he ever knew his son's Patronus took the form of a stag.  
But there was the swan, lurking the corner.  
"Cho, it's over there."  
"Oh, let me see. Wow, it's so beautiful. Excuse me," she said to a rather short witch standing behind the counter, "could you take the swan out so I could look at it?"  
The witch mumbled something about her rheumatism and how she needed to quit her job, but nevertheless, she stooped down (thought with some difficulty) and retrieved it for Cho.  
"Harry, isn't it amazing?"  
He had to agree. The swan was very nimble, very pretty, much like Cho herself. While she was absorbed in checking if the swan had any flaws, Harry wandered about, looking to see if there was anything worth noticing. He sauntered into an aisle full music boxes, then something caught his eye.  
Checking to see if Cho was still immersed in the swan, Harry hurriedly walked over to another register, where he handed the witch his money.  
"Cho, are you done yet?"  
"Almost. Just waiting for her to package the swan."  
She seemed to catch the skeptical look in Harry's eyes.  
"You're probably thinking it's a waste of money, but I really love these little glass figures. Especially swans."  
"Here's change and such. Have a nice day," the witch behind the counter muttered tonelessly, handing Cho a small white box and a few Knuts.  
Harry thought she could have might as well said, "Now you have what you want, get the hell out of here."  
"Let me carry that for you," Harry said, carefully taking Cho's shopping bag from her hand, slipping his own purchase in.  
"Oh, you don't have to," she murmured, turning red.  
They strolled around for a little before finally sitting down on one of the benches lining the main street of Hogsmeade.  
"Could I have a look at the swan?" Cho asked.  
"Sure," he replied, handing her the bag.  
Cho looked through the bag, her expression one of confusion. She pulled a package that was much too large to hold a very small swan.  
"I didn't buy this," Cho said, fixing her eyes on Harry.  
"Well, that's because I did. Open it."  
"A present?" she asked quietly, still a little bewildered.  
"Yes. It's when someone buys something for another person," Harry replied in such a manner that would have made Celeste proud.  
Cho cautiously opened the white box, and it struck Harry how meticulously she could do something so trivial.  
"Oh, Harry."  
Words simply failed her. She reached in, and sitting upon her hand was a blue lacquered music box, a piano etched in gold on the cover, beneath that the words, "The intellect can err; the sentiment, never." She gently opened it and a gasp escaped her.  
The inside was lined entirely with black velvet, an oval mirror attached to the back of the cover. Harry could see the delight emanating from her eyes, her eyes so shining. A black grand piano stood in the middle of the box, so magnificently crafted, Harry could see every detail from the strings to the tiny, gold pedals. Harry, who had never held music in too high esteem, was very impressed with its quality.  
"Does this play music?" Cho whispered in awe.  
As if to answer her question, a person appeared in the music box from seemingly nowhere, bowed to Cho, and sat down at the piano and began playing. Then unexpectedly, Cho began to cry.  
"Um, Cho? Is there something wrong?" Harry asked, unsure if his gift had caused this sudden outbreak of tears.  
"No, no, not at all," she sniffled, trying to stop crying, but as the piano piece progressed, she only cried more. "B-but, how d-did you know I like the piano?"  
"I sent Celeste an owl, asking what you liked. She told me you love the piano. Uh, was she wrong? And you don't mind me doing that, right?"  
"No. I love the piano. I probably more than love it, just that they haven't come up with a word for that yet. I've always wanted to play it, b- but my parents said that I didn't deserve it."  
"Why is that?" Harry asked softly, feeling very concerned for Cho.  
"Well, see," she stuttered through her sobs, "I was suppose to be born a boy, but I-I wasn't, and, oh, and every single bloody time my parents look at me, all they're thinking is, 'Oh, this is the child who should have been a boy but wasn't. What a disappointment.' They - they've never let me do anything at home except for schoolwork. They've never let me fly with the other children - I live in an all-Wizarding neighborhood - but more than that I've always wanted to learn music. Piano. My neighbor played it, and I would always v-visit her house and listen to her play. So beautiful, I've never heard anything as beautiful. But she was almost eleven, almost time for her to go to H-Hogwarts. So I would only get to hear her play in the summer now. A-and, one day I asked my p-parents if I could l-learn, when I was only seven, and they told me, 'Maybe if you were different, Cho, we'd let you.' And you have no idea how much that hurt me, and I haven't and I'll never get over it.  
"So, o-one day, I asked another neighbor if I could have some of his Muggle money. He loves their money. Told him I'd trade him Wizarding money for it. I had been saving all of my allowance for this. I-I went to the store and I bought one of those Muggle things that play music. And a couple of - oh, what are they called? - CDs or something. Piano CDs. Thought that m-maybe if I couldn't play the piano, I could at least listen to it all the time, instead of waiting for my neighbor to c-come home. Hid all of it in my closet. O-over the years, I've gotten some m-more Muggle money and bought some more CDs, but it's not the s-same as actually seeing someone play. You don't get to see the hands run across the keyboard. That's the inspirational part. "And then you bought me this, and now I c-can watch someone really p-play, even if it's just in a box. And.and." Cho broke out in fresh sobs, the memory of her parents' disapproval cloaking her in melancholy, her face buried in her hands, but the tears splattering on the road. Harry couldn't remember feeling so sorry for anyone before. Cho, the once proud and sociable, was sitting next to him, alone, so pitiful, forlorn, drowned in the past, struggling to escape but her efforts of no avail. Harry had often received much sympathy for being an orphan and being raised by Muggles, but he thought that having your parents with you yet not being able to even live properly with them was much, much worse. And he couldn't do anything that would really, truly help. He was as helpless as she was, only in a different fashion. "Cho, I - I'm sorry," he said, biting his lower lip, placing his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. She lay there for a minute, resting her head, the sobbing somewhat departing. "No, you don't have to be sorry," she said, occasionally sniffing, looking down at her feet rather than Harry. "I should be sorry. You just tried to make me happy and all I can do is sit here and mope. I'm happy you bought it, it's the greatest thing anyone's ever given me, but.but along with it comes sadness, and - and I just need to overcome that. It's not your fault. The blame is entirely mine. I'm sorry." "Look, you don't have to - " he began, not wanting to see Cho force it all on herself. But she shook her head and Harry fell silent. Thus thirty minutes passed in silence. Neither of them said a word; there was no need to. As the sun dipped below the horizon, students passed them, and Harry knew it was time to leave. "Cho, I'll put this away for you, okay?" he asked tenderly, not really knowing if she wanted to be parted with her precious possession. Wordlessly, she handed Harry the music box and stood up, stretching. Then looking directly into Harry eyes, she took a deep breath. "Harry, I just want to thank you. I know it's not much, but my word of thanks is all I have with me. You've made today as special as it could have been, and if it wasn't for." "Look, it's over and forgotten," Harry insisted, smiling. "Oh, Harry, you're wonderful," she sighed, falling into him. He caught her in his arms as she latched her hands behind his neck. "Today was really great with you Cho." Their lips met, and though they kissed with none of the passion that had previously possessed them on prior occasions, it left a lingering feeling on Cho's lips long after the kiss had ended. Hand about her waist, Harry and Cho headed back up to Hogwarts in silence, the only sound the rustling of the shopping backs and the gusting wind. 


	5. Perfection

Chapter 5: Perfection  
  
Cho collapsed onto her bed, clutching onto her present, Celeste bouncing up and down on her own bed, which was to the right.  
"Harry must be so sweet," Celeste sighed, hands over her heart, "to have bought you that. Must had cost a lot since it's of really good quality."  
"Yeah. And, by the way, did he send you an owl, oh, some time ago?" Cho asked in a somewhat offhanded voice.  
"What? Offended by my talking to your boyfriend?"  
Cho smiled.  
"No, but what did you tell him?"  
"Oh, he just asked me what you liked, your hobbies, the like. Think he was looking for present ideas. And he bought a pretty nice one, too."  
"Yeah."  
Though Celeste obviously wanted to hear more of the date, Cho wasn't too keen in letting her know of her slight emotional collapse this innocent looking present had caused. Shameful, Cho thought, letting Harry see how weak you are, how you let your past get to you, crying in front of your own boyfriend, you imperfect little -  
Imperfection.  
The word echoed through her mind, though she tried her best to block it out, it felt like someone was just screaming it over and over again, forcing it down her throat. She was entering her own personal hell again, the hell where she was imperfect, where everyone told her she was imperfect, where she knew she was imperfect, through and through.  
"So, did you guys kiss?"  
"Yeah, but nothing you would enjoy," Cho said, winking.  
"No snogging behind Honeydukes?"  
"None, but I'm betting Hermione was there."  
Celeste was suddenly more interested.  
"She was at Hogsmeade? With who? Half the guys in the school?"  
"Just about, give or take a few. Her outfit was, well, interesting. There, we'll leave it at that, okay?"  
* * * "It was simply the most disgusting and nauseous thing I've ever seen. Ugh. I don't know how she can take snogging with a Slytherin. Mind you, you'd have to kill me before I'd kiss one."  
Harry was equally disgusted with what he heard of Hermione's behavior. Kissing was one thing, but with a Malfoy?  
"So," Harry began slowly, "are you going to, you know, confront Hermione with this?"  
"I - I don't know, maybe later."  
Ron was still suffering from his observation, and it pained him to see Hermione do this to herself. Every time he thought of it, his heart wrung with sadness and a new wave of hatred engulfed him. Hermione, his longtime love, now gone off to snog with some useless Slytherin. And a Malfoy!  
"So, um, how was your date with Cho?" Ron asked, not wanting to dwell on the subject of Hermione and Malfoy for much longer.  
"For the most part, it was pretty good. I got her this - "  
But then the image of Cho crying flickered in front of his eyes, the flowing tears, and he knew he just couldn't tell this to Ron. Harry had never known such problems to plague someone who seemed as perfect as Cho. The thought that there might be more something more to her than her spotless veneer had never occurred to him.  
"Got her what?"  
"No, er - nothing. Never mind."  
* * * Cho lay in bed, her eyes fixed on the ceiling, unable to sleep, while her fellow roommates were resting peacefully, their dreams pleasant. She had tried to play the piano music quietly, but soon after, Celeste had sat upright, eyes still shut, and muttered, "Time for class already?"  
So much for calming music to sooth her to sleep.  
So another night to face insomnia.  
Another night to be confronted by lurking thoughts.  
The memory of herself crying and losing her composure in front of Harry came to mind yet again. Cho buried her head in her pillow at the thought of it, totally mortified. How could you let that happen, you pathetic girl? How could you let him see you that way? Weak, hopeless, that's what you are, unable to control your own emotions to keep a straight face.  
I couldn't help it! I just happen to have those painful memories and -  
And what? Why did you just happen to start crying right there? How could you have been able to keep those oh-so-painful memories from leaking out before? Why now?  
It's because of Harry! Oh, he makes me feel so secure and free!  
Harry matters not in this issue. It's you that's under the speculation. If you could have kept your mask on none of this wouldn't have happened, and you wouldn't be wallowing in shame and self-pity -  
I am not wallowing in self-pity!  
Right, you're just thinking how incredibly stupid you are to have let that happen. You know that shouldn't have happened. It doesn't matter with whom you are, you are to keep your face straight.  
But I don't need to in front of Harry! He makes me feel so uninhibited! I can fly free when I'm around him.  
But you shouldn't. You should never let your guard down. Ever. That's they way it's been and that's the way it will always be.  
But Harry! Oh, just be quiet. I don't need you to tell me everything.  
Oh, yes, you do. Don't let some guy of yours trick you into thinking you don't need me. Admit it, you'd be hopelessly lost without anyone to guide you. You'd just be this stinking piece of filth, lying on your bed, sobbing your life away. Oh wait, you already are one.  
I would not! I'd have someone else! I don't need you!  
Now, don't deny what is right. You know that without me, you'd be more imperfect than you already are.  
I am not imperfect because if I am that strikingly flawed, no one would like me. And I do have friends. Celeste, Harry -  
One.two.that's a pathetic list. What happened to your social life?  
I don't need those people I used to call "friends."  
Or maybe you do, you imperfect -  
I AM NOT IMPERFECT!  
Then why those thoughts today, huh? Those nasty little thoughts that came to you in Hogsmeade. You know you aren't pretty or smart -  
Well, I'm smart and pretty enough for Harry, it seems.  
But did Harry really go out with you because of that? Your "personality"? Or was it because he just thinks, "Oh, look at Cho. This pathetic little girl who needs someone to help her through her own worthless life."  
No, no, that's not right, Harry likes me because I'm me, because I'm Cho.  
Eh, I wouldn't be too sure. Because if you really believed in what you were saying, you wouldn't be having all these doubts.  
"Shut up," Cho murmured, breaking free of the internal conflict that had been possessing her for as long as she could remember. That Other Voice, the one that always doubted her and her actions, the one that always emerged when she doubted herself and her actions. How she wanted to do away with It, but yes, she was eternally grateful to It for It had kept her from breaking down and crying in many other situations. But now, more than ever, she wanted to be rid of It, she wanted to be, well, herself, free and unhindered.  
Imperfect.  
Go away.  
You know you're imperfect, and you know you want to be perfect above everything.  
Sod off.  
No point in saying that. You know you want to be perfect, because you know that when you're perfect, you'll be smart, beautiful, everything you want to be. Perfection encompasses all of it. You know you want to be perfect.  
No, I-I don't.  
Don't deny this. Deny anything else, but not this. You know all you want is perfection.  
No, I don't.  
Tsk tsk, you know you want it.  
No, I don't.  
Perfection.  
"No, I don't," she muttered, feeling sleep pulling her away into nothingness.  
She was standing in the middle of a room, chains about her wrists and ankles. People were surrounding her on all sides, pointing at her, jeering, making cruel faces. Harry stood larger than the rest, pointing at her, sneering and yelling, "That's the Imperfect One!"  
"Hey, Cho, wake up."  
"Don't.don't say that about me."  
"CHO!"  
"What?"  
Cho rubbed her eyes, wondering how she was suddenly back in her bed, the girls' dormitory in the Ravenclaw Tower. Then she remembered it was merely a dream, nothing more. Just a dream. But thoughts of last night returned, the thoughts of being flawed, imperfect.  
"Get changed. The food's going to be all gone by the time we get down there."  
"No, it's okay, Celeste. Don't wait for me. I'll be down in a second."  
After giving Cho a very unconvinced look, she skipped out of the room, looking forward to a comforting, warm breakfast. Cho waved a hand in farewell, though her thoughts were everywhere but saying goodbye to Celeste.  
Maybe It's right, she thought, curling up underneath the covers. Maybe I am imperfect, and maybe I want to be perfect more than anything.  
You see? That's exactly right!  
Cho smiled slightly. It was the first time she could remember that It agreed with her. It gave her a slight burst of confidence, knowing she was at least backed in some form.  
But how to become perfect?  
Well, perfect in one area, then the other.  
True. That way I can stay focused.  
Very right.  
So, in which area would be easiest to perfect?  
I would think that would be obvious, Cho. Academics!  
Right, why didn't I think of that?  
You're pathetically stupid?  
Shut up. It wouldn't be impossible to be perfect that way, would it? I mean, I'm sure a lot of people already are.  
Like Hermione?  
Don't. Say. That. Name. I despise her.  
But she probably has perfect grades in all of her classes. She probably has had perfect grades all throughout Hogwarts. If a fifth year can do that, surely you can as well.  
Hmm, last year, Celeste -  
Why are you friends with her? She's imperfect as well. It must be contagious.  
Shut up, will you? She's my best friend.  
Well, suit yourself.  
Well, as I was saying, last year, Celeste and I pulled up our grades quite a bit, and I think if I did just a little bit more work, maybe everything will work out.  
Cho was quite pleased with herself, so she quickly changed into her robes and headed downstairs into the Great Hall. The chatter of students seemed so inviting and suddenly, the thoughts of imperfection disappeared, leaving Cho and only Cho, her life and only her life.  
"Anything good to eat?" Cho asked, not feeling too hungry.  
"Yeah. Everything! Okay, okay, um, the coffee's nice and fresh, if you'd like something to wake you up. Not like you really need any caffeine, no classes, it's a Sunday!"  
"But," Cho pointed out, remembering a certain conversation she had this morning, "we have our homework to complete. The Herbology essay is due tomorrow, and I'm only halfway done."  
"Damn!" Celeste yelled, throwing her fork down, attracting many stares. "I knew there was going to be something to ruin a day as perfect as this."  
Cho's stomach lurched, hearing the word "perfect". But at least I'm trying!  
Congrats. Just keep working. And don't slack off and become pathetic again.  
Oh, don't worry. I won't. I'll work harder than even last year.  
That's the spirit.  
* * * Harry thought Cho was unnaturally jumpy this morning, her eyes darting in random and unpredictable directions, food sometimes falling from her fork without her even noticing. Cho, who had always been so methodical, so focused, seemed disarrayed.  
Maybe it has something to do with what happened on our date, Harry thought, pondering her behavior. Ron, too, seemed preoccupied.  
"Mate, what's up?" Harry asked in what-would-be casual voice had he not been thinking of Cho.  
"Should I tell Hermione what I saw her do in Hogsmeade?" he spat bitterly.  
"Depends on what you want. I dunno, but maybe you should. Let her know what she's doing before something worse happens, if you know what I mean."  
"Maybe, but she'd deserve it."  
Harry was taken aback at the animosity he was showing towards Hermione.  
"But Ron, I thought you said you fancied her."  
"Harry, stop being such a dolt. Of course, I fancy her, but that doesn't stop me from being bloody ticked off at her."  
At this, Harry dropped the subject and hoped never to pick it up again.  
* * * "Cho, what's this? The tenth time you've revised the essay?"  
"It's got to be perfect," Cho said, scanning through her roll of parchment.  
"Well, it's absolutely perfect outside, and I really want to go!"  
"You can go yourself. I'll meet you there when I'm done."  
Celeste rolled her eyes, a sign that she was unbearably impatient.  
"If it wasn't for me telling you about outside, you'd think nothing in the world mattered more than this essay!"  
Cho ignored her friend's words, though she knew they were most likely true. But this essay does matter! If I can get a perfect grade, oh, what a sweet victory that would be! Then if I can just keep on getting perfect grades on all of my homework assignments and exams.I would have reached my goal!  
No, you wouldn't have, silly girl.  
What? What more do you want from me? No one can do more than perfection.  
I didn't mean that, you moron. There's more to life than academics, in case you've gotten too wrapped up in this essay already. You've got to work on your looks, your behavior, and the like. Not to mention you need to be able to maintain all of this at a perfect level, and if not, well, say goodbye to your quest for perfection.  
Hey, can't I just focus on this one essay at a time?  
No, you can't! Because if all you're focused on is this damn essay, you'll never be all-around perfect. You need to see the big picture.  
You're impossible.  
No, you're the one that's being impossible. You're letting yourself doubt again. Remember, perfect people are confident people.  
I'll work on the confidence issue later.  
You won't be able to avoid it.  
Sod off, already. I'm almost done with the essay -  
"Finished!" Cho proclaimed, cheerily rolling up the parchment.  
"Thank heavens, I was about to snatch that out of your hands and tear it up."  
"Well, if you did, I would never forgive you."  
"I'm sure you would, someday," Celeste teased. "Okay, now let's go! Time to savor the beauty of nature!"  
Beauty.  
That's right.  
That's what I'll have to work on, after I've mastered academics.  
Cho carefully placed her essay in her bag and headed out the door, eager to feel the sun beating down on her face. The two strolled down to the lake and sat down on the grass. Celeste produced from her bag some rolls she had taken from breakfast.  
"Fancy a snack, Cho?"  
"Sure," she replied, taking one of the rolls Celeste was holding.  
"Who're you looking for?"  
"Who do you think?"  
"Hmm, let's think about this," Celeste said in mock concentration. "Possibly Harry?"  
"Wow!" Cho said sarcastically. "I never thought you'd guess him."  
As if on cue, they were soon approached by Harry and Ron.  
"Mind if we join you two?" Harry asked, but sitting down next to Cho and putting an arm around her anyway, turning her a brilliant shade of red.  
"No, not at all," Celeste said, tossing her curly hair to one side. "Want something to eat?"  
Ron, who hadn't been able to pick anything up at breakfast let alone swallow, hungrily snatched the remaining rolls out of Celeste's grasp, frightening her slightly. It wasn't until he had finished the second did he offer Harry the last one.  
"You can it eat it all, don't worry, I'm not hungry," he said, looking at Cho, the two of them smiling.  
Neither of them said much for a bit, and Cho was merely looking at the clouds ambling down the avenue of blue, but their pleasant silence was cut by an arrogant, "You won't mind if we sit next to you?" from nearby.  
"Oh, it's you," Ron said, wrinkling his brow. "Malfoy."  
"Oh, do you have a problem with me sitting here with my girlfriend?" he asked sarcastically. "Well, I never would have noticed."  
Hermione giggled, and Harry painfully remembered that when Malfoy would make snide comments just as the one she just witnessed, she would usually do something in retaliation. But now.  
"No, I don't have a bloody problem with you sitting here with your bloody girlfriend," Ron muttered, equally sarcastic, placing careful emphasis on the word "girlfriend".  
"Why, are you jealous?"  
"No, why would I be?" he retorted, but his ears turned pink.  
"No reason. No reason at all."  
Hermione leaned in to give Malfoy a quick kiss on the cheek. Ron muttered something very obscene under his breath.  
"What was that you said, Ron?" Hermione snapped, the first time the two had spoken for a while.  
"Why, nothing," Ron said delicately, "except that you're a traitorous little whore, breaking hearts all through Hogwarts. Let's call Rita Skeeter, shall we?"  
"WHAT?"  
Hermione whipped out her wand, but Ron was ready, his wand clutched tightly.  
"You've really lost yourself this year, haven't you, Hermione?"  
"What d'you mean?"  
"Look at yourself. You've lost all of your real friends, you're flirting with just about all of the guys in the school, you're wearing these absolutely horrible clothes I've ever laid my eyes on, not to mention you're dating a Malfoy."  
"Ron, I'm not a slut, if that's what you're saying."  
"ARE YOU BLIND? YOU'RE GOING AGAINST EVERYTHING THAT YOU USED TO BELIEVE IN! YOU DON'T LIKE MALFOY, YOU ABSOLUTELY HATE HIM!"  
Hermione laughed, the last thing Harry thought would happen in a situation like this. He noted Cho was watching all of this with her mouth hanging slightly open, her hand barely having a grip on the roll.  
"Oh, Ron, I don't hate him. Maybe if you were more open-minded you'd see how mistaken you really are."  
"MAYBE IF YOU WERE JUST A TAD MORE OPEN-MINDED YOU'D SEE YOU'RE MAKING THE BIGGEST DAMN MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE!"  
"Now, Ron," Hermione said threateningly, finally showing signs of frustration, "you're being incredibly unreasonable - "  
"NO, I AM NOT YOU - BITCH!"  
The roll that had been struggling to escape Cho's hand had fallen to the grass, its owner quite oblivious to that happening. But Ron must care so much for Hermione, even though she doesn't deserve any love.why -I thought he'd never say that to her, she thought. Harry knew how much Ron must have gone through mentally to be able to direct that word to Hermione. Ron not only loathed her with all of his heart, but he also loved her and prized her above everything.  
For a moment, it seemed that Hermione's pompous expression twitched for an instant, as if she was going to cry. But then she remarked in a smug and almost carefree voice, "You didn't mean that, did you?"  
Cho held her breath. What would Ron say to that? She looked at Malfoy, who was acting like the hero of some great battle. Ron, who appeared to be ready to blow up the whole of Hogwarts and yet ready to sob at the same time.  
"No," he croaked hoarsely, looking down, wand hanging limply by his side, a defeated warrior covered in his own blood, "I couldn't ever really mean it, Hermione, because I love you, and I've loved you for so long, and I will always love you, even if you consider me rubbish. But you know what? I really hate you as well. I hate you when you've lost all sense as to who you really are. I know you can find yourself under all of that, but I'm not going to hang around and wait for you to do so. I've had way too much of you. Because when you're acting like this, I really hate you, so tell me when you've discovered where your heart truly lies."  
And with that, Ron took off, bounding across the grounds, scrambling up the stairs, and sped through the front door of Hogwarts.  
"Well," Malfoy drawled, looking back at Hermione, "that takes care of wittle wuve-sick Weasley."  
A bunch of Slytherins nearby rang out with laughter.  
"Yes, it did," Hermione replied, an odd and distant gleam in her eyes.  
"Shall we leave, then, darling?"  
"Of course," she replied in that same tone.  
Hermione set off after Malfoy, though at an uncharacteristically slow pace. Harry, Cho, and Celeste looked at each other skeptically, neither of them sure of what to do. Celeste seemed even more dazed that usual, gazing off into the distance.  
"So, Harry," Celeste said, the focused look coming back, "d'you think we could go up to the Gryffindor Tower and comfort Ron?"  
"Well, you two are Ravenclaws, um, don't know if you two can come." said Harry slowly, though he knew very well Cho and Celeste would be allowed in. Harry and Ron, in their second year, had snuck into the Slytherin common room, but then they had looked exactly like Slytherins due to the illegal Polyjuice Potion they had taken. Hermione was going to come as well, but she had used a cat hair instead of a human's, and that hadn't resulted in something pleasant.but Harry told himself not to think about her.  
"Oh, forget about the houses," Celeste said airily, waving a hand in impatience. "No one will see Cho and me, anyway. Most of the school is outside. Besides, Ron needs a little cheering up."  
"A Cheering Charm?" Cho suggested.  
"No. No magic."  
Wonder what Celeste's doing, Cho thought, marching back up the castle. After all, she was only recently acquainted with Ron.  
"Look, hide behind that statue so the Fat Lady won't see you," Harry told them as they neared the Gryffindor Tower. "Then after I tell her the password and the door opens, just dash in when she isn't looking."  
As they burst into the common room - no one speedier than Celeste - Cho suddenly halted, looking flabbergasted. Pages from various textbooks were flying across the room, and Ron was standing in the middle of all this, currently hurling An Intermediate's Guide to Transfiguration against the wall, many of the nearby portraits shrieking in terror.  
"Ron, what the blazes are you doing?" Harry yelled.  
"Getting rid of all my blasted books!"  
"Oh, for heaven's sake, Ron, you need these books, now STOP!" Cho screamed, trying to make herself heard above the rustling papers. "Impedimenta!"  
Ron (and the destroyed books) froze, a slightly surprised look residing on his face.  
"I'm so sorry, but I had to do that so you wouldn't ear up the common room. Please try not to get the wrong end of the stick," Cho said in a genuinely sympathetic voice. "Reparo!"  
The pages (frozen in midair) flew back to their rightful covers, and with a quick wave of her wand and a muttered, "Finite Incantem," Ron - who, too, was floating a bit off the ground - was freed by Celeste and fell to the floor.  
"Bloody hell, my knee," he groaned, rocking back and forth, hands clasped over it.  
"It's not broken, is it?" Cho asked, biting her lip.  
"Don't think so. And Harry, why are two Ravenclaws in the Gryffindor common room?"  
"You can ask Celeste," Harry said gently, backing away.  
Celeste walked over to Ron and took his hand. They went over by the fireplace.  
"We don't want to be overheard," Cho hear her mumble, and Cho hadn't the slightest clue as to what was happening. Is this her idea of "cheering up"? And why couldn't she just use a Cheering Charm? Was there something more to this making Ron feel better?  
Celeste muttered something, and a shimmering wall of, well, nothing appeared, enclosing her and Ron. Cho saw her lips move, but heard nothing.  
"Have any idea what she's doing?" Harry asked, rejoining Cho.  
"No. I guess this is what she's doing to supposedly make him feel better. I felt really bad for him, though, considering what Hermione did to him."  
"Yeah, well, I don't really want to talk about her," Harry said bitterly.  
"I can't understand why and how Ron can still remotely like her, after all she's done," Cho sighted, plopping down on the red sofa by where Celeste and Ron were deep in conversation. She noticed Ron looked a bit more cheerful. Huh, maybe what her friend was doing might actually work.  
"I guess his love is 'undying' and all the rest of that romantic crap," Harry shrugged, sitting down right next to Cho, pulling her closer. But she resisted for a moment.  
"It's not 'romantic crap'!" she replied, looking aghast. "I think it's really sweet of him to be so loyal, even if Hermione doesn't deserve it. It's not crap!"  
"Okay, okay," Harry quickly said, putting his hands up. "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you or anything. I just - well, couldn't think of a word and, I dunno, just used it, okay? No offense was intended for you or Ron."  
"Fine," Cho said, giving up all pretense of being very disappointed with Harry, leaning towards him.  
"What, have I mortally injured your soul?" he asked jestingly, running his hand through her hair, placing another on her hip.  
"Oh, yes, I am sure I shall never recover," she murmured softly in what would have been a sarcastic voice had it not been dripping in tenderness. She was eagerly anticipating the rush that had filled her on previous occasions, when Harry had her like this, the freefall back into bliss.  
"Well, that should be enough cheering up for now," came Celeste's bouncy voice, no longer carrying any of the seriousness Cho had seen her exhibit while talking to Ron.  
Suddenly, Harry's hands were behind his back. Oh, bugger, Cho thought.  
"Ron, you okay?" he asked.  
"I'm great!" he yelled, giving Celeste a hug, who was an unbelievable shade of red.  
"Well, I guess we better get going, you know, don't want to be caught here," Cho said quickly, gathering her possessions.  
After leaving the Gryffindor Tower ("You're not of my house!" the Fat Lady had shrieked, waving a fan after them), Cho faced her friend, looking very suspicious.  
"What was that for?"  
"Cho, you will find out in due time," she replied serenely, already setting off down the stairs.  
* * * "What did she tell you?" Harry asked after Cho and Celeste had left.  
"Can't tell."  
"Why not?"  
"'Cause I can't. Simple enough for you?"  
"Will I ever learn then?"  
"Yeah.you will.one day.but just wait."  
* * * The week came and went, and to Cho, without a trace. It was already Thursday, and time had never traveled this quickly. I suppose this is what happens when you invest all your energy into a single essay, she thought. But, reluctant as she was to admit it, the appeal of working so industriously was slowly fading. Even with It ranting about she was turning into a lazy ass, that fact soon became undeniable. Oh, whatever happened to those free days? Those free, unhindered, and uninhibited days? Had they just disappeared? Where were they? How could she find them? But they were gone, It had assured her. To be perfect is to relinquish freedom. But Cho wanted perfection so badly she was willing to forsake freedom.  
"I will now be handing back your essays," Professor Sprout announced, producing a basket overflowing with rolls of parchment.  
Cho was literally trembling with anxiety in her seat, and to her left, Celeste was slumping in her chair, throwing the occasional dirty look at Professor Sprout. This is it, Cho though excitedly. It's time to see if my work was worth anything!  
"Good Lord!" Celeste grumbled, glaring at her essay (full of cross outs, ink blotches, etc.). "That's another bloody D. How am I supposed to become a blasted Healer with these sort of grades?"  
"Perhaps you could work harder," Cho replied calmly, trying to suppress her euphoria at receiving an O. "There's still room for improvement. And, anyway, N.E.W.T.s aren't until seventh year - "  
"You're sounding like pre-bitch Hermione."  
"Well, I'm just telling you what would be most pragmatic to do at this point."  
Seeing the incredibly frustrated look on Celeste's face, and realizing she wasn't being too much of help, Cho tried to be a little more optimistic. "Still, it's only the end of September. Take it easy, relax, you know?"  
Privately, however, if anyone had told Cho to "take it easy" and "relax," she would have immediately erupted in protest and indignation.  
You little hypocrite you.  
Look, I know you're probably smirking, but what else was there to say? "Oh, Celeste, you're just such an idiot."  
Probably.  
I would never have told her that! She's my best friend -  
- and she means so much to me and that stuff. So, anyway, good job on the essay -  
I KNOW! I'M SO HAPPY!  
Amazing how one's mood can fluctuate, eh? And don't interrupt me. As I was about to say, don't rest on your laurels. You've still got the Transfiguration and Potions essays to consider.  
Oh! I completely forgot about those!  
It's because you've spent too much time on that little Herbology essay. You've never realized that there could possibly be another - gasp! - world or even other essays.  
Oh dear, what if I don't get an O on them both?  
Say tata to perfection. I thought that was obvious.  
"Class, you're dismissed."  
Cho grabbed her schoolbag and headed out the door, not bothering to wait for Celeste as was customary. I hate arguing with myself, she thought.  
"Hey, Cho! What's wrong?"  
"Oh, Harry," she sighed, falling into his warm embrace, "I'm so worried about my grades."  
"Are you failing?"  
"No, just.just the essay grades."  
"Hey, it's just a couple homework grades. I'm sure you've got the highest grade in your class and I'm even more sure that if you get T's, you'll still be the best."  
Cho looked up and saw that only sincerity and encouragement could be discerned from his eyes. Very honest sincerity and encouragement. And she felt, for a very brief moment, unchained again, freed of bondage. Unable to find suitable words for this feeling, she merely said, "Thank you," and savored the feeling of Harry's arms wrapped around her.  
"Hey, Cho, thought you said you weren't going out with Potter here."  
"Well, I wasn't when you first asked," Cho said, frowning and pulling away from Harry. "Therefore, I wasn't lying."  
"So, enjoying your little lip-locked embraces, dear?"  
"Yes, much more than I've ever enjoyed being around you."  
Caesar frowned as some people nearby became engulfed in giggles. He scowled at them, and the laughter immediately ceased.  
"So I see. Then how come I didn't see you two behind Honeydukes?"  
"Hmm," Cho said, assuming a face of concentration, "maybe we just didn't want to be seen? Did that ever occur to you?"  
"Well," Caesar mocked, "I would think that having such an attention- seeking boyfriend would lead you to a place like that."  
"Harry is not an attention-seeking prat, like The Daily Prophet keeps on saying!" Cho snapped.  
"Indeed," he drawled, walking away.  
"Oh, I absolutely hate him," she spat.  
"I've noticed."  
"Well, I've gotta go to class now. I'll see you around, I guess."  
Thus for the second time that day, Cho felt her nerves rise. Professor McGonagall strode around the room, passing back essays. She saw mixed reactions from the students. Some were looking very downtrodden (Was it a D? A T?), others somewhat relieved (An A? E? Possibly an O?), and there were a few that couldn't be deciphered at all, try as she might. Cho observed Celeste looked slightly more cheerful, and this raised her own feelings a bit. Looking back down at her desk, wondering when she would learn what her own grade was, Cho's eyes widened significantly.  
Written at the top of her essay was a red O.  
Happiness!  
* * * "Now you aren't even looking at her! Has your loved burned out?"  
"No," Ron remarked casually, flicking his wand in a feeble attempt to make his plate dance around in circles.  
"Does this have anything to do with Celeste? Do you fancy her now?"  
"Harry, you're hopeless," Ron chortled as Professor Flitwick summoned everyone's plates.  
Leaving Charms, a figure shot past Harry, making some funny noise. But then he saw the flying black hair.  
"Cho, HEY CHO!"  
* * * No, no, this is terrible!  
See, this is what happens when you slack off.  
An E! And I tried so hard on this Potions essay -  
No, you didn't! You did it the night before, Madame Procrastinator. You're not just lazy! You procrastinate as well! Vile combination, don't you think? Huh, and you're the one that wants to be perfect.  
Oh, you're right.  
I always am.  
I'm not perfect anymore.  
You never were, dear.  
With that, Cho broke into renewed sobs, banging on the bathroom stall door, sliding to the floor, unable to support her own weight. Her mind was devoid of all thoughts but one: The quest for perfection is over, and it has hardly even begun. She had tried to live a life of reason and rationality, but here she was, logic tossed aside, feeling only raw emotion tear at her, a helpless animal that lay dying.  
Well, wasn't like you were perfect before this all happened.  
I've failed!  
Yup. That's what happens to people who aren't perfect.  
What am I going to do now? Everything's damaged beyond hope. It's tarnished, torn!  
Hopeless. Positively hopeless. Well, first, you might want to reclaim a scrap of dignity before it sinks to the bottom of the sea along with your perfection. Quit your useless crying and wash your face.  
Sniffing, Cho righted herself and left the stall. Upon reaching the sink, she looked directly in front of her, the reflection red-faced, puffy- eyed, hair flying in every which way. Oh, what a fright I am, she thought. Though Cho had never prided herself on appearance, she knew (but would never outwardly acknowledge) that she had quite a few guys smitten with her looks. Back in her more popular days, she turned quite a couple heads, including that of Cedric's. Apparently, her silky locks and playful eyes had been a common target of the arrows of the dateless ones.  
But that had ended last year. After news of Cedric asking her out had circulated through the school, Cho had unknowingly alienated many of her companions (she ceased to call them "friends"), all who thought Cedric was exceptionally handsome. Only Celeste had stayed by her side. Celeste, who was loyal enough to qualify for the Hufflepuff house.  
Cho studied her complexion carefully. Her eyebrows formed two dark arches, cutting across her fair skin. From her eyes seemed to emanate a natural shadow, deemed by Celeste as "most becoming." The eyelashes seemed to curl slightly on their own, so Cho hardly ever found the need to perform an Eyelash Curling Charm. And the dark, soft eyes that seemed to enrapture all with its sparkling and dancing delight. Her lips were just right, and if they were not, then certainly her kissing abilities should more than compensate.  
Yet something didn't feel right. Just a minor tweak, maybe, but something.  
What was it?  
She couldn't exactly discern as to what was wrong.but it was something.  
But.  
Pig.  
.Pig?  
Your stomach, oh hopeless one.  
Cho ran to the mirror on the opposite side of the bathroom, where a very tall mirror was located. She hoisted up her robe, and looked at her stomach region. It gave a nasty lurch, and coupled with It's words, she was sure she'd pitch right into the mirror, shattering the glass.  
You're fat.  
I.I am?  
Well, yes. Look at those reserves. You could not eat for two months and still live!  
I could?  
Think camels.  
So I should go on a diet?  
Caught on fast, didn't you? This should be simple enough for you.  
But I can't just starve!  
What d'you think you should do, then? Indulge in a seven-course meal?  
Doesn't sound too bad, really, all the food -  
No willpower, that's you! Are you this stupid! Perfection could yet be retrieved. Though you failed in academics, surely you shall fare better in the department of appearance. Look, all of your physical traits are simply wonderful. It's just your weight you have to worry about. Nothing else!  
Hmm, you know, the way you put it, it sounds almost easy!  
Don't sound so optimistic quite yet. Even though it is a wonderful fortune for someone as lazy as you are not to have to worry about anything else, it is still hard work. You'll have to establish a strict regimen of food, you'll have to set goals, and most importantly, you have to be able to actually follow -  
- those goals and so forth. You know I can do that. Remember the O.W.L.s?  
Don't gloat. This is different from academics.  
Okay, thanks for the lecture. I'm hungry and I'm going to go straight down to the Great Hall to eat.  
You're already starting off on the wrong foot! You need to master the impulse of simply wanting to eat.  
Then what do you suggest I do?  
Skip dinner.  
WHAT? I can't just skip a meal!  
Why not? You want to be perfect, don't you?  
For a split second, Cho was halted at a mental crossroad. To her left was the well-trodden path, the path of least resistance, and to her right rose a steep and treacherous path where hardly a traveler had gone. I could simply go down to dinner, she thought, and give up on this whole attaining perfection thing. Or I could traverse the much more challenging path, the one that would lead to what I want the most -  
- which is perfection. See, there you have it!  
And once I'm perfect, it'll show my parents that I'm just as good as any son they would have had, and it'll show Harry that I am good enough company, even for him.  
Cho suddenly remembered her brief fascination for Muggle poetry. There had been two poems that had touched her deeper than any others, and, to this day, still held a source of intrigue. One was W.B. Yeats' "The Stolen Child," a poem Cho thought symbolized her life impeccably. The other was "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. It was the latter, however, that called to her. Though she hadn't thought of the poem for years now, she could still remember the last stanza: "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." Yes, that was how it went, right? Yes, that has to be right! I should take the "one less traveled by" - meaning the road to perfection and skipping dinner - and that will make "all the difference"!  
Too true, too true. Now get back to the common room. Oh, and don't forget! Even if you can't possibly be perfect in school, keep up your grades.  
Don't bother me with such petty issues; of course I know that! Cho ran out of the bathroom, passing the Great Hall (Oh, the wafting smells and the sumptuous food! How could I ever renounce you?), and flopped on her bed. Okay, tell me what I need to do.  
Well, you clearly can't just starve yourself. Gradually, that's how it'll work. So, breakfast: No more than five ounces of cottage cheese.  
Merlin's beard! You expect me to live off that?  
Yes, I do. Lunch, then: Small salad, no dressing. For dinner.actually, don't eat anything for dinner. And drink nothing but water.  
You're bloody mad, I swear. How am I supposed to go without dinner every single day?  
Habit, my dear. And aside from your incessant complaining, you still have to set your goal. How much weight do you want to lose?  
Well, I'm 115 pounds.does 105 sound reasonable?  
Sure, why not? So, I wish you good luck.  
And with It's departure, Cho felt a sense of hollowness, and it wasn't completely due to the fact she hadn't eaten anything since midday. She thought she would feel satisfied, knowing she had accomplished something after failing so miserably, but she only felt empty. Her ears were full of an odd buzzing sound; she was staring up at the canopy of her bed blankly. 105, that's all, she reassured herself. Should be a hell of a lot easier than trying to get Os on everything.  
A sudden wave of hunger washed over her, drenching her with dread, the tempest brewing in her stomach, and something deep inside her, completely separate from It, told her this wouldn't be easy.  
Her stomach lurched again.  
Oh no.  
This definitely wouldn't be easy. 


	6. Celeste's Plan

Chapter 6: Celeste's Plan  
  
"Where were you?"  
"I just didn't go to dinner, that's all," Cho said, wishing Celeste could just let her be.  
"Why? It's not like you to miss anything, meals included."  
"Well."  
There's nothing wrong with going on a diet, right? I can't really hide that truth away from her.  
"Well what?" Celeste asked.  
"I'm going on a diet."  
Silence followed those words. Cho looked up at her friend, who looked a bit unconvinced. It's true though, she thought. I just can't tell her the reason behind it. Oh, how people would laugh at me if they found out.  
"You don't need to go on a diet," Celeste said slowly. "You're already perfect."  
Eh, if only.  
"No, I'm not!" Cho said, looking horrified. "See this?" She pointed at her stomach. "Look at it. I could not eat for months and still survive."  
"Cho, relax. You're not going to die if you don't have a concave belly. I just don't want to you hurt yourself, that's all."  
"It's not like I'm going to starve myself," she spat.  
"Okay, I get it!"  
Celeste stormed away, her back turned, and Cho had a nasty feeling that she had just alienated the one person that had supported her for as long as she could remember.  
Thankfully, for Cho, that didn't exactly happen. Though Celeste did not entirely stop speaking to her, she acted very distant around Cho. However, Cho was much too busy to notice this. In fact, she was too busy to notice anything besides hunger and schoolwork. The diet had taken a toll on her concentration and attention span. Hunger struck at every available moment, the stinging hollowness that caused her to double over and think to herself, "Am I doing the right thing?" With every doubt came lashing words from It, who would ridicule her for her weakness, her inability to control the desire to eat, calling her gluttonous and fat. Thus there were two pains: one originating from her abdomen, the other from deep inside of her, both threatening to tear her heart out.  
Nevertheless, the diet had proved to be useful. As the end of October neared, she had already lost three pounds, and while it wasn't much, to Cho, it felt like it was worth more than all the O.W.L.s she had received. She proved to herself and to It she could do achieve something completely on her own without the assistance of another. Seven pounds away, she told herself.  
Cho had even found a method of partially overcoming the stabbing ache hunger brought. While researching for a Potions assignment, she had found a book in the library (Olde and Useful Potions) that was nearly impossible to understand (Was the book 400 or 500 years old?) unless she devoted all of her attention to it. Realizing this could easily divert her attention from hunger, she checked it out and read it whenever the pains worsened. But all in all, she had more or less gotten acquainted with the feeling of being constantly famished. Cho had even been able to avoid the delectable scents that floated to her during meals. Since she didn't have much to eat anyway, she would simply take her food and eat it in the girls' dormitory. This wasn't strange practice. Many people had taken to doing so, especially the N.E.W.T. students, now that the workload was increasing.  
Cho couldn't remember feeling happier.but it was a shallow sort of happiness, really. Could it even be classified as happiness? The only place she had ever found true happiness was with Harry, and when she had told him about the diet, he didn't look too pleased. Am I doing the right thing?  
* * * Hermione looked at her toast and decided she wasn't hungry. After all, she had eaten the chocolate Draco had sent her before breakfast. Putting down her napkin and standing up, ready to leave, she did not notice the owl in front of her.  
"Hermione, you've got an owl," Lavender Brown pointed out.  
"Oh!"  
She reached for the roll of parchment at once. She didn't get much mail, only The Daily Prophet. The letter was from Draco and she devoured it hungrily.  
  
Dearest Hermione,  
In case you've been to wrapped up in your schoolbooks to notice, Halloween is in three days and classes are cancelled that day for a Hogsmeade trip. I was wondering if you'd like to come with me.  
You might be thinking why I didn't just ask you this in person. Well, there's something we need to discuss and I wouldn't want to embarrass you by telling you what I'm about to say out loud.  
I've noticed you've been avoiding me lately and looking at certain redhead instead. Do I have to remind you again of what we agreed to yet again? I'd think that someone as dedicated as you are would remember. Or, maybe, we could call this whole thing off, and I could do what I've been wanting to do for a while now. I'm sure you don't want that to happen.  
  
Yours truly,  
  
Draco  
  
Oh, the bastard! He wouldn't possibly tell.right? Oh, he can't! If he does, I don't know how I'll be able to face anyone again! I've got to regain his affections now.before.Hermione fumbled in her bag for a quill, and quickly scribbled a reply.  
  
Yes, I'll go to Hogsmeade with you. Don't forget, I still love you.  
  
Hermione, what are you doing?  
* * * "Are you still doing the whole diet thing?" Harry asked, walking around the Room of Requirement. This morning, he had asked Dobby where he could find a room where two people could meet and talk undisturbed. Dobby had told him about this room, the Room of Requirement, and Harry had brought Cho here. He needed to tell her something very important.  
"Yes."  
"And remind me again why you are?"  
"Because I'm fat and I need to lose some weight," Cho said, sounding as if she was reciting something.  
"Darling, you aren't fat and you don't need to lose any weight," Harry sighed, sitting down next to her. "You are absolutely wonderful just the way you are and I don't see the point behind starving yourself."  
"I'm not starving myself, Harry. I'm still eating - "  
"Yes, but hardly," he persisted. Cho's going to kill herself this way, he thought. If only she'd listen. Are all girls this stubborn? I know Hermione is.no, don't think about her. "You aren't eating enough."  
"I'm eating enough to live, that's pretty obvious. And why do you care?"  
"Because I care for you," he said softly, titling her face up.  
Oh, Harry, why am I doing this? How can I be giving up food and you and Celeste just for something that's completely unattainable?  
It's not unattainable! Only the lazy and weak think that!  
Can't I just stop?  
No! And don't you dare let Harry in the way of your quest for perfection! Don't let anything get in the way!  
"Harry," she said in a much kinder voice, "I'll be fine, really, I promise."  
But he didn't look too convinced.  
"Harry - "  
"Look, just stop it, okay?"  
He stood up and started for the door, Cho's gaze following him. He's leaving? Oh, damn, what have I done? I'm such an idiot!  
"Harry, I'm sorry!"  
Don't cry.  
Cho's vision blurred.Harry was but a blob now.she felt something slide down her face.pearls of misery.  
What the devil are you doing?  
I.I don't -  
Stop it! Now!  
Can't.Harry, please.  
"Cho, what's wrong?"  
He was cradling her in his arms, she sobbing violently into his shoulder. Cho wanted to tell it all to Harry, of how she wanted to be perfect, to be accepted by Harry as adequate company, to actually be worth something. But she knew not to say anything. Better to mislead Harry then to let him learn how insecure she was.  
"Cho?"  
She could only mutter, "I'm sorry," before being subjected to another round of verbal beatings by It.  
"There's a Hogsmeade visit on Halloween. Wanna go?"  
"Um, sure," she sniffed through the departing tears. "I have to get a dress for the ball, anyway."  
"The ball?"  
"You know, the Christmas Ball. Dumbledore mentioned it at the beginning of the year. If I had known we'd be having them, I could have brought a dress, I have a million at home."  
"Why get a dress this early though?"  
"Because soon everyone's going to be swarming into Gladrags Wizardwear, and then all the good dresses will be taken."  
Harry, who didn't quite comprehend the connection between girls and clothing, merely replied with silence.  
"But I'll still spend time with you, in case you're wondering," she added. "You'll just have to put up with me spending about two hours in Gladrags, okay?"  
As the couple sat there, Cho's tears abated. But her melancholy had been replaced not with comfort (though it was undeniable the most comfortable place in the world was in Harry's arms), but something else.almost like dread mingled with fear.  
* * * Gladrags always amazed Cho. Though she had been going there for as long as she could remember, the sight of so many racks of clothing always inspired her, that something like a shop could expand to such a size.  
She dashed into the store, leaving a wide-eyed Harry (arms already laden with shopping bags from Honeydukes - as if Cho was actually going to eat the candy) to follow her. As far as he was concerned, he had never seen a larger store. She marched right up to the witch standing behind the counter and asked where the dresses section was. The witch pointed to the left and Cho hurried off in that direction. Harry slowly followed.  
I've got to find the perfect dress, she thought, but there are so many to choose from. Let's see, there's that red one - too revealing, not to mention expensive. This one's nice, but I'd look terrible in that color. Umm.ugh! That one's ugly, not getting it. C'mon, there's bound to be one here.wow! Look at this one!  
Cho reached out for a midnight blue-colored strapless dress. It was made of some silky material and the dress was pretty full, trailing a bit in the back. Just right, she thought, simple yet elegant, but there's something missing.a robe? She placed the dress over her arm and walked over to the rack of dress robes. I need something that's this same exact color and material.this doesn't look too bad.  
She looked carefully at her selections. She hadn't expected to be finished this early, but would these fit? They did seem awfully narrow about the waist. Well, let's try these on then.  
"Done!" she exclaimed jubilantly to Harry as they left the shop, hand in hand.  
"I thought you said it would take 'two hours'."  
"Yeah, well, I found what I was looking for pretty fast."  
Harry felt pretty good. This was the happiest he had seen Cho in quite a bit and it made him feel much better knowing she was content.  
"Can I look?" he asked jokingly, craning his neck to peer into the bag.  
"No way! You've got to wait until Christmas, Harry!"  
Harry started to tickle her, and though she continually protested with a "Stop it!" she laughed until tears of mirth formed in her eyes. She wanted him to keep doing this as she hadn't felt so exhilarated since.well, she couldn't remember, but that was beside the point. She wanted to release everything that was pent up in her soul - joy, sorrow, pain, pleasure, just to let it all go.  
But then he stopped and directed her gaze to a sidewalk café across the street. It was a quaint little place, a little out of place due to the fact huge shops surrounded it. It had been a favorite destination of Cho and Celeste, prior to either of them having boyfriends.  
"It's Hermione," he whispered as if Hermione could hear him.  
Cho's laughter ceased to be, as she looked Hermione. The sight struck her as strange. There was only one person around her: Malfoy. To her surprise, however, they weren't snogging. Hermione looked furious enough about something to be red in the face and Draco appeared more supercilious than ever. What was going on?  
"Think they had a row?" she asked.  
"Maybe. With Hermione now, you never know."  
"Well, whatever's happening, Malfoy seems pretty pleased with it. Hermione looks like she got a D on her essay."  
"Yeah, they don't seem like much of a happy little couple at the moment," Harry said. "I think I'll tell Ron this," he added with relish.  
"It might cheer him up," Cho said slowly, "but I have a feeling he won't care."  
"What? Ron not caring about Hermione?"  
"You saw him after he was done talking to Celeste."  
"So you think he fancies Celeste?"  
"Probably."  
"Well, I already asked him that. He still likes Hermione for some reason."  
"This is unbelievable!" Cho yelled, going completely off tangent. "Look at them!"  
Hermione and Malfoy were now kissing over the table, the flush in her cheeks now gone.  
"Blimey," Harry muttered. "One minute they're tearing at each other's throats and the next snogging in full view."  
"I don't get it either. But, um, want to go back to the castle? We're going to be late for the feast otherwise."  
Right, like I'm even going to go.  
* * * "Come on, Cho. Can't you even go to the feast? It's bloody Halloween! You have to go! You can't miss this!"  
"I told you, I'm not going," Cho said calmly, though inside she was fuming. Why does everyone care? I'm not mortally wounded, I'm not dying, why can't they just leave me alone?  
"IT'S BLOODY HALLOWEEN!" Celeste screamed from across the room, her hands balled up into fists. "NOW YOU ARE COMING DOWN THE FEAST RIGHT BLOOODY NOW OR I'LL CURSE YOU!"  
"Don't bother getting worked up, just go down to the sodding feast yourself," Cho said, staring intently ahead at Olde and Useful Potions.  
"NO, I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU COME WITH ME! Dammit, I wish knew the Imperius Curse!"  
"Celeste, just go by yourself, okay?"  
"You know what?" she said menacingly. "I think your 'diet' is going too far. I appreciate your wanting to look great and all; you're pushing the limits here. You haven't eaten a decent meal in forever, can't you just have one?"  
One decent meal.Cho had almost forgotten what a "decent meal" tasted like. The blend of rich flavors had all but left her memory, and she inwardly cursed Celeste for bringing it back. Oh, how could I renounce it all? Just let me have one more meal. It can't hurt, can it?  
You're going to ruin it.don't you dare go.  
"I.I can't go, okay?"  
Celeste rolled her eyes.  
"Hey, I'm hungry - " (Cho's stomach gave an audible growl) " - and I'm going down to the Great Hall. I'm not going to waste my time trying to convince you to come, 'cause obviously you're just being stupid and stubborn."  
"I - "  
Cho opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Celeste was gone, and Cho was the cause of it all. Celeste? Oh, what am I doing? Perfection, perfection! This is all going to cost me my friends!  
Yeah, whatever you have left of your friends.  
Oh, I want to stop this all! I want to end it!  
Why? You've made such progress. You've even managed to buy a dress for the ball you know you wouldn't have fit into a couple months ago.  
Cho sniffed, trying to keep tears from falling again. It spoke the truth. She had made progress, and she simply couldn't give up now. Hadn't that been what she had preached herself everyday? Persistence, determination, without those cornerstones her life would be more worthless than it already was.  
But was there a limit to these virtues?  
Could I have been too persistent and too determined? So much that I've pushed myself away from Harry and Celeste, the two people who matter most to me?  
Don't worry about them. Just think: perfection! Once you have that, you can have all the friends you want.  
But I just want to be accepted without having to be all superficial and popular again.  
* * *  
And in no time at all, Hogwarts was layered with a light sprinkling of snow. Students went to bed that night, only to wake up to more of it descending from the sky, making Hogwarts look very picturesque. Not only were snowflakes flying about though. Rumors about the Christmas Ball flared up almost overnight: who's going with who and who's wearing what, as well as what Dumbledore had planned for the event.  
Cho's continual absence from the Great Hall during meal times made her more talked about than usual, and while she was quite used to people gossiping about her, this time, it bothered her more. Why can't they just shut up and leave me alone, she though bitterly on the last day of class before the holiday began.  
The school was still very crowded, even after those who were going to depart had left. Virtually all fifth, sixth, and seventh years remained as well as younger students, who were eager to join in on all the excitement.  
Cho had not talked to Celeste for weeks now, the last time being when Celeste had asked her for a watering pail in Herbology. While this lack of communication troubled Cho (she could not remember the last time such a huge rift had developed between her and her friend), she hadn't much time to dwell on it. Only a week before Christmas Cho had achieved her goal of 105, and that, she thought, was the best present she had ever received  
It had asked her to set a new goal, but after much pleading, It had finally given away to Cho's wishes. For once, she wanted to relax during the holidays, and watching one's weight is definitely not the correct way to go around doing that. It had reminded her to continue the diet, and to this, Cho had complied, albeit slightly reluctantly. Her Honeydukes bags sat by her bed, where she could look at them and think of the pure joy something as simple as chocolate could bring.  
"So, um, Celeste?" Cho asked meekly the night before the ball.  
"Yeah?" Celeste did not look up from the letter she was writing.  
"Are you going to the ball with anyone?"  
"Why do you ask?"  
"Well, it's because - so far - nothing's happened between you and Ron since you went and cheered him up. Did what you said to him have to do with the ball?"  
The scratching of the quill paused.  
"It might," Celeste said after a while. She went back to her writing. "Why do you ask?" she repeated.  
"Because I care about Ron, too, in case you don't know," Cho said bitterly, angered her friend refused to tell her anything.  
"No, you don't. You don't care about anything else or anyone else other than your bloody diet and yourself."  
What? What does she mean I don't care about anything other than myself? I care for her, for Harry, for Ron, don't I?  
"Celeste, I - "  
"Tell me, Cho, is it that hard just to say sorry and admit you were wrong?"  
What? Is that all Celeste had wanted? A simple "I'm sorry"? Oh, I really don't understand people, do I? Not even my best friend? Can't I just tell her what I'm doing?  
"Celeste, I'm really sorry," Cho mumbled, looking down at her feet, eyes tearing up. Dammit, why do I always have to cry?  
* * * Celeste looked at her friend, looking so pitiful. As much as she was irritated with Cho and her selfish behavior (What had gotten into her? Cho used to be so selfless and now - ?), she bit her lip and it pained her to see Cho like this. After all, they had been such good friends.  
.It was almost like yesterday, really. It was during their first Transfiguration class, and they both had performed so spectacularly horrible Professor McGonagall asked them if they could stay after class to work a little more. A third year class filed in with Celeste and Cho waiting anxiously in the back. McGonagall was giving a lesson on Animagi, and, to the class's great amusement, she transformed into a cat and back. Before the class could react, a tiny giggle escaped Cho. Celeste looked at her for a second and then burst into a fit of laughter, confirming to many of the third years they were mental. After receiving a little extra help and a stern lecture, they left the classroom and both fell to the ground, giggling.  
Celeste smiled slightly. Oh, how far they had come since then.  
* * * "Cho, it's okay," Celeste said softly, reaching down to hug her best friend, feeling the tears brush past her. "Just tell me what's wrong, okay?"  
I've got to. I can't just keep something this big hidden. Cho took a deep breath and began explaining about her jealousy for Hermione, how incredibly inadequate she felt around Harry, but nothing on her search for perfection. She did say she went on a diet so she would feel more comfortable around Harry and his friends, however.  
Cho waited anxiously for Celeste's reaction. She had spent the last twenty minutes ranting, and thought she sounded a little insane.  
"Well, that's just silly," Celeste said.  
Cho gaped. What?  
"This whole 'Harry's not going to like me 'cause I'm fat' attitude. Two flaws, girl. Firstly, you're not fat. Secondly, Harry would like you even if you were fat, which you aren't. So, I understand how you've been feeling, but can't you just drop the damn diet? It's so stupid and pointless and I don't see why you're doing it anyway."  
Dammit, maybe I should have told her about - No, I won't. C'mon, think of something, genius.  
"So, have you gotten a dress yet?" Celeste suddenly asked. Cho breathed a sigh of relief.  
"Yeah, I got it back in October."  
"Damn! That's early! Huh, no wonder you didn't go to the most recent Hogsmeade trip - " (I was doing stuff with Harry, Cho thought slyly) " - because I was looking for you there. Thought you might be able to give me a little advice as to what dress to wear, but, oh well."  
"So, are you going to the ball with Ron?"  
Cho wouldn't let her leave without knowing this. Celeste paused to think. Well, she did tell me what was wrong with her. Guess it wouldn't hurt to reveal my plan.  
"Yeah, I am going with him, but not because I fancy him. I mean, I like him, but just as a friend, you know? Well, I think it's kind of obvious Hermione likes Ron, just a little, if anything, and all we've got to do is make her jealous."  
"What?"  
"Trust me, no one in their right mind would go out with Draco Malfoy, so there's probably something going on behind the scenes we aren't aware of. All we have to do is make Hermione jealous of Ron, jealous enough to break up with Draco, then she'll yell at me for stealing her longtime crush, and curse me or whatever the hell she wants to do. Then Ron's going to say that I was just this huge distraction, 'break up' with me, then hook up with Hermione."  
"And tell me," Cho said, thinking Celeste was just too smart, "how exactly are you going to make Ron jealous?"  
"Well, you know, dancing, flirting, snogging, that stuff."  
"I see," Cho said.  
"What, you don't like it? Do you think it'll work?"  
"I totally love the plan. I know I'd never be able to think of that. As for it actually succeeding, you're really going to have to try hard."  
"I don't think so, though. I'm gonna have to try, make it seem really, obviously, but I think Hermione's affections for dearest Draco are waning. You saw them."  
"And - " A slightly glazed look went over Cho's face.  
She swore she remembered seeing the two of them together.somewhere. But where was it?  
"And what?"  
"Nothing, it's just - just I thought I saw Hermione and Malfoy together.somewhere - but I can't remember!"  
"Behind Honeydukes?"  
"That's right!"  
"Really?"  
"No, I saw them at Hogsmeade near Halloween!" It was all coming back to her, the sight that had her utterly perplexed. "Harry and I were leaving Gladrags and.and we saw them at this little café, the one where we used to go to together."  
"Ah, that place, I remember!"  
"It was really weird. They both looked like they just had a row. Hermione looked really angry, but Malfoy wasn't. Then the next second they're kissing."  
"Like I said, her affections are waning. I don't think she really likes him."  
It wasn't until past midnight did they stop discussing Hermione, Malfoy, and Celeste's plan. Meanwhile, Cho promised herself she would try to be a better friend to not just Celeste, but everyone else. 


	7. The Christmas Ball

Chapter 7: The Christmas Ball  
  
After a rushed dinner, Celeste headed back up to the Ravenclaw Tower, where Cho was waiting for her in the dormitory.  
"Hey, I'm ba - WHOA! That is one hell of a dress!" Celeste exclaimed, eyes popping.  
"Does it look okay?" Cho asked, turning her head to examine the back.  
"Hell yeah! It's bloody awesome! Damn, even Hermione'll have a hard time looking as good as that."  
Celeste was now walking around Cho, inspecting every detail of the dress and robe, occasionally pointing and muttering to herself. Cho felt exactly like a show dog, revolving slowly.  
"Well?" she asked Celeste.  
"Just wondering.how you fit into that. It's awfully narrow about the waist."  
Cho's heart leapt forward. If what Celeste said was true.then.the diet worked! The hunger, the pain, it had all succeeded. Did it matter what Celeste and Harry thought as long as something became of my work and dedication, Cho thought, bubbling over with happiness. It's worked.it was all worth it.  
"So, what do you think?"  
Cho turned around, gazing at her friend. She was donning a dress of dark green, a color she thought went very well with Celeste's light brown and springy curls. Ron should be pleased, Cho thought.  
"It looks great. It think that was one of the dresses I considered buying - you got it at Gladrags, right?"  
"Yeah, it was one of the last ones left."  
Cho checked the clock in the dormitory, and with a sudden jolt, she realized she was late.  
"Oh, damn! I was supposed to meet Harry ten minutes ago! How could I have forgotten?"  
Celeste looked slightly puzzled for a moment before glancing up at the clock.  
"Shit! I'm late too!"  
"WHAT?"  
"I'm going with Ron, you knew that. I was supposed to meet him at seven."  
"Me too, but with Harry obviously."  
"THEN WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?"  
As the two sprinted out of the Ravenclaw Tower as fast as their dresses would allow them, Celeste was waving her wand madly at her hair, attempting to put it up in some style. She probably could have done it had she not been hurtling down the stairs at around a hundred miles per hour. Cho would have tried to do the exact same thing had she not seen Celeste poke herself in the eye first. Better to have slightly disheveled hair than a swollen eye, she thought sardonically. However, Cho had already gotten on her makeup and her hair, though it could have used a little more work, was acceptable enough.  
"Nearly - there - dammit," Celeste panted, finally getting her hair to stay, only to see it fall apart again.  
* * * "So that's what you and her were talking about then."  
While waiting anxiously for his now-tardy date, Harry had finally managed to worm out of Ron with whom he was going to ball and Celeste's plan.  
"You think it's going to work?" Ron asked, who was already sweating slightly and tugging at his collar.  
"'Course it will. She's a Ravenclaw, isn't she?"  
Ron said no more and instead diverted his glance over at Hermione, who was chatting lively with Malfoy. If this works, he thought, if this mad idea actually works, she might be mine before midnight, and little Draco'll be dancing by himself.  
"Hey, look, there she is," Harry muttered.  
Whipping around, Ron found a very breathless Celeste in front of him.  
"Er - hey," he said, turning red.  
"Sorry about being late. Cho and I sort of lost track of time," she managed to say between huge gulps of air.  
"S'okay."  
"So, uh, where's Cho?" Harry interjected, trying to hide the fact his heart was now beating uncomfortably fast.  
"She's still somewhere upstairs, fixing her hair 'cause she thinks she looks like a hag."  
Harry highly doubted she looked like a hag.  
* * * Fearing her wand was about to soar out of her hand she was waving it that fast, Cho was rearranging her hair at a speed that would have impressed even Celeste. She quickly Summoned a small mirror from her room, amazed the glass didn't crack, and studied herself. Though there were bright pink patches from running quite a distance, she thought she looked fine. After Banishing it back, she walked to the staircase and looked down.  
Even after living through the Yule Ball, it was still quite a sight, seeing such a riot of color when her eyes were accustomed to the everyday black-colored robes. She spotted Celeste, standing with Ron (who looked as if he was about to retch) and next to them was.  
Cho gulped, feeling a pang of nervousness.  
Here goes.  
* * * Harry watched silently as Cho glided down the staircase, one had perched upon the railing, an angel floating down from above, descending on the pitiful mortal word.  
He had never seen anyone as beautiful and graceful. Her dress and robe seemed to be made of a very flowing material, and the dark blue was most complementary. The robe came together at a point near her waist (Had she always been that slim around the waist? And if so, why hadn't he noticed it before?) and then spread out from there.the dress billowed out, trailing slightly behind her.Harry didn't know when he'd seen anything that'd looked less like a hag.  
"Hi, Harry," she said softly as she came near. "Sorry for being so late. I had to fix my hair and."  
She stopped. Harry was looking at her with a rather dazed look, his eyes glazing over. Sadly, Cho was unaware of the intoxicating effect she was having on Harry.  
"Harry?"  
"Yeah?" he said, snapping out of his reverie.  
"Should we go?" Cho indicated the departing couples. She was glad to see, though, that Ron and Celeste were still here.  
"Okay then."  
He took her arm and they began walking away. Ron and Celeste soon followed.  
"So, what's up?" Harry asked, wishing he could find something more interesting to say. He was finding Ron's constant (and uninhibited) chatter behind him incredibly irritating.  
"Well, yesterday, I got this long lecture from Davies - you know, Quidditch captain. Said I'd be kicked off the team if I didn't improve. Well, it's not my fault our Beaters can't tell the difference between blue and yellow," she said, scowling.  
Though he hadn't been at the Quidditch match (he had been slaving over Snape's latest piece of homework), he had heard bits of what happened. The two Ravenclaw Beaters, recently acquired, had sent a Bludger flying in the direction of Cho's head just as she was about to grab the Snitch. Not wanting to sustain a major concussion, she had veered out of the way, and when she turned around half-falling off her broom, the Hufflepuff Seeker had captured the Snitch.  
"Think they're colorblind?" Harry asked.  
"No, more like they're stupid and they can't aim properly. So how did your match against Slytherin go? Sorry I didn't go. I was slaving over Snape's latest piece of homework."  
Talk of Quidditch sustained them until they had reached a room Harry, despite being in his fifth year, had never seen before. It was near the nurse's office, and despite having been in this corridor many times, he had never noticed this room. It was rectangular and very long; he could hardly see the other side of the room. From the ceiling hung red and green baubles, strands of garland, mistletoe, and twinkling lights (which probably weren't lights at all, Harry reminded himself). Christmas trees were placed at the four corners of the room, all glittering with such splendor. Even after four years at Hogwarts, the decorations left him speechless. From next to him, he felt Cho cling tighter to him and heard a sharp intake of breath.  
"If you could please direct your attention up here, please," said Professor McGonagall in a loud voice.  
Harry turned his head to the left and saw the teachers sitting on an elevated table, Dumbledore obviously in the middle and McGonagall to his left.  
"Thank you. Professor Dumbledore would like to you have a couple words with you before the ball begins."  
The headmaster stood up and cleared his throat. Harry found it amazing that was all it took for much of the babbling crowd to quiet down, but that was the way Dumbledore was. Always calm and always in control.  
"Welcome, all, to the first annual Christmas Ball." Everyone broke out clapping and whooping, and it took quite a while for it all to end. Dumbledore, however, remained as placid as ever, looking almost uninterested. "Before the dancing and celebration begins, I would like to say just a few things. Dinner - for those who have yet to eat or would wish to eat more - " (His glance fell on Crabbe and Goyle) " - will be served in the room off to your right. Refreshments can also be found there. Anyone desiring a stroll in the chilly air is very welcome to do so. The door leading out to the garden can be found at the end of the room. Now, I shan't take away anymore of your precious time. Enjoy!"  
A platform began to rise in the middle of the room, and many people turned to see what was happening. The very top of a pointed hat appeared.then a tall blonde witch dressed in green and red.Harry heard excited screams from all around him.  
" - It's her! - "  
" - can't believe it's Celestina Warbeck - "  
The music began from nowhere and she struck up a slow tune. Harry felt a tugging at his arm. Cho was beckoning him to dance. His heart lurched; he thought he'd at least have a little bit of time to become acquainted with his surroundings. But seeing Ron and Celeste dancing peacefully nearby caused him to move his legs - almost painfully - in Cho's direction.  
* * * She wrapped her arms around his neck and felt his hands fall upon her waist. Cho could sense he was tense but could not decide why that would be. They had been dating since September, and one would think he'd be used to this sort of thing by now.  
Her head fell upon his shoulder, and she thought she felt Harry relax - a little. This is the way it's supposed to be, she thought, just Harry and me, no one else. No stupid diet to worry about, how many calories I'm taking in, just this.dancing.maybe with people around us, but they aren't bugging the hell out of me, are they? Sure, Othello and Solara are over there.but he can have his hands on her derrière all he wants. Doesn't matter to me at all, as long as neither of them comes over here.  
Oh, Harry, if only you knew what I think about everyday, every second of my sometimes and more often than not worthless life. But I could never bring myself to say this. Oh no, I couldn't ever, not even to Celeste. But just in case you can read minds, I'd like you to know something.  
I care for you and I love you to the point of insanity. I'd do anything to make you happy. And I think I'm not good enough for you, not at all good enough. Just tell me that I make you happy.that I -  
"Wanna go get a butterbeer or something?"  
"Fine," she said heavily, still leaning on his shoulder.  
* * * What is she doing, Harry thought. Though the song had ended and a much brighter tune was being played, Cho's head was still resting on his shoulder.  
"Cho?"  
He tried to pull away from her, wondering what had happened, and imagine his shock when he discovered she was crying.  
"Cho? What's the matter? Should - do you want to go outside for a little?"  
He saw her shake her head obstinately, and almost to defend her action, wiped the tears off with her sleeve.  
"I'm fine, Harry," she said, smiling slightly.  
"Sure?"  
"Yes, I am."  
She probably just started pining away over Cedric again, he thought bitterly, thinking of that damned Yule Ball.again.  
"Is there something the matter?" she asked.  
"Er - not at all," he replied, trying to mask his anger.  
"Well, if you don't mind, I'm going to talk to Celeste."  
* * * He's probably thinking I've been crying over Cedric, just like I was on the train. Like I would be doing so! I would think he'd know better than that by now. If I hadn't gotten over Cedric, I wouldn't be dating him, eh? Feeling absolutely furious, she decided to take a shot in the dark.  
"Harry," she said, barely concealing her frustration with his inability to understand, "if you think I've been crying over Cedric - "  
"What made you think that?" he snapped back, but afterwards, he was much warmer to Cho.  
* * * "Ron," Hermione murmured, wondering why she was watching her once-friend while in the arms of her enemy.  
"Did you say something?" Draco asked.  
"Um, no," she replied a little too quickly, hoping he hadn't noticed where her eyes had been this evening.Ron was walking out to the garden with this girl.Harry and Cho behind him.wait.  
A girl on his arm!  
And I'm sure I've seen her somewhere, but I can't quite remember.  
Suddenly, Draco was leading her away from the dance floor and to a shadowy wall. She wanted to follow Ron, but the almost vice-like grip on her arm was more than she could bear.  
"Ow, Draco, it hurts," she muttered, trying to wrench her arm out of his grasp.  
"I'm not letting go until we get a few things straight," he hissed, ignoring Hermione's watering eyes. "I know what you're doing, and I'd think someone as prudent as you would stop it, especially after the letter I sent you and what we talked about in Hogsmeade. I know who you've been watching and if it doesn't stop now, something's going to happen that won't make you all too happy."  
He threw down her arm and she rubbed it, wincing. Why did he have to be so evil, she thought, but maybe a bigger (and better) question is this: What have I gotten myself into? Is this really worth it?  
With a jolt, she remembered who Ron's date was. It was Cho's friend, the one that had been there when she realized that she might have fancied Ron all along and was blinded by - well..  
But really, it was all a matter of keeping Malfoy's big mouth shut. That was most important. Ron could think horribly of her, it didn't matter (well, yes it did, but she wouldn't ever admit that), but if Malfoy told everyone.let everyone know what had caused her to act so funny this year.  
* * * "D'you think it's working?" Celeste whispered eagerly.  
"I really hope so," Ron said, his face tinted a light green. "I don't know if I can stand being in the same room as those two," he added, shuddering slightly.  
Celeste had no need to ask to whom "those two" referred. She could pretty much guess from the bitterness in his voice.  
"Well, I can't either."  
"Don't like Malfoy much?"  
"Obviously, and I don't like Hermione very much either."  
Ron shot a glance of pure hatred at Celeste.  
"Why's that?" he asked suspiciously.  
"Well, not to offend you, but her know-it-all attitude really irritates me, and I know I'm not the only one." Her mind lingered on Cho for a little, and was about to ask her to back up her argument, but then remembered she was sitting a distance away, doing something (Celeste was quite sure what) on a bench. "I mean," she added, seeing the horrified and offended look on Ron's face, "I'm sure she's nice and all - I wouldn't know, I'm not in your house - but like this, with that Malfoy crap, she's - can't put in any other way, Ron, but she's no better than he is."  
After looking like he swallowed a bottle of Skele-Gro, Ron took a deep breath and told Celeste he thought she was right.  
"So, what do we have to do next?" he asked, still thinking of those days when Hermione wasn't such a - well, you know.  
"Well, she's bound to come out her and snog behind a tree or something. Hope it doesn't take a while. It's damn freezing out here!"  
"It could be colder," Ron said, taking Celeste's hand and rubbing it gently between his own.  
"Still.she better come out soon, just so we can get this over with." Seeing the confused look on Ron's face, she raised an eyebrow and said, "You know what I'm talking about."  
Ron felt his heart drop to the bottom of his stomach. Yes, he knew what she was talking about, but he wasn't looking forward to it. Oh, not at all, especially in front of Hermione and him.  
* * * "Harry, stop it!" came the playful voice behind the bushes, giggling.  
After a very bumpy start, Cho thought everything was back to what she would have called normal had she not somehow found herself pressed against the bottom of a bench with Harry on top of her. Her dress was incredibly wrinkled.  
"Why?" he teased. "You seem to be enjoying yourself."  
He brushed a strand of loose hair from her face and savored the feeling of her soft skin against his hand. Her eyes were alight with a mirth he had never seen before; they outshone the stars twinkling above them, a canopy that stretched infinitely. He wanted to freeze this moment, to carry it with him everywhere, to remind himself in these dark times that happiness indeed existed, and could be even be found in a pair of eyes.  
* * * Hermione saw them out of the corner of her vision, kissing, lying on the bench. She couldn't say anything though; her lips were locked onto Draco's and she had tried only feebly to release them. While these kisses used to leave her breathless and wanting more of his mouth, now the thought of them brought only repugnance and disgust to her mind, and she could picture herself shrinking away from Draco, bracing herself against a wall of sorts, Draco with a malicious grin on his face.  
Thought it wasn't Ron snogging but Harry, she had a strong urge to give Malfoy a good slap before marching into the garden, looking for Ron and telling him she was sorry. But she couldn't do that. Malfoy, for sure, would discover what she had done and he would exploit her tale and ruin her.  
No. She'd have to suffer then, suffer for her own sake, for her reputation, and for the hope that Ron's opinion of her wouldn't sink even lower.  
Then again.it wouldn't hurt.but.  
"Draco," she said as soon as she got the opportunity to pull away from his embrace, "it's rather stuffy in here. I - I was wondering if we could go out into the garden, get some air."  
And maybe, along with some air, I'll get what I really want.  
Now if only I could somehow persuade Draco to leave me alone.  
* * * "Cho? Harry?"  
"Hmm?"  
"Could you come over here for a sec?"  
Reluctantly standing up, she and Harry left the reclusive bench they had been occupying and followed Celeste. After sitting down, she faced them.  
"Okay, you all know my plan to make Hermione jealous right?"  
They nodded. Cho saw Ron with his face in his hands, and it appeared he was really dreading what was coming.  
"I was thinking I could do with a little.more. She's going to come out, sooner or later, and until then, could you sit near us? And when she does come outside - with or without Malfoy, it doesn't matter - just start kissing."  
"And why would this help what you're doing? She doesn't want me, she wants Ron," Harry said skeptically.  
"Because simply seeing people snogging'll remind her of wanting to kiss Ron," Celeste said in a superior and almost exasperated tone.  
The quiet that followed was awkward but soon broken.  
"There she is! Hermione!" Celeste hissed. "Ron! Come over here!"  
He stumbled over, still not looking resolved. Celeste immediately placed her mouth on his; Ron looked like he was about to be sick.  
"Nutter, that's what she is," Harry muttered.  
"Don't say that about my best friend," Cho said, putting her arms around Harry. "Well, here goes then.I've never had to kiss on cue before.it's almost like a - what do Muggles call it again? Where people pretend to be other people and there's something recording them doing it, then they sell it?"  
"A movie?"  
"Yeah.that's right."  
* * * What a prat, Hermione thought as she strolled into the garden.with Draco. Can't he just leave me alone for a damn second? Though I suppose.someone as suspicious as he is.if I was in his shoes I'd probably be doing the same thing.  
"Sit down," Draco said. It was not a request but an order.  
She did as she was told, only to notice this was the same bench Harry and Cho were.where were they anyway? Because wherever there was Harry, there was Ron. She wanted to see Ron even if he refused to acknowledge her existence. It was plain and simple, really. She loved him. Where is he?  
But she didn't have to look far. Beyond the rose bushes were Harry and Cho, kissing as usual. And next to them -  
She hoped Draco didn't hear that sudden inhale.  
How dare she, that little - ugh! What was that girl doing with Ron? They couldn't possibly be - my eyes must be malfunctioning - they can't be.  
But the truth stood. She had lost Ron because she had been blinded, and now he was in the arms of another. If only I hadn't been so stupid, so mindless, it might have worked out fine.I could have had both of them. Yet she had complied with what Draco had asked, in hopes of achieving what she wanted.  
Oh, Ron, Ron! Can't you see me here? Will you come to me? I could go over there, talk to him, maybe jinx that little bitch, if only.  
DRACO!  
How can I get rid of him without him noticing I'm looking for Ron?  
Suddenly, Crabbe soared out of the garden door (which had magically popped open for him) and landed in a crumpled heap right at Draco's feet.  
"What the hell are you doing, Crabbe?" Draco asked, rolling his eyes.  
"That Hufflepuff - Macmillan - I just sort of bumped into him by mistake and he spilled his bloody drink, got all riled up and blasted me right out of the ballroom."  
"Well, with someone as clumsy as you, I'm hardly surprised."  
"I think he wants me to duel."  
"No, really?" Draco sneered sarcastically.  
"Can you help me?"  
"Can't you see I'm busy?"  
"I can see you're sitting on a bench but you don't look busy."  
Draco scowled and swore under his breath, but he stood up, nevertheless.  
"Hermione, I'll be right back after I've sorted all of this rubbish out, alright? Don't move."  
"I won't," she said breathlessly, trying to keep the excitement from showing.  
As he stormed away, she crept behind the rose bushes, keeping an eye on Ron (still snogging). She tried not to make too much noise as it might give away her presence, but as Hermione was positively shivering with delight, she found it very hard to keep still. Then she heard a voice that sent her stomach plunging, all happiness extinguished, an ice-cold feeling spreading through her entire body.  
"Do you hear something?" Cho murmured, finally breaking away from Harry.  
"By the bushes, you mean?"  
Hermione's heart leapt. I have been heard, she thought frantically, and I might ruin everything!  
There was total silence, and she was sure even Ron had stopped kissing. Thus, she was caught entirely off guard.  
"HERMIONE?"  
"Oh, Ron!"  
Giving up all pretense of being hidden, she threw herself at him, hoping to be welcomed with open arms. Instead, however, she was thrown back roughly to the ground.  
"Ron?"  
"What, done snogging Malfoy already?" he yelled.  
"I - I wasn't - I would never." she whimpered, tears stinging her eyes.  
"So what are you doing, hiding behind the bushes? Hoping you could curse my girlfriend, eh?"  
Celeste stepped forward, head held high.  
"You.you.bitch." she tried to say, but words were being caught in her throat.  
"Don't bother, Hermione. You could call me a - " (She said something that made Cho's hand fly to her mouth and shriek, "Celeste!") " - and I wouldn't give a damn."  
"What?"  
"Want me to put it in simpler terms? Has your brain rotted due to excessive exposure to darling Draco? Ron will never be yours."  
"But.Ron, surely you still care," she choked, tears staining the ground.  
"Why should I, when you've completely disregarded me this whole year?" he spat, though his eyes clearly showed his concern for Hermione. Celeste, noticing this, nudged his foot.  
"Ron.I'm - "  
"There you are, Hermione!"  
She looked up, unable to stem the flow of uncontrollable crying, and was unable to make out much of what was standing in front of her. That's it then, she thought. I've lost to this Ravenclaw I don't even know, I've lost Ron. Her vision cleared slightly; she could recognize a familiar looking silver hair.  
Oh, damn!  
"Hermione, what did this bastard do to you now?" Draco said flatly, showing no compassion for the girl that lay prostrate with grief before him.  
What am I supposed to say?  
"He - he jinxed me."  
"Which jinx, dear?"  
What's Hermione doing, Ron thought, thoroughly puzzled.  
"Trip - Trip Jinx, and I landed here. Could I just go to Madam Pomfrey? I might have twisted my wrist."  
"Would you like me to come with you?"  
"No, no, just.I'll go by myself, thanks."  
With an effort, she got onto her feet, still shaking. Attempting to put on a brave face (though the longing in her eyes did not disappear), she turned around and headed back inside. Harry didn't think he'd ever seen Ron that mortified.  
"Weasley, what did you do to her?" Malfoy said angrily in a voice barely above a whisper.  
"Well, don't you listen to your own girlfriend? A Trip Jinx!"  
"Likely story. She probably came out here - "  
"How would I know what she was trying to do?" Ron snapped back, his ears turning red. "She looked like she was going to attack me (probably on your orders) so I had to defend myself."  
"Sorry, Weasley, but I'm going to have to curse you for that. Locomotor mortis!"  
Ron's legs suddenly snapped together but, miraculously, remained standing, albeit wobbling slightly. He pointed his wand at Malfoy and yelled, "Petrificus totalus!"  
Malfoy toppled over.  
"Here, let me help," Cho said, looking horrified.  
She muttered the countercurse and Ron was then free to walk.  
"He'll probably get trampled if we leave him here," Celeste remarked.  
"That's what he deserves anyway," Harry said, looking at Malfoy with great disgust.  
"Well, let's go inside then," Cho said.  
She and Harry reentered the ballroom and resumed dancing. Ron, however, lingered.  
"Aren't you coming in?" Celeste asked, holding the door open.  
"Yeah, but I'm just thinking.D'you think it worked? The plan?"  
"I'm sure it did. Did you see her? She was bloody crying!"  
"But."  
Celeste sighed and let the door close.  
"Look, Ron, I know that, for you, seeing Hermione like that was, well, unsettling, but if you want the plan to work you've got to live with it. Suck it up, okay? It'll hurt now, but in the end, everything will be just fine."  
"It's just - "  
"I know, Ron, I know."  
With that, Celeste put an arm around him and led him back indoors. Meanwhile, the party raged inside, involving more than a couple spilt butterbeers, five people leaving the dance early sprouting elephant trunks from their noses, and Celestina Warbeck marching off the platform, declaring she couldn't work in these sort of conditions. 


	8. Teatime

Chapter 8: Teatime  
  
"So, what did you get for Christmas?" asked Celeste, lounging in the common room, yawning occasionally.  
"The typical - books on Charms and such, candy." Cho said indifferently, flipping through 101 Ways to Keep Your Quidditch Captain Happy ("From Successful Practices to Evading Those Inevitable Lectures").  
"Anything from Harry?"  
"Some roses." she said, using all of her might to keep the pleasure in her voice at a minimal level.  
"Ooh, that's so romantic. Nothing better than a bouquet of roses.Everlasting, right?"  
"I think so."  
"Hmm.Everlasting Roses are expensive.I've gotten one once. Just one bloody rose last year from my boyfriend."  
"Do you still have it? The company that makes them guarantees a ten- year life for each rose."  
"No, I snapped it in half when we broke up and chucked it into the fire. He was a total asshole. I would have been better off with that Hufflepuff, anyway."  
Cho stared ahead at the fire, crackling merrily. The Christmas Ball had turned out to be more than just a dance. Apparently, after being cursed by Malfoy, Ernie Macmillan (after receiving a countercurse, of course) had gathered together a band of other Hufflepuffs and set out to jinx any Slytherin they walked upon. Cho felt very lucky indeed she escaped the ball unscathed. His friends' aim wasn't too great.  
"Well, now that most of the holiday festivities are over, we'd better get started on homework - " Cho said, starting off for the dormitory.  
"No! It's Christmas, Cho. What kind of person does homework on Christmas?"  
"Someone who cares enough for her schoolwork, Celeste."  
But it wasn't work that drew her away from the warmth of the common room and the holiday cheer. It was planning, planning for the next phase of her diet. She needed only two things: her mind and quiet surroundings. Unfortunately, with Celeste complaining about her ex-boyfriend, Cho couldn't exactly find the latter.  
Now she was just alone in her dormitory with no one bother her.  
Flopping onto her bed and taking out her Charms book, Cho waited.  
Huh? Hello?  
She waited a little more, but nothing came to her. No instructions, orders, and lashings came from within her, nothing. It was total calm.  
It means, she thought, does this mean.? I've succeeded! Yet something inside tugged at her, urging her to move forward, not to be stagnant but to progress.even after success. Yes, she had done something wonderful but there could more than that, something more than just plain wonderful.  
Well, she pondered, I could cut down on the amount I eat for breakfast. Three ounces sounds good, right, no more than that. Still no dinner, it's doing me good. As for lunch, I'll still have to eat something. Half of a small salad, then, no dressing. I'm so close to 100 pounds, if I could reach that, it would be a miracle.and if I'm below that.  
Cho's body tingled merrily at the thought.  
"Thought you said you were doing your homework," Celeste said warily, sticking her head in the doorway.  
"Yeah, I am, but I'm thinking first."  
"Charms, eh? In case you can't remember, Professor Flitwick didn't assign us any written homework. He just asked us to start thinking about Creation Charms, and like anyone's going to do that."  
"Well, that's what I'm doing!" Cho snapped.  
"Okay then, tell me, what's the wand movement for a Creation Charm? After all, you always look over the lesson before doing anything."  
"Um."  
Celeste smiled.  
"Cho, if you wanted to be alone, you could've just told me."  
"Sorry," Cho muttered, feeling ashamed that she had tried to deceive her own best friend.  
"Well, anyway, now that you have your Charms book out, why don't we look through the lesson on Creation Charms?"  
"But I thought you said - "  
"Actually, I've been looking forward to Creation Charms for a while now," Celeste said matter-of-factly. "I've always wanted to conjure toilets out of midair."  
They spent the next hour playing around with Creation Charms, learning its wand movement (a somewhat swirling motion, though it really depended on what one wanted to Create) and incantation, and Cho finally managed to conjure a button out of nothing.  
"Well, that was exhausting," Celeste exclaimed, "and I didn't even manage to Create anything. Damn, it's a lot harder than all the teachers make it seem. I mean, they can just conjure these huge chairs and at the rate I'm going, I'll be able to get shit out of the air. They do it like its second nature, really."  
"Like you said, it is hard. D'you think Hermione knows how to do this?" Cho asked.  
"I've heard she can do N.E.W.T. level spells, but this? Eh, I don't know if even she could handle it. Ah, look, time for Christmas tea. Would you mind coming? I'm sure tea is very low in calories."  
I've been working pretty hard, Cho thought. I deserve a little something other than rabbit food. It does get tiring, eating nothing but bland-tasting salad everyday.  
"Sure, I'll come. And Harry'll probably be there, too, as long as he isn't pelting snowballs at Ron outside."  
"He might be. That's what all the Ravenclaws are doing. Here, I'll check."  
Celeste strolled to the nearest window and opened it, scanning for a distinctive shade of red.  
"Ah, there's Ron with Harry ready to fire away. HEY RON!"  
She saw him look up and wave. Celeste waved back.  
"ARE YOU AND HARRY GOING TO CHRISTMAS TEA?"  
"YEAH! AS SOON AS I'M DONE!"  
"WELL, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO BE DONE?"  
"JUST ABOUT.NOW!"  
Cho heard a sudden slam of the window and a stream of swearing.  
"Bastard! Look at what he did!" Celeste screamed.  
Though Cho could see Celeste had a point, she had to restrain herself from falling over in hysterical laughter. Snow covered her face, leaving only her livid eyes.  
"He magicked the damn snowball right into my face, the git! Ugh!"  
"It's not going to take much to clean, though," Cho said, struggling against the urge to giggle. "Scourgify!"  
"Thanks," Celeste muttered as the snow evaporated. "I'm definitely going to have to jinx him today. No better place than during tea."  
* * * She had only seen Draco once today, and while he refused to meet her eye, he looked angry. About what, Hermione could only guess, but she had her ideas. He couldn't possibly know about what happened last night, she thought.  
After her embarrassing encounter with Ron, Hermione had come up with an excuse to escape them all: Ron's infuriated glare, Celeste's disdainful expression, Draco's apathetic tone, she needed to run away from it all. She didn't go to the hospital wing like she had said but her dormitory. There she cried it all out, her desire for Ron's affections, her split heart, and Draco's continuous threats of telling.  
I have to convince Draco I really do like him, she thought frantically while pretending to read An Advanced Guide to Arithmancy and Numerology. I need to, otherwise.  
Hermione shuddered, which is what seemed to happen every time she thought of Draco telling her story.  
Yes, I'll do it during Christmas tea, she thought. They'll be a lot of people there, talking about whatever they talk about, so no one will pay attention to Draco and me, right?  
* * * "Hello, Harry," Cho said brightly as she entered the Hogwarts Tearoom ("Special Occasions Only"), decked in red and green for the occasion.  
"Decided not to skive this one off then?" he remarked casually, making Cho turn scarlet. "Want to sit here?"  
"All right," she said, settling down between Harry and Ron (Celeste was already deep in conversation with him).  
"Quite a riot last night, don't you think?" she asked, hoping to spark some conversation.  
"What a shame Malfoy couldn't have sprouted fangs. I'd love to see Hermione try and kiss him like that."  
Cho was taken aback at the coldness Harry displayed toward Hermione, but Ron, on the other hand, laughed heartily.  
"Look, there she is and dear little Draco," Ron sneered.  
"I wish I knew what they were saying!" Celeste said, her eyes sparkling. "That way we could tailor our plan to suit what's going on between them. We could play off their weaknesses."  
"You'll need one of these, then," Ron said, pulling what Cho thought was a very stretched-out piece of candy Muggles often chewed and then spit out on sidewalks. "Extendable Ears, perfect for eavesdropping since you can't use any of those nifty Muggle things Harry told me about."  
"Well, Ron, wouldn't you think someone would see it? Unless it comes with an Invisibility Charm, of course."  
"Hmm, thanks for the tip! I'll tell Fred and George that. It'd improve sales, I'm sure."  
"Oh, give it here," Celeste snapped, snatching it out of Ron's grasp.  
* * * "Draco dear."  
"Don't 'dear' me, Granger. I've got a damn good idea as to what you were doing last night."  
"You must be mistaken - "  
"No, you're the one that's mistaken. I don't give a rat's ass whether or not you're my girlfriend. Actually, I'd prefer you weren't. There are plenty of girls I could date.most of them made of much better blood than you. I've got a lot of good connections, if you recall. I'd think that you'd at least remember that.  
Hermione couldn't remember the last time she wanted to curse anyone this badly.  
"Well, fine then!" she hissed. "Go have your Slytherin rubbish, I don't care either! Just don't.you know.don't."  
"Tell, m'dear?" Draco smirked, his face lighting up. "Granger, you can date that blood-traitor, poor house resident Weasley if you want to. You'll just have to pay a little price for it, I daresay."  
"You wouldn't, you wouldn't dare," Hermione said, her voice trembling. Though she was still as angry as ever, his words had injected fear and dread into her.  
"Oh, yes, I think I would. If it's one thing you need to learn from this year is that a Malfoy always gets his way. I got the help I needed, you got what you wanted, but in the end, you know I'm going to win."  
"You - you don't understand, you've never been insecure, you - "  
" - 'filthy rich and spoiled bastard'? Dear me, you are predictable."  
Fury boiled up within Hermione like never before. She wanted to grab hold of his head, smash it against the wall, she would take pleasure in seeing the blood flow from underneath his silvery hair, watching it stain his clothes, yes, revenge would be so sweet.  
She watched Draco pouring tea into his cup.his pompous smile.how she wanted to see it transform into a grimace of pain. Blow up, you blasted teapot.  
* * * Several shrieks nearby abruptly halted Cho's discussion about her summer plans with Harry. She whipped around, and what she saw sent her ducking under the table, hoping she wouldn't laugh out loud. Prideful Draco Malfoy was covered head to toe in scalding tea, his blond hair dripping with tealeaves, his robes saturated to the point where it looked like he had just emerged from a swimming pool.  
"YOU MUDBLOOD! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" he bellowed.  
"What? What could I have done?" Hermione said innocently.  
"WHAT COULD YOU HAVE DONE? AND THIS IS COMING FROM SOMEONE WHO CAN DO N.E.W.T. LEVEL SPELLS!" he yelled incredulously.  
"Yes, what could I have done without a wand? I know I'm capable of doing something like that, but without a wand, I might as well eat the teapot."  
"THEN YOU HAD YOUR WAND OUT THEN! I KNOW YOU DID!"  
"Draco, Draco, calm down. I'm very sure I didn't have my wand out. Ask around, if you don't believe me."  
"You there!" He pointed a menacing finger at a horrified Hufflepuff first year. "Did this rubbish take out her wand?"  
"N-no, I-I didn't s-see her - "  
"DON'T LIE!"  
"I-I swear! She didn't!"  
"TELL ME SHE DID! TELL ME SHE - " he screamed, shaking the poor student.  
"Mr. Malfoy, is it necessary to manhandle younger students?" Professor McGonagall was standing in the doorway, attracted by all the noise. A sudden silence fell upon the crowd. "Mr. Malfoy, will be please let go of him?"  
"SHE BLEW UP THE BLOODY TEAPOT! SHE BLEW IT UP! ON ME AND ON PURPOSE!" Draco roared, pointing an accusatory finger at Hermione, looking only mildly interested.  
"Well, from what I heard from the person you were harassing, Miss Granger did not take out her wand. So, Mr. Malfoy, that'll be ten points from Slytherin for making such a fuss over nothing and yelling yourself hoarse at innocent bystanders, and another ten points for bullying another student. Be lucky you weren't given a detention. Now I suggest you all calm down and finish your tea."  
As she strolled out of the room, Malfoy let out a stream of curses, which caused more than a couple younger students cringe. He wheeled around, bearing down on the eerily quiet crowd, all who were staring at him.  
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?" he shrieked, his pale face turning red. "YOU HEARD HER! GO BACK TO YOU TEA!"  
A clinking sound of cups followed, and the chatter gradually returned. When Malfoy sat down, Hermione was adamantly staring at her teacup.  
"That was quite a show," Cho said, unruffled. "We're having some holiday, eh? First the ball, now Christmas tea."  
"Oh, forget about Malfoy's little outburst!" Celeste whispered enthusiastically. "You know what I heard?" She relayed much of the conversation to Harry, Cho, and Ron. "It's just like what I've been thinking all along."  
"Well, what have you been thinking?" Harry asked.  
"That Hermione isn't going out with Malfoy 'cause she fancies him. They're bound together by - well, I don't know what's keeping 'em together. That we'll figure out later. Ron, you're in luck! She fancies you after all! Now, if only we knew what she was up to.and I wonder what that whole 'I don't want you to tell people, Draco' crap is all about."  
"Well, I think that what she doesn't want everyone to know is the reason why she's going out with him and pretending to like him.that is, if she's still pretending she likes him. Remember what we saw at Hogsmeade, Harry? They looked like they had a row, and the next minute they were kissing." Cho said.  
"Really? You think?"  
"Well, maybe, yes," Cho said impatiently. "Anyway, what d'you reckon happened with the teapot and what not? It blew up, but how? I'm pretty sure she didn't have her wand out."  
"It's what happens when you lose control of your temper," Harry said, attracting a confused look from Cho. "See, the summer before my third year, I got mad at Aunt Marge and well."  
"And Harry blew her up!" Ron exclaimed.  
"Really?"  
"Well, she didn't really blow up," Harry said sheepishly. "More like inflated." Ron snickered, who clearly found the memory high amusing. "Well, I'm done with my tea."  
"I'll come with you," Cho and Ron said simultaneously.  
"And since I really don't want to be left without friends with a very ticked off Draco Malfoy, I'll come as well," Celeste added.  
Leaving their cups and saucers behind, they stood up and headed for the door. At least, three of them did anyway.  
* * * That Mudblood's going to pay for what she did, he thought angrily. No one publicly embarrasses a Malfoy and then gets away with it. Oh, look, it's Weasley and his little crew: Potter, Chang.  
Wait, Weasley? Huh.  
* * * "MOVE! AHHHHHH!"  
A curse from somewhere sent Ron flying into a group of Ravenclaws, spilling tea everywhere.  
"What - the - hell - " he panted, shaking tealeaves off his robe. He sent a particularly nasty look at Hermione, who mouthed "Malfoy" and winked. Is she trying to tell me that Malfoy cursed me, he thought. Well, she hasn't been too helpful and could by lying just so she could have another go for me - "Oh, Ron! Stop cursing my boyfriend!" - but out of the people here, he definitely seems like the one that would have cursed me. And while Hermione's been paying absolutely no attention to me, she wouldn't ever curse another Gryffindor. Well, here goes -  
"Furnunculus!" Ron yelled, waving his wand madly at Malfoy.  
Ugly red boils popped up on Malfoy's neck and slowly inched towards his face, and he was clawing his hands into his face, trying to puncture the boils. Ron noticed Hermione doubling over with silent giggles and felt more confident.  
"Malfoy, you look great with those," he jeered. "You should try wearing them more often."  
"Tarantallegra!"  
"Protego," Ron said immediately after, sending the jinx right back at Malfoy, where it caught him unaware, causing him to dance uncontrollably.  
"Hermione, help!" he moaned, trying unsuccessfully to regain control of his legs.  
"Sorry, dear, but if I take out my wand, you might have another go at me," she said, smiling sweetly. Even Ron couldn't help but laugh as he jogged out of the tearoom, leaving a fuming Malfoy struggling to retrieve his wand out of his pocket.  
* * * "You're being awfully quiet," Cho said as she flipped through Transfiguration Made Easy: A Student's Guide to the Transfiguration N.E.W.T. after the Christmas feast.  
"I'm just wondering.what happened today during tea."  
"It was funny, wasn't it, Malfoy losing his temper like that?"  
"No, not that. I'm just thinking.what do you think Hermione's up to? What's the difference between her behavior this year and last year?"  
"Isn't it obvious? Last year, at least she kept her head down, and this year, she's a complete snob. Why do you care? Is this all for Ron?"  
"Well, somewhat, yes, but I just like to help people, and in order to help them, you need to understand them first."  
"Hermione doesn't deserve any help," Cho said coldly.  
"I know, but whatever's plaguing her.oh, whatever. I'll think about it later. So, what are you reading?" She showed Celeste the cover. "Ah, I have the Potions one since I'm horrible at that subject. What d'you think N.E.W.T.s are going to be like?"  
"Like the O.W.L.s, I guess, but more advanced material. Also won't be as many, because we dropped a couple courses, but the exams'll probably take longer."  
"Are you nervous?"  
"Of course, but I'm not dwelling on it yet. After all, they aren't until our seventh year." "Yeah.well, look, I'm going back up to the dormitory to practice the Creation Charm. See you, then."  
"Bye."  
But Cho's mind wasn't entirely on bidding her friend farewell. She was thinking about what Celeste had said: In order to help them, you need to understand them first. Cho didn't think she had ever heard anything so enlightening. They all want to help me - Celeste and Harry, she thought. They all want to keep me safe and are somehow convinced I'm going to kill myself through this diet. But they don't understand me, not at all. And today, during tea, when Hermione said something about being insecure, that's me. I've always been doubted at home and at school and by even the person I love, Harry. And the only way I can overcome that insecurity is by being perfect, and no one understands that.  
Except maybe.  
Goodness!  
I think Hermione might be the only person who would understand me. She's insecure too, even though she's pretty and smart, but she's not trying to overcome it the way I am. She thinks that by being overly social it'll cover it up. Well, I've already tried that and it doesn't work. Look where I've ended up. I'm as flawed as ever, even after supposedly succeeding.  
* * * The end of the holidays was a positive happening for Cho, and she was possibly the only one who thought so ("Don't know why you're looking so happy," Celeste grumbled as they set off for Charms, their first class of the new term.). After decreasing her already minimized "meals," the gnawing hunger grew worse, and she discovered that even Olde and Useful Potions could no longer serve its original purpose. Insomnia visited her nightly even after draining Quidditch practices and mountains of homework, and no matter how warm the bedpans and thick the down comforters were, Cho found herself shivering involuntarily as she lay in what would have been a world of warmth. Only one thought sustained her. Thus, she was glad for the distraction classes unknowingly provided.  
If only those classes were as enjoyable as they used to be.  
"Celeste, I'll catch up with you later," Cho panted as she stood against the wall on the way to Charms (located on the seventh floor) near the end of January.  
  
"What's up? You look really tired."  
"Just - I forgot a quill. I'll, um, I have to go back and get it, okay?"  
Cho started down the staircase, waiting for Celeste's footsteps to disappear. Breathing with relief, she headed up the stairs again, only to end up clutching her chest and feeling like she had just run a mile. What is wrong with me, she thought. I'm athletic - Ravenclaw Seeker and all, and yet I can't even make it up a staircase. During her climb, she passed by a mirror and quickly glanced at it. What she saw, however, made her nearly fall over.  
Her eyes, once so warm and deep, appeared shallow and possessed the appearance of someone extremely paranoid. Her hair, once so thick and glossy, hung lank and had clearly lost all of its volume. Most shattering of all were the creases beneath her eyes, the product of many sleepless nights, aging her young face.  
Eyes filling up with tears at the sight of her once-beautiful face, she ran all the way up to class, ignoring the fact her muscles were protesting with all the strength they had left.  
"Sorry, Professor, I had to go back to - " she panted as she arrived at the Charms classroom ten minutes late.  
"Celeste here has already explained it all. Take a seat, please."  
Trying to ignore all the curious stares from her classmates, she collapsed into a seat next to Celeste, and by the look on her friend's face, she clearly didn't believe at all Cho had gone back to get a quill.  
The chair felt unusually hard under her. 


	9. Second Door to the Right

Chapter Nine: Second Door to the Right  
  
Blasted house elves, Cho thought bitterly as she shivered through another cold night. I even left them a note asking them if they could put more coals in the bedpans. Oh, it's too cold. I'll never fall asleep like this.  
She roughly pushed back the covers, the chill immediately surrounding her. Standing up and pulling on her loosely hanging robe (I really have to get new robes, she thought, disgruntled. After all, I'm under 100 pounds.), Cho reached for her music box. She inched slowly toward the door, hoping Celeste, who was a rather light sleeper, wouldn't be awakened. She opened the door.little by little - praying it wouldn't creak -  
"S'up, Cho?" Celeste muttered, sitting up in her bed and rubbing her eyes. "Middle of the night, where the hell are you going to?"  
"Bathroom," Cho whispered, hiding the music box from view.  
"Try not to wake me up next time please?" she yawned, falling back asleep.  
That's exactly what I was trying to do, Cho thought, rolling her eyes, creeping out of the dormitory, only breathing freely once she had exited the Ravenclaw Tower. While the corridors didn't have a crackling fire in the corner like the dormitory, the peace and silence brought calm to Cho, pacifying her racing heart. They were draughty and occasional winds blew through the cracks in the walls of stone, but the ancientness of it all welcomed Cho, beckoned her to walk within its halls. She walked into the bathroom and sat down in the alcove by the window. From there she had a splendid view of the many towers of Hogwarts, almost as dark as the sky above them.  
Cho opened the music box and waited for the music to begin. After having used it many times, she had learned the little pianist had quite a repertoire, ranging from Bach to Debussy, Mozart to Rachmaninoff. Light chords reached her ear, ascending and then descending, and Cho immediately recognized the song as Liszt's "Evening Harmony". She had a recording of it back at home and it was one of her favorites.  
The song progressed into grandiose arpeggios and, to her utter surprise, tears started flowing down her face. Cho was puzzled; what sort of memory could this song trigger? You're so pathetic, she told herself, crying in the middle of the night, hiding in a bathroom while trying to stay warm.  
A few tears trickled onto the black velvet, the fine velvet that lined the interior of the box. She remembered the joy, that indescribable happiness, which had held her when she first saw this, this present Harry had bought her.  
Crying over Harry again, she thought. It's always Harry. It always goes back to Harry, no matter how hard you try and forget, it will always goes back to him, doesn't it? Cedric and now the diet - it's all indirectly because of him.  
After crying out all of her tears, she closed the music box (halfway through "Duex Arabesques") and, huddling in her robe, carefully walked back up to the Ravenclaw common room, where she fell onto the sofa, not having the strength to walk up more flights of stairs.  
To Harry then, she thought as she at last drifted away.  
She fell into darkness.into nothingness.that pit of black.or white.or nothing, because that's what it was.right.  
"Cho, wake up!"  
.Someone was slapping her.huh?  
"What?" she muttered, rolling onto her side.  
"WAKE UP!"  
She tried to open her eyes, but it seemed that some unknown weight was pushing against her eyelids, ordering them to stay closed. Another slap stung her cheek and her eyes were forcefully wrenched open, sunlight streaming into them.  
"What - Celeste? What am I doing in the common room?" Cho murmured as she sat up and stretched. "Am I late for class? Are you late for class?"  
"You went to the bathroom last night, am I correct?" Celeste asked sternly.  
"Suppose so. My memory's not too good at the moment. I'm tired. Can I sleep?"  
"And you never went back up to the dormitory?"  
"Did I? I can't remember. And where am I?"  
"Common room. So, what can you remember then?"  
Cho couldn't ever remember seeing such an intense look on Celeste's face. She felt like a criminal being interrogated thoroughly.  
"I.went to the bathroom, I guess, then I came back and just.I don't know what happened then."  
"D'you think you fell asleep?"  
"Yeah, why not?" she mumbled, falling backwards, but Celeste roughly pushed her back into an upright position.  
"You didn't fall asleep. You couldn't have because I know - from much experience, trust me - that it doesn't take about twenty slaps on the face to wake you up! You must have passed out or something, and then your body probably stayed in that state because it needs rest anyway!"  
"Couldn't have, I fell asleep right away."  
Celeste raised an eyebrow.  
"For all we know, since you can't seem to remember much about last night, you very well could have passed out. Or you could have fallen asleep, as you keep on insisting."  
"Right, see? I fell asleep, now I'm going to get dressed - "  
"You already are," Celeste remarked impatiently.  
"Oh! So I am.huh, weird. Well, I, um."  
Cho glanced down at the object that had somehow found its way into her hands. Her heart went to her throat. My music box, she thought frantically, how did it get here?  
Suddenly, all of what had happened last night rushed back to her at such a pace Cho's head spun. She had gone to the bathroom, told Celeste that, cried in there, then came back.but after that, it was all fuzzy. She had collapsed on the sofa, but had she slept or simply fainted?  
She recalled a feeling of freefalling, falling to, well, she wasn't sure where, but almost into (Cho nearly blushed at the silliness of her thoughts) nothing. And having fallen asleep every day of her life, she couldn't ever remembering feeling such a sensation right before sleeping. So.that meant.could she have really passed out?  
Cho stumbled into the now empty dormitory, her legs giving away, and she fell onto the floor, the music box spiraling into the air and crashing down a couple feet away, miraculously unharmed.  
"Cho, what's the matter?" Celeste said, biting her lower lip as she rushed into the room, helping her friend back on her feet.  
"I - I don't know, something, oh, I don't know what I'm doing anymore - " Cho moaned, her voice breaking up. "I've lost - lost."  
She fell again, pounding on the floor furiously with her fists, trying to escape the pain, the sobs that racked her thin body.  
"Stop it, Cho, just stop, okay?" Celeste said, tears forming in her eyes as well.  
"I can't - can't stop anymore - it's just - possessing - I don't - I haven't any idea," she cried out, painfully aware of the fact Celeste was standing right above her, witnessing this.  
"Look, just.just calm down, okay? Tell me what's wrong."  
She reached down to stop Cho from doing anymore harm to both herself and the floor, but she resisted, shouting, "I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE!"  
Sighing, Celeste reached into her pocket, pulled out her wand, and muttered, "Silencio." Cho opened her mouth to probably yell some more, but not a whisper escaped her. "There, that ought to keep you quiet long enough," Celeste said. "Now listen to me, okay? What's wrong and what's all this 'I don't know what I'm doing anymore' stuff?" Cho pointed at her own throat as if to say, "How am I supposed to tell you that when you've just performed a Silencing Charm on me?"  
"I swear I'll take it off if you promise not to go all spastic again, okay?"  
She nodded vigorously, and Celeste pointed her wand at her throat, muttered the countercurse, and a gasping noise emerged from Cho.  
"Thanks," she said hoarsely, looking ashamed.  
"Okay, now tell me because I'm really worried about you. Even though I wasn't too keen on letting to carry on with your diet, I thought you knew what you were putting yourself up against. But now." Celeste shook her head sadly. "I don't know either. I don't know what you're doing to yourself. If you don't die of malnutrition and hunger, it'll be because you're inflicting pain on yourself, both emotionally and physically. Then you might be crazy enough to jump off the Astronomy Tower or something, and I don't want to lose you, because you really are my best friend, and I won't have anyone left after you're gone."  
When Cho looked up, she saw that Celeste had her face buried in her hands. It had never occurred to her that Celeste could cry because she was always so bright and vivacious, so full of life and energy, and the sight of her best friend falling prey to sorrow and helplessness was enough to knock some sense into her. After a minute of complete silence broken only by occasional sniffing from Celeste, Cho began speaking, facing the window, thinking that she could not bear looking at her friend in such a state.  
"Well, I can't really - the truth is - I don't really know what I'm doing anymore. I suppose I'm dieting but sometimes, I think, I'm not even sure I'm really dieting but doing something else. I want to stop, sometimes, but I can't - because I haven't gotten - " I haven't attained perfection yet, that's why, she thought. I thought that maybe after I was under 100, I would be.but I'm not. So I'm not there yet, but I think I'm close. But Cho chose not to tell Celeste this. "Sometimes it feels like I haven't got any control over what I'm doing."  
"You're not possessed by You-Know-Who, are you?" Celeste suddenly said, a horrified look upon her face.  
Cho burst out in laughter, never having heard anything quite as hilarious as that, and Celeste's expression turned into one of confusion.  
"You-Know-Who's got better things to do than possess 16-year old Hogwarts students," Cho managed to say between laughs.  
Celeste and Cho's sounds of mirth drifted through the common room, and they spent the remainder of what would have been breakfast telling anyone who came in their dormitory they were officially insane.  
* * * As she (uncomfortably) sat in class that day, Cho was very grateful for Celeste's comment for it had saved her from revealing the entire truth. On the other hand, had she been forced to do so, she wasn't sure if she could have explained the entire truth in a day. Many of the reasons contributing to her mania were all but lost to her, and only one of them remained with her: When she would be perfect, Harry would truly and genuinely love her and she would finally feel accepted.  
Cho had noticed Harry had been avoiding her lately, and this had strengthened her resolve to become perfect. It was more urgent than ever now that Harry's affections seemed to be waning. She had abolished lunch all together and reduced breakfast to no more than two ounces of cottage cheese. She had been magically shrinking all of her clothes as they no longer fit but more or less hung about her like a sheet of draped cloth and had ordered a Hair Thickening Solution from a Hogsmeade catalogue. She applied liberal amounts of makeup everyday, trying to hide the fact she walked around Hogwarts looking like one of the ghosts, and she was now getting about four hours of sleep, at the most, every night. While she put on more of the Hair Thickening Solution with each new day, it was soon apparent it was having no effect on her thinning hair.  
One day in early March, Professor McGonagall stopped Cho just as she was about leave Transfiguration.  
"Miss Chang, you look sick. What class do you have next?"  
"I have.oh, I have Arithmancy next."  
"Then I shall tell Professor Vector you will not be in her class today."  
"But Professor, I really like that class. Honestly!" Cho insisted, wondered what Professor McGonagall was playing at.  
"It isn't a matter of whether or not you love it or hate it. You will be missing her class because you need to visit the hospital wing. You look like you haven't slept in days."  
Which is partly true, she thought grudgingly. It was harder than ever to fall asleep, and the day before, she hadn't been able to rest a minute.  
"Honestly, Professor, I feel just fine," she claimed, trying to ignore the feeling she was about vomit.that is, if she had anything in her stomach to throw up.  
"But I insist you go to Madame Pomfrey. If you aren't going to lie down, then I suggest you request a nice warm meal. I always find that makes me feel a lot better. Well, off you go then."  
"A nice warm meal," eh, Cho thought as she trudged up the stairs to Arithmancy. With what? Loads of meat, I presume? Chicken and beef? Absolutely disgusting.  
A month ago, had anyone offered her "a nice warm meal," the only thing that would have kept her away from gobbling it up in a second was her own self-restraint. Now, however, she recoiled at the mere thought of eating any more than cottage cheese.  
* * * "You've got a package," Celeste said, pointing at a barn owl hovering near the window as they lounged during one of those infrequent workless days during middle of March in the common room.  
Cho walked over the window and unlocked it. The owl swooped in, depositing the package on her chair, and then flew back out towards the Owlery.  
"What is it?" asked Celeste eagerly as they headed back up to the dormitory.  
"My dress," Cho replied nonchalantly.  
"For the Easter Ball?"  
"No, it's so I can seduce Filch into having sex with me," she remarked sarcastically.  
"Ooh, tell me how it goes," Celeste said, giggling. "But all jokes aside, why didn't you just go to Hogsmeade? There was a trip just a week ago. I went with Ron and we were spying on Hermione and Malfoy. That Draco is one good kisser, but I wouldn't want my lips tainted, thank you very much."  
"I - um, I was busy, those N.E.W.T. practice papers," she lied.  
The truth was she had gone to Gladrags that weekend, in search of a dress that would actually fit. However, all the dresses she had found either fit perfectly around her now virtually microscopic waist but were entirely too short, or they suited her height but were at least twice the circumference of her waist. She had been forced to order a custom-made dress just so she could have one that actually fit.  
"Could I see it?"  
"No, you can't," Cho said a little too quickly. "I mean, I don't let anyone see my dress until the day of the ball, remember?"  
"Yeah, I remember now. I was bugging you about your dress last year too, I think. Right before the Yule Ball, right?"  
"I believe so."  
"I can't wait until the Easter Ball because I know Hermione's going to be there, and I think just a little more of her watching me kiss Ron should do the job."  
Cho, however, could have very well done without the Easter Ball. The teachers had assigned so much work she was sure she'd be finished with Hogwarts before she could get through Professor Snape's numerous essays. She also had inhibitions about appearing in public wearing a dress with such a narrow waist. Cho thought she would be feeling proud, showing the world what she had accomplished, but every time she thought of the ball, her face grew red. So it was with great reluctance she dressed for the occasion.  
As she stood in the dressing room, located next to the bathroom, Cho felt incredibly small, dwarfed by everyone else. Not only was she shorter than everyone, she was thinner. Aren't I supposed to be satisfied with what I have, especially after all of my work, she thought bitterly. Then why do I feel so ashamed? Aren't I on the road to perfection and aren't I closer to my destination than ever? Then why do I feel this way?  
* * * Harry stood by the foot of the staircase, anxiously waiting for Cho. She wasn't late, yet something felt very heavy in his stomach, and this was mingled with a sense of foreboding and dread, causing his stomach to churn uncomfortably. Though he didn't want to admit it, Cho was causing all of this internal conflict, albeit unintentionally.  
They hadn't been on a date since the Christmas Ball (if that even counted as a date), and her absence was beginning to worry him. Had he done something wrong to cause her affections to wane? It was true, however, that he had once taken to looking away from her. Though she was once quite a sight to behold, Cho was now skinny beyond prettiness, and she wore the look of a starved child. But after receiving a lecture from Celeste on not paying enough attention, he started approaching her after classes again, but even then it was not the same. She hardly looked up into his eyes anymore and instead stared at her feet. Cho was constantly running her fingers through her hair, and this Harry found very irksome. Her face had taken on a wilted quality, and on those rare occasions he caught her eye, he could almost see someone else behind them, as if Cho no longer inhabited her own body. What she was up to, though, Harry hadn't any idea. He sometimes assumed it was some sort of problem girls had and that he had absolutely no business in it.  
But as clueless as he was about members of the opposite sex, he had a feeling this wasn't just a girl thing. Around the end of February, he had received a letter from Celeste and it had instilled fear in Harry.  
  
Dear Harry,  
Cho might not like me writing to her boyfriend, but this is urgent and very important and I don't know who to tell this to other than you.  
I don't have a clue what she's doing, to be honest, but it's nothing good. You see, last night, I woke up in the middle of the night to find that Cho was going to bathroom. Okay, there's nothing wrong about that, right? The next morning, after I wake up and adjust to my surroundings, I suddenly realize Cho isn't in her bed. Fearing she never returned from the bathroom, I put on my bathrobe and was going to go straight to Professor Flitwick's office to tell him that she had disappeared. But on my way out, I found that she was lying on the sofa. I shook her gently, telling her to wake up, but after five minutes of doing this, she still wasn't awake. I began to lightly slap her cheeks, and it was only after about twenty or thirty times after doing this did she wake up. I asked her why she never went back to her own bed, and Cho seemed really confused as to what had happened the night before. And it took her a while to figure out where she was. I was convinced she hadn't merely fallen asleep on the sofa but passed out. She continued to deny this.  
Then she just walked back up the dormitory and left me, sitting there, trying to figure things out. But then I heard a crash upstairs and I dashed up to the dormitory and found Cho crumpled on the floor, that music box you gave to her a while back lying a little further off. I asked her what was wrong and she went into this whole thing, telling me she didn't know what she was doing.  
Like I said, I don't know what she's up to, but I suspect it's got something to do with that mad diet of hers. Harry, when you're talking to her, just try and be extra gentle and patient. She's going through a rough time right now but what might be causing all of this, I am none the wiser.  
  
Thanks,  
  
Celeste  
  
He was going to do exactly as she told him to do, "be extra gentle and patient", but he could only do that when she was actually talking to him.  
* * * It's absolutely hopeless, Cho thought as she sat on her bed, the Ravenclaw Tower now deserted. The younger students were at dinner, and those in their fifth year and up were at the ball. Though she was five minutes late, she didn't care. Even with her makeup on and a sufficient amount of rest (having finally taken a Sleeping Potion the night before), she looked horrible. I could never face Harry like this, she thought. He could never love me.  
Unwillingly, she walked down the corridor and into the Great Hall, where Harry, looking as gorgeous as ever, was waiting.  
* * * "What's she done to herself?" Ron whispered as a trembling Cho walked down the staircase, her hand on the railing to support herself.  
Harry wasn't too sure what the answer was. The diet, though it had once sculpted her body for the better, had taken all of Cho's beauty and distinctive personality and tossed it out. He thought that if he ever saw anyone that had been kissed by a dementor, that person would look very much like Cho did now.  
As she drew closer, however, he immediately felt embarrassed for his thoughts. Despite all the life that had been sucked out of her, she was still trying to maintain an air of dignity and one who was still trying to live.  
"Hi," she said quietly, panting ever so slightly. "Sorry I'm late."  
"It's - it's okay," he stuttered, amazed how different she looked from the Cho he had once known. "Er - shall we leave then?"  
"Um, yeah, fine."  
* * * In the presence of Harry, Cho felt obliged to act at least a little more lively, but her mind wasn't on the ball. Her mind seemed fogged and in limbo; she wasn't quite sure where she was anymore. Was she there with everyone else, those chattering folk heading to the ball, or was she living within her own head, completely void of others, its only inhabitant Cho?  
"So, they're serving dinner at this one?" she asked, knowing very well how stupid that question sounded from the mouth of one who hadn't eaten a proper dinner in what seemed like ages.  
"I think they're using the same system of serving food used during the Yule Ball. What, are you finally going to eat?" he asked, immediately regretting having done so. Hadn't Celeste told him to be kinder with Cho?  
"No, I need to - " she started, but catching her tongue just in time. "I need to continue to diet."  
"Well, not to offend you," Harry said as gently as he could when dealing with an issue as sensitive as this, "but I think you need to stop dieting. You look, erm, you look great already, and you don't need to diet anymore."  
"Oh, but I think I do," Cho replied in an oddly distant voice.  
Well, if it's one thing she still has of her old life, it's her stubbornness, Harry thought. Well, no use to keep on trying if that's all she's going to say.  
They passed the hospital wing, and Cho remembered guiltily about the time Professor McGonagall had asked her to pay a visit to Madam Pomfrey. Everyone filed into the same room used for the Christmas Ball, but it was filled with small, circular tables that could seat four to a table. Harry, Cho, Celeste, and Ron sat down at the one nearest to the garden door ("For convenience purposes," Celeste muttered, causing Ron to turn red). Celeste looked very pleased Hermione and Malfoy were only a few tables down.  
Dumbledore launched into his speech, which was very similar to the one he gave during the Christmas Ball, and the only major difference being he mentioned dinner would be served. As he said this, Celeste gave Cho an almost sympathetic look.  
The music started, but Harry made no motion to ask Cho to dance, disappointing her slightly. Well, maybe, she thought, I'll give him some time.  
* * * "D'you want to dance?" Draco asked.  
"Fine," Hermione snapped, exasperated. She had already seen Ron and that Ravenclaw girl (she couldn't bring herself to even utter her name) dancing together, and she wasn't looking forward to being so close to them. Especially since another girl was in Ron's arms.  
"Looking at dear little Weasley again, are you?" he said, his voice taking on an unctuous tone.  
"Why do you care? You said if I could go out with him if I wanted to - "  
"Yes, but that there'd be a rather heavy price to pay," he said, calm as ever. "Also, I don't believe he'd take you, anyway."  
"What makes you say that?" she yelled, but her bewildered expression betrayed her.  
"Well, if you've been observant enough, you'll notice that our dear Weasley dancing with someone else. She seems to be pretty nice, even good- looking - to and extent, of course, she doesn't look like a pureblood to me - and what exactly in your mind convinces you that Weasley'll forsake someone like her - " He jabbed a finger in Celeste's direction " - for someone like you, who's betrayed and hurt him all in one year?"  
"Of course he'd dump that bitch for me! He."  
But Hermione couldn't find it in her heart to say, "He loves me." While she tried to convince herself many times that he really did care for her, his behavior during the Christmas Ball had more or less forced herself to admit that Ron probably lost all feelings he ever had for her. Oh, Ron, please come back, she thought. Ron, please.I'd do anything, I don't care what I'd have to do.just come back to me.I've been so stupid and so mistaken.please come back.  
"Well, no use waiting, dear," Draco said, smirking. "Let's dance, then. Try and present a nice image, shall we?"  
"No."  
"What's this?" he sneered in a mocking tone. "You refuse?"  
"Yes!" Hermione stood up, taking her wand out of her pocket and pointing it at him. "That's it! I've had enough! Enough of my stupidity.and enough of you! This is what I think of you, oh mighty pureblood." She spat on the ground. "Go then! Go and date those bloody Slytherin girls! Go ahead! I don't care anymore! I don't care if you tell! Go bloody publish it in the bloody Daily Prophet for all I bloody care!"  
Crabbe and Goyle made threatening moves at Hermione, but Draco stopped them, looking highly amused.  
"Boys, let's here what she's got to say first, then you can beat the Mudblood to a pulp."  
"I was so stupid to actually let you convince me to do this! And you - you bastard! I hope you die, oh yes, I hope you suffer in your life, and I hope that one day you'll learn what it feels like to be on the bottom. And I hope you get all T's on your O.W.L.s!"  
At this, Draco's face was twisted with fury, and if Hermione hadn't been releasing all the bottled-up anger that had been inside her for so long, she would have been terrified of his countenance.  
"Alright then," he said rather smoothly. "If that's the case, go ahead, Crabbe and Goyle."  
They launched themselves at Hermione but she Stunned them easily and then turned around to face Malfoy.  
"Keep talking!" she screamed. "Keep talking, then, if you want to end up like them!"  
Draco said nothing, but in a flash, he had his wand out and yelled, "Expelliarmus!" Hermione was too quick for him, though. She quickly blocked it, and her Shield Charm was so strong, the force of the rebounding spell sent Draco flying across the room. He landed with an umph, his brilliant blond hair sticking up at odd angles and his usually pale face flushed.  
"You'll pay for that, Granger!" he yelled, but she paid no attention.  
Oh, I hope Ron saw that, she thought with relish.  
"RON! RON!" she screamed amidst the dancing couples, completely ignoring Malfoy. "RON! WHERE ARE YOU?"  
"Oh, look who it is. Mrs. Malfoy, how are you?" Celeste said, raising an eyebrow, while Ron seemed shocked that Hermione was alone.  
"Oh, Ron, could you please go outside with me? I need to talk to you," Hermione pleaded.  
"Come to tell me I'm worthless and not in the right mind?" he mocked.  
"But.but Ron, I - I Disarmed Dra - I mean, Malfoy.didn't you see?" she said, not daring to believe what was staring her right in the face.  
"Come here to show off then? Well, can't you do it in front of some other guys? I'm sure there are plenty of them who'll put with it. But I won't 'cause I'm a little busy at the moment, if you couldn't tell," he said coldly.  
"Ron.I - oh! You're impossible!" She marched right up to him and pulled Celeste away. "Ron, I've been wanting to do this for a while."  
She put her arms around his neck and kissed him. For a long time, neither of them moved. Celeste had to resist not smiling with triumph, knowing her plan had succeeded.  
But then something happened that she and Hermione never expected. When Celeste would think of her plan in the years to come, she would think to herself how she couldn't see this obvious and outstanding flaw.  
In a second, Ron tore Hermione's hands away and slapped her with such force she staggered right into Celeste, both of them toppling over. Hermione looked horror-struck, as did Celeste.  
"Ron?" she said softly, hoping all her pent-up pain and anguish wouldn't escape her at that moment.  
"So that's what you expected, wasn't it?" he yelled bitterly. "You thought that a bloody kiss would change it all, right? That everything you've said to me, the way you acted, would all be washed way just because you kissed me? That you'd be welcomed back even after all you've done? I didn't think you were so naïve, Hermione. I thought you had more brains than that, but then again, you dated a Slytherin. What to expect?"  
He stormed away.  
"Hermione, are you okay?" Celeste asked softly.  
"Why do you care anyway?" she sobbed. "You're his girlfriend, after all."  
"Actually, I'm not."  
"What's that supposed to mean? I saw you snogging, so don't even try to lie, even if you are trying to make me feel better! Not that I deserve any sympathy."  
"I'm not lying," Celeste said flatly. "What happened between Ron and me, it was a ruse, okay? It was a ploy, one to get you to realize your true feelings. I knew you didn't like Malfoy. Anyone as smart as you would have better sense, so I knew there was something wrong."  
"Why did you do that for me, even after I treated you all like house elves?" she muttered, wiping away her tears.  
"Hermione, would you like to come outside for a bit? We need to do a little bit of talking." After they had both sit down, Celeste faced a still-weeping Hermione. "I want to be a Healer when I leave Hogwarts, and it's what I've always wanted to do. I want to help people using my knowledge and there's no better place to start training than at school. I've done a little, well, research, and I know there's something going on, something that drove you to Malfoy. Like I've said Cho before, the only way you can truly help someone is to understand that person. So, go ahead and tell me. I swear I won't repeat what you say to anyone else, even Cho."  
"Wait, how d'you know there's something was something going on between me and Malfoy?" she asked suspiciously.  
"Oh, I did some eavesdropping, that's all," Celeste said impatiently, rolling her eyes. "Wait, does that bother you?"  
"No, it doesn't, I guess, knowing it was for my own good."  
"Now tell me: what's been going on this entire year?"  
* * * "Harry," Cho repeated meekly.  
But he was paying no attention to her. Instead, he was immersed in conversation with a Hufflepuff nearby.  
"Darling?" she said a little louder.  
"What is it now, Cho?" he said uncaringly.  
Why is he talking to me like that, she thought. Does this have to do with my diet? Why is he acting like this?  
"Harry." But words failed her. She hadn't the strength, emotionally and physically, to explain all that had happened. How was she supposed to tell him how this all started, feeling out of place in Harry's life? How was she supposed to articulate this gigantic idea when she could hardly say a word? "Harry," she said again, much louder.  
"WHAT?" he yelled, standing up. "I don't want to talk to you right now, okay?"  
"But I need to - to tell you about - " Her heart was beating painfully and her head was spinning slightly, but Cho was determined to get the words out if it was the last thing she did. "You need to know - about - the diet - I'll explain."  
In an instant, the atmosphere changed. Harry was kneeling on the floor, cupping Cho's thin hands in his, and looking gravely concerned.  
"You - you're going to explain why you went on the diet then?" he said slowly.  
"Yes, I will. Can we go outside - the garden?" she asked, finding she could only draw short breaths.  
He led her outside, and Cho struggled to stay on her feet. What's wrong with me? The roses seem a little blurry - were they always like that? Little pink spots on green?  
"So, what about the diet?"  
"Please, can we sit down?" she asked desperately and swaying on the spot. After settling down, Harry asked her the question again. "Well, where to start? It - goes so far back."  
Well, it all started after that Hogsmeade trip at the end of September. I saw Hermione with so many people around her and I realized that as superficial as she is, she's still smart, and it was then that I wanted to be perfect so that you, my dear Harry, would love me and think of me as your equal. After all, you've done so many great and courageous things, things I would never dream of doing, and your standard for friends must be very high.  
But that's not right, is it? I've always wanted to do well.so I suppose it starts with my childhood, but I told you that already, right?  
Okay, so we'll start with Hogsmeade.  
Cho opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. And suddenly her head was bursting and spinning with pain she had never experienced before.Harry fell in and out of focus.she could feel herself slipping off the bench.she knew she was going to fall.her head would crack open, due to either the excruciating pain or in impact of bone on pavement or maybe both.she felt two strong hands pulling her back.  
"Cho? CHO? What's wrong?"  
It was Harry, who was some distance away, but he couldn't help her now.she was beyond the point of salvation.  
"Must - hospital," she panted, running as fast as she could back inside the ballroom, hoping with all her might her this dizziness wouldn't leave her disoriented to the point she couldn't find her way to the nurse's office.  
She could hardly see anything ahead of her, only blurs where people might be. She heard the occasional, "Cho, are you okay?" but they mattered not. Nothing mattered. Professor McGonagall was right. She should have gone to the hospital wing.  
Cho staggered into the dim corridor, her world plunged into the dark, and heard a sneering voice behind her.  
"What's this? Are you blinded?" Othello mocked.  
"Please - help," she managed to say, the headache growing worse with every passing second. "Tell me - please - tell."  
"Tell you what?"  
"Harry?"  
"It's the Great Caesar, thank you very much. I don't have a foul scar on my forehead. But wait, you're blinded."  
"Harry."  
"Cho, what's wrong?"  
Yes, even in her indistinct world, her head exploding with pressure and pain, not knowing if she could last another minute before dying, she knew his voice. Cho collapsed and tried to get back up.  
"Harry?"  
"Yes?"  
"Tell me - hospital wing."  
She heard nothing in response. That was it then. She would die in this very corridor, surrounded by her worst enemy, surrounded by the one she loved, so close to the place that might still save her.  
"Tell me - please - can't."  
"What, do you know what she wants?"  
"Me? I don't give a damn."  
"Please."  
She heard footsteps ringing against the floor.please, take me out of this misery, just end it all, end it all now before I have to endure anymore.I can't.  
"Cho? It's Celeste. Oh, damn, I should have kept a better watch on you. I knew something like this would happen. Harry, what's she been saying?"  
"Something about the hospital wing, but I don't know what she wants about the hospital wing."  
Wouldn't her best friend come and help.but no.she had no best friend.she was dying.no one wants to be best friends with an emaciated corpse.but was there still a chance.that maybe.could she still make it?  
"Hospital - WHERE?" she yelled with all the air she could muster from her lungs.  
She fell to the floor again, wheezing and panting.someone.just kill me.end this.I don't want anymore of this.I hate my life.just end this.I don't want to endure anymore of this pain.  
"It's the second door to the right, Cho. Would you like me to take you there?"  
Celeste.her once best friend.was she still her best friend.if she was.Celeste.end it for me.use the wand.kill me please.I can't take this anymore.  
"Yes, please."  
The pain in her head grew stronger, it throbbed against her skull, she couldn't see anything, and she hadn't the strength to open her eyes.  
She felt a door in front of her.she might yet be saved.  
She pulled herself up and banged on the door, yelling, trying to make herself heard, "LET ME IN! LET ME IN! I'M SICK - DYING - " and feeling the tears come.yes, she had enough strength to cry, was that it? She always did, she could always cry, right?  
The door opened suddenly and she heard a cross, "What's all the fuss about?"  
Cho stumbled in and before she could walk one step further, tumbled to the floor in a dead faint, whatever light remaining of her word extinguished. 


	10. The Third Task Untwisted

Chapter Ten: The Third Task Untwisted  
  
Something rustled above her.what could it be? The Snitch, of course! She waved a hand wildly, knowing if she caught it Davies would be pleased.and she wouldn't have to listen to another lecture.  
"Put that hand down, Miss Chang! You're going to blind someone!"  
Cho tried to rub her eyes but her arms wouldn't move at all. She wrenched her eyes open and saw the sunlight streaming in through the high windows off to the side. Am I in heaven, she thought vaguely. She was aware of someone - or something - bustling around her. An angel? But she recognized the plump figure as Madam Pomfrey.  
"Don't know what she's been doing to herself," the nurse muttered to herself. "Completely emaciated.and from what I've heard from Flitwick, she's a good student. Huh, anyone as smart as her would have come here earlier.it's amazing she didn't die.her heart could have just stopped working at any moment."  
"What have I been doing?" Cho said softly, now quite awake but still feeling very cold and shaky.  
"You have been starving yourself, haven't you?"  
"I - I haven't," she said slowly, trying to remember what Madam Pomfrey was talking about. "I'm.just fine, really."  
" 'Just fine', eh? So I suppose, to you, falling onto the floor - nearly killing yourself - is a 'fine' thing."  
" 'Falling on the floor' - ? OH MY GOD!"  
Images flickered through her head, a jumble of color and darkness.the Easter Ball.she knew Professor McGonagall and everyone else had been right - she needed help - banging on the door, wondering why no one was coming.was she really that lost? She needed help, and no one was there. Then the door opened, and.  
Cho's head whipped around, surveying the room, and only realized at that moment she was in the hospital wing.  
I am saved.  
She tried to get out of the bed, but her ankle got twisted in the sheets, causing her to fall to the floor, moaning with pain. Madam Pomfrey bustled over, a disapproving look upon her stern face.  
"You will not be leaving this bed without permission, understand?" she said, dragging Cho back onto the bed.  
"But why? What's wrong with me then?"  
"I'll tell you after you have your breakfast."  
She laid a tray of food in front of Cho, who cringed at the sight and smell of it. Not that, she thought bitterly, not that. It's poison, it is. It'll ruin everything. You can't let a little fainting spell put you off track.  
"I will not eat that," she insisted. "You can stuff it down my throat, if it'll make you happy, but the next time you'll let me go to the bathroom, I'll just throw it all up. I won't eat that."  
"Yes, you will, or the next thing for you is a coffin and a pretty headstone. Now eat."  
"I won't."  
"Eat it - now."  
"I WON'T!" she screamed. Why can't anyone understand me? I can't eat this! Drawing another breath to continue pressing her point, however, she found that she could not utter a word and was panting heavily. "Why - the - hell?" she gasped, clutching her chest. "Why you can't do anything physically vigorous anymore? Or even scream?" "Yeah, why?" A wave of sadness and pity passed over Madam Pomfrey's face, as she seemed to search for the right words. "You were on a diet, weren't you?" "Who told you that?" "Your best friend, dear. Celeste, isn't that her name? Well, you've let an innocent-looking diet run its own course, and it's brought you to where you are now." Which is on the road to perfection, you idiot, Cho thought. "My dear, you have anorexia nervosa." "Ana - what's that?" "Well, anorexia is as much a mental disorder as well as a physical one. No one can just say, 'Oh, I want to have anorexia' and will get it. It starts simply as a diet. If you have this disease, first, you're unaware of it and you're somehow convinced food is evil and will ruin everything. The diet sort of takes over your mind, in a sense, and even if you know it's wrong, you'll keep dieting to the point where nothing might be eaten at all! And the results of this can be catastrophic. "What's happening is, because your body isn't getting any nutrition or not getting enough of it, it'll begin to eat away at itself so it can remain as healthy as it possibly can, and the first thing it eats away at is your muscles. That's why you've been feeling weak, and I'm guessing you found climbing all those staircases tiring. "Other symptoms include just passing out, dizziness, and, if the disease has a very strong hold over you, your heart could simply stop beating and, yes, you could die. In other words, you just grow weaker and weaker. Now eat up. I know a lot of people would be terribly sad if you died." Cho found nothing she could possibly say, and Madame Pomfrey left the room. Is that what's been happening then? My body's been consuming itself? How come I couldn't feel it? Is there supposed to be some sort of gnawing feeling inside me? But as she denied what Madame Pomfrey had just told her, part of her - just a little sliver of her mind - knew that the gnawing feeling had always been there. It was the hunger that had stolen everything she once had. She had once been strong and athletic, the star of the Quidditch team, and now, only a scarecrow. She had once been beautiful, the desire of so many in the school, and now, almost shadow and vapor. She had once been a good friend, Celeste's best friend, but she had alienated everyone as she fell deeper and deeper into her own world where the only thing that mattered was not eating. And she knew that she had almost reached the sign that said, "No U-Turn." She had been wondering all of these months where It had gone, that internal conflict that had possessed her for as long as she could remember. Now she knew. She had become It. Her mind had been a slave to this unknown force inside of her, doing its every bidding. It had overpowered her and she had been willing to submit to its will. You're incredibly weak, you know that?  
Tears rolled down her cheeks as she watched a couple students outside frolicking on the grounds, soaking in the splendor of the grass and the sky, away in their own world, a world of perpetual sunshine and happiness, a world that she had, a very long time ago, once been a part of.  
* * * Stepping onto the scale later that week, Cho wondered how much she weighed. She had given up watching her weight, feeling that she would know when she had reached her ultimate goal.  
"Hmm, not as bad as what I originally thought," Madam Pomfrey mused aloud.  
"Then what did you think?" Cho muttered, not bothering to conceal her frustration.  
"Maybe fifty, sixty pounds."  
"And - how much do I weigh?" she said slowly, drawing a slow breath in anticipation.  
"Seventy-seven. You'll still need a lot of work though. That's entirely too light for someone as athletic and active as you are."  
Had someone told her she was seventy-seven pounds a week ago, Cho would have jumped as high as the Astronomy Tower in elation. But now, the number rang dully upon her ears. Numbers didn't matter. She didn't feel perfect. She felt more flawed than ever.  
"So, what do I have to do then?"  
"I thought someone as smart as you would find that obvious. You have to eat, of course," Madam Pomfrey said, smiling at Cho's horrified face, "but what I think is more important is convincing you that it's okay to eat. It's the mental part we need to work on, because once we've got that taken care of, trust me, you will be dying to eat. Plus, there's no point in stuffing you with food if, once you leave the hospital, you won't eat a crumb. Then we would have made no progress."  
So I'm going to have to reverse all of it, Cho thought desperately. All of the progress I've made, it's all going to disappear, and I'll be right back to where I started with Harry thinking I'm not good enough. Like I ever was.  
"Well, who's going to be my therapist-like person? There isn't a professional one in Hogwarts, is there?"  
"There isn't, but I do know someone who's just as good as one."  
* * * April came and went, as Celeste sat by Cho's bed in early May, trying again - unsuccessfully - to make her talk about what might have led to anorexia. Cho was obstinately looking down at her Charms book, scribbling away at the essay she was writing. Not even hospitalization could keep her away from her schoolwork, and as the N.E.W.T.s would be coming down upon her in a little over a year and it was the only thing that kept her going and focused. Her appetite had improved only a little - Cho was at least eating lunch - but she, so far, had gained only about five pounds since Madam Pomfrey had weighed her.  
"When did you start dieting?" Celeste asked, holding her quill to a Muggle clipboard with a piece of parchment on it.  
"I can't remember. October-ish, maybe?" Cho muttered, flipping to the back of her Charms book.  
"Why?" This had been the very word Cho had been trying to evade for weeks, explaining her entire rationale behind the insanity. "To feel better about yourself? To impress someone?" Cho refused to say a word. "Um, because you felt like you had absolutely nothing to do so you just decided one day to starve yourself? No, didn't think so." Celeste yawned, it still being rather early in the morning. "Okay, that's it. I give up. We'll try again next time, shall we?"  
"Fine," Cho said tonelessly, putting her name at the top of the essay and rolling up the parchment.  
As Celeste opened the door, she turned around and faced Cho with a rather sly grin on her face.  
"Oh, its' Harry. He's come to visit, Cho."  
Her heart raced wildly, her breath coming in short and sharp gasps. Not Harry! I can't let him see me like this! Oh, this is not perfection! Perfection isn't lying on a damn hospital bed doing homework! But he entered, regardless of Cho's jumbled thoughts, a look of pity and concern on his face.  
"Hi," he said softly, lingering by the door, his eyes flickering over her thin frame.  
"Are you just going to stand there and look at me like I'm in a freak show?" Cho said, her eyes welling up with tears.  
"No, I - there's something I need to tell you, something I've been needing to tell you since the beginning of the year," he said, sitting down where Celeste was just a moment ago. "Look, remember, on the Hogwarts Express, when I told you what happened to Cedric?"  
"Yes," she replied, wondering why Harry would be talking about Cedric. After all, he had always steered away from the topic.  
"Well, I think that you, well - okay, if I'm wrong, no offense - but if you never found out what really happened to him, like how he died, you wouldn't have gone out with me in the first place. Er, am I right in saying that?"  
Cho had never really considered that though. Was it really the revelation about Cedric's death that allowed her to be freed of his memory and shadow? What would it have been like if she had never learned what really happened? Cho could see herself weeping uncontrollably on her bed, the darkness enveloping her, crushing her.  
"Yeah, I guess."  
Harry looked extremely uncomfortable.  
"Well, the thing is, you never should have gone out with me."  
Cho almost laughed.  
"Don't tell me you're denying our love now, even though I'm wasting away in the hospital wing. Darling, I'll always love you," she said, the first real smile appearing on her face in days. She reached out for his hand, but he pulled back. "Harry?" she asked quietly, the smile now gone. "What's wrong?"  
"It's not your fault, I swear!" he said, standing up and pacing around the room. "It's all my fault! I never should've - I never - never should have, well - " He took a deep breath and said very quickly, "I never should have lied to you."  
"Pardon?"  
"I lied to you, okay?"  
"But - lied about what?" Cho said, hopelessness holding her in its strangling grip.  
"About Cedric! He didn't die the way I told you, he just snuffed it right there! He didn't get to duel Voldemort, he was killed before he could do anything! And I'm really, really sorry for telling you what obviously isn't right and I know I shouldn't have done it - "  
"Then why did you?" she said, cutting him short. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to feel.  
"You just - you just seemed like you wanted him to be portrayed as some hero and - I really, I've always cared for you Cho, and I wanted you to be happy."  
"But you know the only thing I would ever be happy with is the truth," she said, amazed she could remain so calm.  
Harry wanted to say more, to elaborate how horrible he had been feeling, how his stomach would churn ever so slightly whenever he lay eyes on Cho, knowing she was only his because of the lie he told. But the ethereally impassive look on her face told him she wished to hear no more.  
It was only until she heard the door click did she allow herself to throw her Charms book across the room in anger and self-hatred for believing a lie and letting herself being so carried away with it, to let the tears come, burning her face, to think that she had dishonored Cedric the entire year all because of one lie, that she had gone through all of these ordeals to please Harry under the cover of a lie.  
Celeste immediately hurried in, holding her best friend close and telling her everything would turn out fine.  
After the storm of tears had subsided, Cho slumped back onto the pillows, staring glumly out of the window, occasionally sniffing.  
"What did Harry tell you?" Celeste asked, hoping she wasn't being too demanding on a person who had obviously just suffered a terrible blow.  
"Why did you stay outside the door?" she asked in reply.  
"Because I saw Harry didn't look too happy. I stayed outside, you know, just in case anything bad happened."  
"Thanks," Cho muttered, absentmindedly playing around with the edge of her sheets.  
"So, what did he tell you? Or is that private and confidential stuff I'll never get out of you?"  
Cho turned around to face Celeste, and for a split second, she considered not telling. But then she remembered Harry was now gone and her friend was the only person left in maybe the entire world who still cared enough to spend hours by her bedside.  
"Well, remember on the Hogwarts Express, I went to Harry to ask him what had happened to Cedric during the Third Task?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Well, did I ever tell you what Harry told me?"  
"You might have. At that point in time, I really didn't care about Harry, to be frank."  
"Well, me either, but anyway, he told me - " Cho took a deep breath, remembering too vividly the moment Harry had told her what she thought was the truth " - well, he told me that Cedric had tried to save him and then was killed by You-Know-Who."  
"That's great! Cedric's my new hero!"  
"Yeah, he would be had that actually happened," Cho spat resentfully. The smile on Celeste's face faded. "But he lied. What really happened was.he just died. He didn't duel You-Know-Who, didn't try and save Harry, he just died before he could do anything."  
"And did Harry tell you why he lied?"  
"Because he probably thought I was looking all pathetic and tried to make me feel better - "  
" - which he succeeded wonderfully at. You realize that, even if Harry did lie - and I'm not saying lying is a good thing - if he hadn't told you this bullshit story, you would have never gotten over Cedric. And from where I'm standing, putting up with a lie is a small price to pay for something like getting over your dead boyfriend. Honestly, I didn't think you'd ever do that, but Harry managed to get you over that obstacle."  
"But the point still exists that he lied!" she yelled. Would no one listen to her?  
"Ah, can't get over that, can you? Well, take this example, will you? The two of us go shopping at Gladrags, and I find this shirt I totally love. I try it on and ask you what you think of it. However, you think I look absolutely horrid, but you would never say that to me, right? You would never say, 'Celeste, I think you look absolutely horrid.' You'd put it in gentler terms, right? Either, 'It looks good' or maybe, 'Try something else on.'"  
"But saying 'try something else' is telling the truth, isn't it?"  
"Yes, but look at it this way. Had Cedric not have died when he did, and someone did attack Harry, do you think Cedric would have just stood there? No, I think - and I'm almost positive you think this too - he would have tried to save Harry, even if he had to risk his own life. So, really, Harry was probably only half-lying. And when you would say, 'Try something else,' that's half-lying as well. Yes, you are telling the truth, but you're not saying it's a bad shirt. You're instead saying that there might be something better to wear. In essence, you're not explicitly stating I look horrible."  
"Oh, I'm confused!"  
"Then let me boil all of it down for you. Harry lied to you not so he could hurt you, but because he had your self-interest in mind. He wanted to make you feel better. And I daresay he succeeded."  
"No, he hasn't. It's because of him I'm in this hellhole."  
A sudden scratching of the quill coming from Celeste's direction told Cho that she shouldn't have said that.  
"Well, I won't pursue that last point you made about being in all this mess because of your boyfriend. You've told me quite a bit already. I'll be back tomorrow, then, and I hope I'll be able to dig up more gossip- worthy material. Don't worry, whatever is discussed between us will stay between us, okay? That is, unless you'd like me to report all of this to Teen Witch. Take care!"  
Celeste left the room with Cho trying to sort through her very confused thoughts.  
* * * "Is Ron ever going to talk to me again?" Hermione whimpered as she and Harry finished their Astronomy essay.  
"At this rate, I'd say give it ten years," Harry said, Cho's too-calm- to-be-plausible face still etched in his mind.  
"Oh, I've been such an idiot this year!"  
"And that's why you've been going out with Malfoy and acting like slut?"  
Hermione turned a bright pink.  
"Is that what you and Ron have been thinking?"  
"To be perfectly honest, yes. We were more than fed up with you at one point."  
"Well, at more than one point, I was very fed up with myself," she retorted.  
"Then why did you do it? If you were so angry with yourself, why didn't you just stop doing whatever it was you were doing?"  
"Because - oh! The story's way too long and you wouldn't get it either. I think it's just a girl thing."  
"Is that what you didn't want Malfoy to tell anyone? This 'way too long' story?"  
"How d'you know about that?"  
"Eavesdropping," he remarked casually.  
"With Celeste?"  
"Oh, so now you're acquainted with Ron's so-called girlfriend?"  
"Yes, and she's really nice too.  
"Does she know your story?"  
"Actually, she does. I told her during the Easter Ball, after I broke up with Malfoy. She understood everything, not like that Cho. She's been acting funny lately, hasn't she?" Harry looked very hurt indeed, and Hermione caught sight of that. "Oh, sorry, I forgot you were going out with her. Are you two still together?"  
"Yeah."  
"I hear she's been in the hospital wing and she'll have to go to St. Mungo's soon. Is that true? All of these Hogwarts rumors get crazier and crazier."  
"No, she's doing better," he said hoarsely, wondering if Cho would ever arrive at the point where she would actually have to leave Hogwarts to get help. Hermione opened her mouth to say more, but froze at the sight of Ron climbing through the portrait hole. "Don't do anything stupid again," Harry muttered off to the side.  
"Oh, I won't, believe me," she said hastily, looking flushed. "Ron!" But he continued to walk as if he could not hear her. "Ron! Come here! Oh, honestly!" She marched up to him and grabbed him roughly by the shoulders.  
"Don't do anything stupid!" she heard Harry hiss from the corner.  
"Ron, are you ever going to talk to me?"  
"Why should I? It's doing so much good!" he yelled.  
"Ron, Celeste didn't come up with a brilliant plan for you just to treat me like rubbish. You're lucky to have someone who cares about you that much, by the way. She came up with that plan so you could have what you wanted.which is me, right?"  
"Never one to bother with modesty, were you?" he spat.  
"But what I'm saying is correct, isn't it?" she persisted, determined to get her point through. "She wanted you and I to be together because that was the whole point, wasn't it? You're wasting a tremendous gift, Ron. You have, right now, the opportunity to ask me out if you want to, and if you're just going to throw it away, well, you're throwing away what Celeste went through so much to give you. Trust me, I know what it's like to kiss someone you don't really fancy."  
"Yeah, how would you know that?"  
"Because I never liked Malfoy. It was an, well, an agreement we reached, and going out with him was part of my side of the deal."  
"You made an agreement with him?" he yelled angrily, and Hermione hoped that anger was directed at Malfoy and not her.  
"Well, yes, I did. And you know what? I would tell you all of the details, but I can't while you're about to explode," she said pompously, turning around and marching up to the girls' dormitory.  
"She - missed - misses the point completely - I'm not going to explode - I haven't exploded - ever - " he sputtered, while Harry quickly changed a laugh into a cough. "So, er, mate, how did your meeting with Cho go?"  
"Well, I think we've might have unofficially broken up."  
* * * Celeste was sitting by Cho's bed again the next day, but Cho did not have any schoolbooks out. She was ready to tell her best friend what she should have told her months ago.  
"So, when did all of this start, this pleasing Harry?" she asked, completely serious.  
"Well, you know my childhood, right? Trying to make my parents happy? Well, I guess everything just stems from there because I love them with all my heart, but they don't care one bit about me. So, I've always had doubts as to whether people really like me, except when it came to you. And I've always been a little jealous of Hermione, right?"  
"Okay, but I already knew that."  
"I know, I know, don't rush me. So, during that first Hogsmeade trip, when Harry and I were in the Three Broomsticks, Hermione and her little group came in, and I was just struck by the fact that even though she completely disgusts me, she is Harry's friend and very well-liked by a lot of people, not to mention super intelligent. And I realized, for the first time, what kind of company Harry keeps. I mean, first there's himself, the boy who lived. He's done all these great things I'd never do in a lifetime. Then Ron, and even though some people see him as subordinate to Harry, he's a hero in his own right. And Hermione, well, she's smart and pretty and all. And I suddenly felt like I wasn't good enough for him and he was only going with me because he felt sorry for me - you know, Cedric and all.  
"Then that coupled with the fact I've always been a perfectionist, and I was convinced that Harry would only like me if I were perfect. And that's generally it. Does that sound stupid to you?"  
"Not remotely, but I have to say, there has to be more to it."  
"Fine. Well, I knew I had to be perfect in everything, but that'd be too big to take on at once, so I decided to be perfect academically first, but that didn't last very long. And I remember I went to the bathroom to cry. Then I realized I could still be perfect on the outside - my appearance."  
"And what triggered this change of heart, going from academia to what shade of lipstick you're going to wear?"  
"Well, it's hard to explain. A lot of times, it felt like there was some force telling me what to do, and it was that force that dictated what I would do. I thought that even if I couldn't be perfect in school, I could at least look great."  
"But you already do. An informal poll show that most of the guys in the school find you highly attractive."  
"What? Where did you get that from?"  
"Never mind, it was from last year when I asked people whether or not they'd go to the Yule Ball with you if they got the chance. But like I said, people do think you're beautiful."  
"It wasn't my facial features I was worried about. It was.my weight."  
"Ah, so I thought."  
"And, it started out okay. Harry seemed to like me better, so I thought: Well, if he likes me at this weight, then imagine what it'd be like if I weighed even less. And that just sort of drove me to the point where, well, you saw what happened during the Easter Ball. Along the way, I sometimes thought that what I was doing wasn't right and that I should stop, but in the end, I was always able to convince myself that the hunger and pain was all worth it, and that Harry would love me.  
"So, what happened to that 'outside force' that was driving you to do all if that?"  
"I guess, I'm not sure exactly what happened, but I think that near the end, it just sort of took over my mind and I didn't really know who I was anymore. All that mattered was staying thin and losing pounds. I - I ignored everyone, what they say, even - even you. McGonagall told me once, after class, that I should go to the hospital wing, but I didn't go. In retrospect, I think I should have listened to her."  
"What did you really want out of all of this though? It's not all about appearance, is it? I know you're not that shallow."  
"Just to hear Harry tell me I mean everything to him, regardless of my mistakes, because he means everything to me. Well, and you too, but in a different sense. But I know he could never say anything like that, especially now that I look like a skeleton."  
"Going to start eating then?"  
Cho paused. She knew that was what she needed to do, what everyone wanted her to do, an important step on the path of recovery, but thinking of chicken still caused chills to run through her. Something was still pulling at her.  
"I - I suppose I am," she said quietly. "But then, after I'm out of this bloody hospital at last, I'll have to try something different."  
"WHAT? 'SOMETHING DIFFERENT'?"  
Celeste jumped to her feet, and the clipboard that was resting in her lap clattered against the floor.  
"Hey, calm down, or Madam Pomfrey'll probably have you kicked out. Well, academics didn't work, appearance didn't work, there's got to be something left. Manners?"  
"Yes, there is," Celeste said in a much softer tone (finally sitting down, as well). "You can stop this entire thing right now. And if you don't, then whatever progress you made will be nullified."  
"But Harry - he'll never like me!"  
"I know he does, okay? If you don't believe him, I'll just ask him tomorrow if he could come and visit you."  
"But I just have to, Celeste."  
"It's impossible to be perfect. No one's perfect. Get that through your head, because once you do that, once you get yourself back to where you were before this whole thing started, you'll be completely cured. That may take a while, so you better start now."  
"But Harry - "  
"I have a question for you Cho," interrupted Celeste. "If Harry came in here right now, and told you that he loved you with all of his heart, that he'd do anything and everything for you, in a completely sincere manner, would that help? You said that all you wanted was for him to tell you that."  
Cho didn't - and couldn't - reply.  
* * * "Hey, Celeste!" Hermione said brightly, waving her hand.  
"Hi, do you know where Harry is?" Celeste said briskly.  
"Oh, he's not here yet. Why?"  
"I really need to talk to him."  
"There he is!" Ron said through a mouthful of toast, accidentally spraying crumbs in Paravati's direction.  
"He's been kind of depressed since he talked to Cho. I don't know what's happening," Hermione said, looking worried. "D'you think you could help him?"  
"That's why I want to talk to him in the first place!" she called out as she began walking towards Harry.  
"Hey, Celeste, what are you doing here?"  
"Where were you?" she asked impatiently.  
"I went down to the hospital wing to try and visit Cho, you know, to clear up a few things, but Madam Pomfrey wouldn't let me in."  
"Oh, that's perfect! Go back!"  
"I just said she didn't let me in."  
"Tell her you're there on my order, okay? She always lets me in."  
"But I'm hungry!"  
"JUST GO!"  
Harry stumbled back to the hospital wing, and a very disgruntled Madam Pomfrey let him in.  
* * * Oh, goodness, it's Harry!  
Cho quickly looked at the mirror propped up on her nightstand. Her hair was a mess, having not yet brushed it, but it looked thicker and her face was much fuller, almost free of its haunted look.  
"Hi," he said, closing the door behind him. "I need to talk to you."  
"Well, so do I," she said. It was never this awkward talking to Harry.  
"But what I have to say is really important - "  
"Harry, I beg to differ," she interrupted, and before he could say another word, she launched into the story behind her madness.  
* * * Harry didn't think he had ever heard anything so shocking. Cho had put herself through all of this just for him? Not, not even for him, but a stupid lie he told when he should have just told the truth. Did she really care that much for him? How could he not have seen that everything she had done this year was for him, because she loved him and needed him with every fiber in her body?  
Cho continued with her story, but the only heard his selfishness, shame, and guilt echoing through him.  
* * * "So, yeah, that's it, I guess," she said, concluding her tale. "I just wanted to be accepted by you, by everyone. That's all I've wanted my whole life, really, just to be a part of something and to be liked without having to act all snobbish."  
"Cho, I'm - I'm really sorry. I wish I knew all of that.but, oh God, it's all my fault," Harry said, shaking his head and bringing Cho into his embrace.  
And as she gently drifted into his arms and felt them close around her, her body softened, melting into Harry, a swirl of love and forgiveness, of a couple so horrendously torn apart but floating back, rejoining as one. And suddenly, to Cho, something that had always obstructed her road in life dispersed, leaving nothing but the cleanest of air, the brightest of lights, and as Cho inhaled, sweet air filled her, spreading warmth to the very tips of her fingers, bringing peace to her rattled life. When she opened her eyes, the world seemed different, its colors startlingly glorious, a brilliant autumn day brought to her, the ceiling arching towards the sky, never-ending, stretching for as high as she could see, the sunbeams dancing around her, bathing her and Harry in a luminous glow.  
"Cho?"  
"Hmm?" she murmured softly, still savoring the radiance of her new world.  
"I love you. I have always, always loved you, exactly as you are, and even if you were perfect, I couldn't love you more than I do now."  
For the very first time in her life, Cho was fine with the tears rolling down her face. 


	11. Acclimation

Chapter Eleven: Acclimation  
  
"Hmm, ninety-two. Not as good as I would have liked, but.I suppose."  
Oh, please, just let me leave, Cho thought. I've seen more of the hospital wing this year than any other and I don't ever want to see it again.  
"But I have made progress, haven't I? Can't I leave?" she begged, knowing very well that her pleas would most likely bounce off the stolid nurse. "I eat now, maybe not as much I used to, but you said it was important not to overstuff myself at first, and that's what I've been doing. Gradually, like you said."  
"Still, you have a quite a bit to go before you reach your weight before you started dieting."  
"But I can't just stay here until I'm 115 pounds," Cho said, placing a gentle but sufficient emphasis on the word here. "You can trust me, I swear. I swear I'll eat if you just let me leave."  
"You might relapse into anorexia though. It has happened before, you know."  
"Well, it won't happen to me!" Cho said stubbornly, crossing her arms.  
"If I do let you go, however," Madame Pomfrey mused, more to herself than anyone (to Cho's frustration), "you will have to be put under careful supervision. Anymore weight loss will lead you right back here, and I'm sure you'd rather spend the rest of your year enjoying yourself."  
Cho nearly laughed.  
" 'Careful supervision'? What do you think Celeste's going to be doing, huh? Hanging out in the courtyard and smoking crack?"  
"No, I'm serious. It's nothing to be joking about, I assure you."  
Trying to maintain a solemn and concerned expression, she looked Madame Pomfrey right in eye.  
"I'm being serious too. I think I can take care of myself, and if I can't, well, what are friends for?"  
* * * "OW!" "Shh! Be quiet, Cho!"  
"I am quiet!" she hissed, hastily rubbing her stubbed toe. "Dammit, that hurt."  
"Your language, dear."  
"Shh! Be quiet, remember?"  
Creeping down the hall, Cho felt like a stranger. Hogwarts had always been her home, the place dearest to her life, and she never thought what it would be like to felt distanced and alienated from the ancient walls that had forever been her calming residence, a place to turn to for guidance and comfort. And now? The walls shunned her, turning away from her frail form, whispering from behind her, asking, "What is she doing here? Is she supposed to be here?" She could see Rowena Ravenclaw, her heroine, jeering, "And this girl is in my house? An utter disgrace!"  
It could have been worse.  
And that was exactly why Cho had decided to return back to life at Hogwarts at midnight, when the halls were free of their usual throngs of students pushing to and fro.  
When the halls were free of the gossip that was sure to flare up very soon.  
Once the school learned that Cho was back.  
But as she neared the Ravenclaw Tower, the feeling that she was an outcast to the castle gradually disappeared until only a powerful yearning was left within her, a yearning to be restored to her proper surroundings and to rest finally on her own bed and not a stiff hospital one, to slump in a couch by the fire, to be swept up in Hogwarts life.  
"Well, here we are!" Madame Pomfrey said, huffing and looking very relieved her charge had been safely delivered. "You know, I shouldn't have let you do this in the first place. It is against the rules, to be out of bed this late, and I don't know how I let you persuade me to take on this absolutely idiotic plan. I must be losing my touch. No one's going to care if you're back, well, I didn't mean it in that way. Of course, they'll care about you. What I mean was that no one'll notice you. No, not at all! Just keep your head down."  
But Madame Pomfrey hadn't realized Cho had just slipped into the Ravenclaw Tower, entirely deaf to the nurse's complaints.  
The blue couches clustered by the remnants of the fire, the high arching ceiling, the gilded window frames, it all washed over Cho in nostalgic waves, cleansing her of the past, the happy memories all coming back.laughing manically with Celeste over Divination homework, sharing the tale of her first kiss with Cedric, talking about Harry.  
"Cho?"  
Celeste was standing, hair disheveled, at the foot of the staircase leading up to the girls' dormitory.  
"Hey. Guess what?" Cho said softly, tears dripping onto the carpet.  
"Yeah?"  
"I'm home."  
* * * "What the hell are you doing here?" Solara yelled as soon as she saw a motionless figure in the bed that had been vacant for the past months.  
"Will you shut the hell up?" Celeste retorted as she pulled on her robes. "Cho needs her sleep."  
"Oh, so it's Cho," she mimicked, putting cruel emphasis on her roommate's name. "What, has she come back from the mental asylum? I heard she was in St. Mungo's and tried to kill herself - "  
"WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP? She doesn't need all of that crap your giving her!"  
"She deserves it, anyway, especially acting like an attention-seeking little bitch."  
"She was not doing that! You wouldn't understand, even if I told you. Your mind simply can't take anything more than gossip."  
Solara's face contorted into something ugly, and it was impossible to say whether she or Celeste displayed more hatred. However, the stalemate did not last for long.  
"Hey, Solara," Cho mumbled dazedly into her pillow having just awoken.  
"Hi," she replied stiffly, heading out of the dorm. "Hope you had a nice - vacation."  
" 'Vacation'? What is she talking about?" Cho asked, feeling like she had somehow appeared in the wrong place, but a quick survey of the place proved she was in the girls' dormitory.  
The bitterness on Celeste's face changed for a moment, and she wondered why her friend's face reflected - sympathy? Why sympathy of all things?  
"Look, there's something I know I should've told you," Celeste began, slowly sitting down on her bed, "but I didn't want to bother you when you already had so many troubles. See, the news that you - er - collapsed during the Easter Ball spread really quickly. I mean, you know what Hogwarts is like when it comes to gossip."  
"I know that was going to happen. People talk, don't they?" Cho interrupted angrily.  
"Just.don't cut me off, okay? Can I finish? So, anyway, you've heard some really crazy stuff around here, I know that. That's exactly what happened with you. People started believing you died or something."  
"But I didn't."  
"How would they know? I never told them anything you said to me during our little therapy sessions. I never told anyone anything. See, wouldn't you find it odd, that if this really beautiful and popular and athletic girl just fainted and wasn't seen again for months? That's what happened with you! And, of course, you being Harry's girlfriend, one myth became more well-known than any of the others."  
"So now." Cho pondered, knowing what Celeste was bound to say next.  
"Yeah, so now people consider you just like most people think of Harry. They think you're vying for attention as well."  
So this is what Harry feels like everyday, Cho thought.  
"But - you know I didn't do it for attention. If I had the choice, it wouldn't have happened at all."  
"Cho, of course I believe you. I'm Celeste, remember? I'm not some mental psychopath that wants to spread nasty rumors about you."  
But she heard none of this. All her work, her uphill struggle to escape the blanket that had smothered her since her childhood, was it all going to just end up being laughed at by the entire school? Of course, she knew she would be a popular subject of conversation of days, maybe weeks, to come after her return, but some part of her had hoped that maybe she would be praised for her industry. But no, she would probably spend the rest of her days at Hogwarts being teased, thanks to those uncontrollable rumors. True, there would always be Harry, Ron, and Celeste to support her, but what chance did four people have against hundreds, most who wouldn't believe the truth even if she told it to them?  
"Oh, it's all hopeless!" she moaned, throwing herself back onto her bed, sobbing hoarsely.  
"Hey, Cho, don't make such a big deal about it. Who gives a damn about what other people think?"  
"I hate them all, I hate them! Why couldn't I just have stayed in the hospital wing, away from it all? I mean, I don't care what they say, but when you know you've done something right and people still ridicule you for it - well, what do you do then, huh?" Glaring at Celeste, Cho was shocked that her friend was smiling lightly. Well, she always had that annoying habit of smiling in the face of something like this, she thought. "What's there to smile at?"  
"Do you know what inductive reasoning is, Cho?" she said, sounding slightly comical.  
"No, and I don't care what it is - "  
"Ah, but you will. Madame Pomfrey told me to watch over you, and I'm not going to let you beat yourself up again. Anyway, inductive reasoning is a Muggle principle used in what they call science. Science is sort of like our Potions class. Inductive reasoning is where you take a specific case or example and use it to prove general principles."  
"Dictionary, please."  
"See, when you were in the hospital, you were fighting against something: anorexia. It was hard, right? And there were times you knew you just couldn't make it, but you made it anyway."  
"Yeah? What does that have to do with what I'm facing now?"  
"Everything. Now, you're fighting against something again, but it's not within yourself. It's an exterior force: the rest of the school. I know it's going to be hard, and right now, I'm pretty sure you'd rather hide the dormitory than walk into the Great Hall. But, Cho, do you realize how successful you are?"  
"Yeah, I've been successful in exposing myself as the new laughingstock of the school."  
"Quit the sarcasm, will you? It's ruining my shining moment. You beat something inside you that nearly killed you, and if you hadn't gotten any help, it probably would have killed you after all. Compared to that, how hard is taking on people who know shit about what happened to you?"  
Cho rolled her eyes. Celeste was always dragging in these sort of metaphorical things. Dreading the time she would have leave the sheltered dormitory, she looked up at the clock. Not much time left for breakfast. She wouldn't be able to keep herself locked up here forever.  
As much as she denied this new example of her friend's never-ending optimism, a tiny spark of hope flared up in her. Cho, never having felt such a sensation inside of her, didn't know what to call it. Little by little, she realized that Celeste had been correct, like she always was. She had handled than probably the entire school combined - excluding Harry, of course. Who else had to deal with oppressive parents and lack of self- esteem? Who else had to deal with a life-threatening disease and the possibility of dying due to foolish actions? Who else had nearly lost all friends?  
The spark didn't burn out. Her thoughts kindled it and it burst into flame. It didn't scorch her but provided an uplifting feeling, warming her and her world.  
Suddenly, she knew what she was experiencing.  
Self-confidence.  
"Come on, Celeste," Cho said, jumping out of bed and grabbing her robe (having been magically adjusted to fit her expanding figure). "I'm hungry."  
* * * Harry had been thinking of Cho, more than usual, since admitting his true feelings to her a couple weeks ago. He had visited, or tried to visit, her only since then, and Madame Pomfrey hadn't allowed him to enter. "She's busy," she had said in her brusque way before shooing him back up the stairs. He wasn't too rattled; the nurse had a tendency of brushing visitors away, but prolonged silence on behalf of Cho's part startled him, and he was beginning to wonder if she'd ever get better.  
Ron, too, had been particularly moody. He seemed to be caught between holding a grudge against Hermione and forgiving her. Hermione, on the other hand, seemed perfectly normal again, occasionally mumbling about Paravati and her status as prefect, and often shot pitying looks in Ron's direction.  
This morning, they were back on the subject of Hermione again.  
"Why don't you just accept her apology?" Harry asked, reaching for the marmalade.  
"Because she was being a bitch," Ron snarled, accidentally spilling his porridge on Neville, who was sitting next to him.  
"She was being one.but not anymore!"  
"Better check if Celeste's still alive. You seem to be channeling her spirit."  
"If you don't ever forgive her, you'll probably never talk to her again. And you know, she could find another boyfriend.I'm not sure if she'd wait forever for you to come to your senses."  
"Why do you care about my love life, eh?"  
"'Cause I'm sick of you and Hermione hating each other. You know you want her, and you know she wants you." Ron scowled, but Harry was sure that, for an instant, his grimace twitched into something resembling a smile. "Did you know there's one last Hogsmeade trip coming up at the end of May? You could take Hermione."  
His face immediately brightened at the prospect.  
"You think? Really?"  
"Yeah!"  
"Well, I wouldn't go out with her if you gave me a thousand Galleons," he said sourly, turning gloomy again.  
"Ah, you can't escape from the love," Harry said in a wise voice.  
"And what about you and Cho?"  
Harry's spirits fell. Every conversation always led back to Cho.  
"Well, um, you know." He could never quite figure out what to say. "She.if she ever leaves the hospital, I guess I will."  
"Mate, you're in luck!"  
"Huh?"  
"Don't look at me!" Ron exclaimed excitedly. "Look over there," he insisted, pointing a finger in the direction of the Great Hall's entrance.  
Harry saw there were other people staring where he was, but he cared little.  
She was back.  
His dear Cho had, against all opposition, swam past the current and was there, in from of him, walking to the Ravenclaw table with an air of cautiousness. She looked better and healthier than he remembered, her face alight with a pale glow that had been amiss for months, her cheekbones not nearly as prominent, softening her features, and her eyes had even gained back some of the depth that had entranced him when he was in his third year.  
Harry couldn't stand sitting any longer. He dashed out of his seat and welcomed Cho with a hug that left even him faint. Her body felt fuller, pulsing with new life.  
"Hey, darling," she muttered softly, kissing his cheek.  
"How are you doing?" he asked, refusing to let go of Cho regardless of the gaping faces surrounding him.  
"Much better, now that I've seen you."  
"And are you going to eat now?" he teased, ignoring her reddening face.  
"If you let go of me, yes."  
Releasing her at last, Cho flashed one last smile at Harry as he stumbled back to his seat, looking very pleased.  
"You look like you'd be happy if we had Double Potions," Ron muttered.  
* * * Hogwarts seemed more inviting than ever before as Cho and Celeste walked to their classes. Her teachers all looked relieved to see her back, even the usually impassive Snape, but perhaps that was a figment of her imagination. Cho, however, couldn't look at Professor McGonagall, knowing that if only she had taken her advice.she could have kept all of that from happening.  
The endless studying during her hospitalization had paid off. She wasn't behind in any of her classes, and after her homework assignments were accounted for, her grade would be right where she wanted it to be. Of course, Cho would like it if it was just a little bit higher.  
She smiled at herself. I'm always going to be a perfectionist, she thought. But I'll never let it get out of control again.  
"You wanna go the library during break again to study for those damn finals?" Celeste asked after lunch.  
"No, I think I'll just stay outside. It's really nice out today. The sun and all."  
"You're acting weird."  
"Well, people often act weird after a life-changing event, don't they?"  
"Yeah, um, why not?" Celeste giggled. Her giddy demeanor, however, suddenly changed into a sullen and annoyed expression. "Oh, damn. Look who it is? It's the emperor and his followers, coming to pay you a visit, Cho."  
"Othello, what the hell are you doing here?" Cho snapped, knowing she was conversing with the one person that could make her day worse.  
"Why, to pay my respects," he said in that oily tone that had always vexed Cho.  
"Then get the hell out of my way," she snarled.  
"Whoa, temper, my dear! Unless you want to go back to the hospital for anger management."  
"Ugh, you're impossible!" she yelled, running away from the hooting crowd. As soon as she had put at least a floor between herself and Othello, she leaned against the wall, panting and absolutely drained of her energy. "I thought," she managed to say, "that after eating something I'd finally be able to at least run without having to hyperventilate."  
"It'll take a while for your body to get used to it," Celeste said, having caught up.  
"Oh, I knew something like this was going to happen," she accused her friend, the self-confidence she had this morning all but extinguished. "I knew it. I should've just cut class or something!"  
"I know, Cho, so don't start acting up again. Just ignore them, okay?"  
"But - but I can't," she said, starting to cry again. "It's so hard, harder than it looks.they just don't get it."  
They don't understand that anorexia is no laughing matter, that it can do more harm than nearly any inventible curse. They don't understand that I've got feelings as well, that I'm ashamed of what happened.  
"I know they don't get it. They don't get anything, do they? Just think to yourself whenever a bunch of weird looks come your way: Oh, look, here's another bunch of those idiots, wallowing in their ignorance. That works for me, anyway."  
"It might work for you, but it doesn't for me. I'm not like that. I just can't pretend like it's not affecting me in any way. What am I supposed to do then?"  
"What do you think?"  
Cho had hoped it wouldn't have to come to this.  
"I - I'll have to tell them, won't I?"  
"Yeah, but I don't know how you're going to tell the whole school."  
"Maybe I don't," Cho surmised, sitting down and stopping the flow of tears. "I think that, well, this might not work, but."  
"Oh, tell me!"  
"Othello's really popular, and he knows a lot of people and he's always traveling around with his little group. If I tell him, there's bound to be a lot of people around.then they'll tell their friends.d'you get what I mean?"  
"You're going to take advantage of the fact that word at Hogwarts spreads faster than if a Firebolt carried it?"  
"Exactly!"  
"Brilliant.just one thing."  
"What's that?"  
"I've never seen you wanting to talk to Othello before. This is scaring me."  
"Oh, shut up!" Cho said, bubbling over with laughter.  
She got her chance much earlier than she had expected. By dinner, she was ravenously hungry and exhausted after putting up with a day of hearing gossip all over the place. Consuming her food at a pace that even alarmed Celeste ("I swear, you're going to throw it all up tonight!"), it was no wonder she attracted so many stares. Including one that she needed, the one that would help her out of her dilemma.  
"Making up for all the food you missed out on?" Othello asked, strolling lazily over to Cho and grabbing a roll from her plate.  
"Yes, now give it back," she said coolly, waiting for the most opportune moment.  
"What?" He held up the roll. "This? I thought you might want some help eating all of this. It's quite an amount, even for someone who hasn't properly eaten all year."  
"Month, Othello. Not the entire year."  
"Don't bother me with such things. So, tell me, what have you been doing all year? First forsaking dear Cedric, then snogging with Harry, putting on quite a show at the ball.what else have I missed out on?"  
It was just too good to pass up. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Celeste nodding ever so slightly.  
"What else have you missed out on?" Cho yelled, standing up and stamping her foot. "More than your little mind can ever understand! You want to know where I really was during the time after the ball? Yeah, don't even try to deny it! You know you're just dying to ask me. I was sick, okay? I spent most of my days lying on the hospital bed. If I wasn't doing schoolwork, I was staring at the ceiling, wondering if I'd ever pull through. I even considered killing myself. Better end the pain and live through it, right?" The silence she coming from Othello gave her enough strength to continue. "But I didn't. I didn't just jump out the window, even though I had plenty of chances. After all, the hospital has got a lot of them. And you know what I was ill with? I had - maybe even still have, it might come back later - anorexia, this disease that just completely flips your life upside down. I don't have to go into the details, just know it completely messes up any common sense you have. Some people don't have much of it, anyway."  
  
From behind her, she could hear Celeste trying to stifle a laugh. Cho was determined to finish. "It takes more willpower to overcome anorexia than to even put up with the likes of you. I've handled more than you ever will, so I suggest that from this point forward, you keep your big mouth shut because you know nothing, absolutely nothing. "You haven't got an ounce of knowledge, and worse still, respect. You can't get it through your head that I actually exist and that I can be hurt by what people say. And if I ever hear you say anymore nasty things about me or to one of your little friends, anymore completely fabricated tales about my going crazy in St. Mungo's, I swear you will get what you deserve." Cho was entirely aware of the fact every head in the Great Hall - including those of the teachers - were fixed in her direction, her livid face staring down Othello's pale and meek complexion. A sudden feeling of recklessness was kicking inside of her. She could feel her head spinning a bit. Let them talk, she thought. That's the best I can give them: the truth. I can say no more than that. I hope everyone in this school knows now. I hope they stop making up false crap about people and about me, but even more, I hope they're all warned. I hope they all know what anorexia can do to you, and if they don't? If they don't heed my advice? Hell, I gave them the opportunity. It's not my fault if they don't listen. "Now, Othello," she said quietly after the usual babble had refilled the Great Hall, though much more subdued than normal, "can I have my roll back?" 


	12. Departure and Epilogue

Chapter Twelve: Departure  
  
The scene she had caused in the Great Hall had given Cho a wide berth, along with anxious and almost frightened looks from many students. She, however, was more than comfortable with this. Though the school may shun her, she knew she had done the right thing. How others were to react was not up to her. This didn't discourage Harry from coming up to her one day, near the end of May.  
"Hey, Cho! Celeste?" he yelled from the back of the crowd.  
"Hmm? What?" Cho said, looking around for where the voice was coming from, only stopping after Celeste had given her a sharp jab in the stomach (still slightly curved in, but growing fuller as each meal passed) and hissed, "Harry! In the back!"  
They retreated into a nearby niche and waited for him to catch up.  
"I thought you'd never hear me," he sighed. "Cho, there's a Hogsmeade visit - the last one of the year - "  
" - and you wanted to know if I would go with you?" she finished to the amazement of Harry. "Dear, you really are quite predictable!"  
"Um, yeah, that's what I was going to say, so you're coming?"  
"Of course."  
"And Celeste? There's something I need to discuss with you.about Ron."  
"Ah, still being a stubborn asshole?" she said wisely. "I'd do almost anything for him and Hermione to be together.but Harry, if you're going to ask me to snog Hermione in Filch's broom closet - well, that's just going too far."  
"No, that wasn't what I was going to say. See, he's almost cracking.just a little something more and he'll have his lips all over Hermione. So I was wondering if you had anymore brilliant ideas.you do, don't you?"  
"What makes you think that?"  
"Well," Harry started uncomfortably, "it's just that you always do."  
Cho nodded furiously from next to him. Celeste smiled slightly.  
"Thought it will be shocking to learn, even geniuses have their limits - yes, even me. I think we've done enough tampering with their relationship, and the only piece of advice I've got is just to let things flow."  
"What?" Cho blurted out, completely astounded. "You've spent so much time just trying to get Hermione realize her true feelings and for her and Ron to finally get together.and you're just going to let it all fall apart?"  
"No, it's not exactly like that. You see, Ron still loves her; that's really obvious, but he's being - I mean, been - all stubborn about it. There's a golden opportunity for him, this last Hogsmeade visit. If he comes to his senses, he'll ask her out, simple as that. But, if he decides to keep on being a bastard, then he'll miss the one chance to regain Hermione's heart. And while Hermione may not be the prettiest girl in the school - not saying she isn't, Harry, just not the prettiest - she'll definitely hook up with someone soon.if Ron doesn't act. It's all going to be his fault, really. We all gave him enough chances, so did Hermione. If he lets it all go to waste, hey, not my problem."  
"But you're supposed to care about people," Cho pressed.  
"Yeah? I've cared enough for Ron. If he doesn't do anything with what he's got, well, I don't know what he's going to do then."  
"Okay, then," Harry said gloomily. "Better go and do some last minute studying. O.W.L.s."  
"Ooh, have fun, then," Cho said sarcastically. "Well, good luck with them. Thank goodness we don't have them again this year. Just finals."  
"I'd rather have those than O.W.L.s."  
"Actually, given the chance, I wouldn't take any of them," Celeste remarked casually, gathering up her belongings. "Come on, Cho, I think we have a little studying to do ourselves."  
She said a sorrowful goodbye to Harry, knowing very well she would much rather spend her time with Harry in the Room of Requirement than looking up potion ingredients in the library.  
  
* * * A couple minutes ago, Harry would have found it impossible to be frustrated with Celeste. The girl did have a tendency to expel any gloom hanging around and finding solutions to almost everything - and now her advice was to just let things flow?  
What kind of advice was that?  
* * * Staring glumly across the room at Hermione after the Gryffindors had returned from dinner, Ron wondered if his life would ever improve. He wanted her more than ever.yet something held him back. He wanted her to know what it was like to feel rejected. Then why did he feel rejected? Ron was supposed to be taking pleasure from seeing her alone and friendless, just as he had been this year, but he wasn't. He only felt worse with each passing day, and with the Hogsmeade visit coming up.  
No, just don't of her. You'll get over her one day.  
He watched Seamus Finnigan shyly walk up to her. Oh, please, not again.  
"Um, Hermione, if you're - you know - free this next weekend and I, I was wondering if you'd like to, you know, go with me or something, as long as you're not busy," he stuttered.  
"Well, I'm sure I can set aside my studying just for a day," she said, stealing a furtive glance at Ron, who was steadily growing angrier and angrier.  
She shouldn't be going on a date with someone like Seamus. She should be going with.  
Damn you, Ron!  
He marched up to Hermione, grabbing her by the wrists and pulling her up, taking her - and even him - by surprise.  
"No, Hermione, I'd rather you stay and study," he snarled, "than date someone like that."  
"What in the blazes are you talking about, Weasley?" Seamus yelled, pulling out his wand.  
"I - " No, this wasn't right! Hermione was supposed to be overjoyed he was back, returned to his senses, and there wasn't supposed to be another guy involved! Oh, never that, not that! But he couldn't think of any way to curb his lashing temper.maybe he should just get rid of his temper all together. Ron thought of Celeste, her always happy face.she wouldn't want him to be this coercive with anyone. He cleared his throat and tried to fix his face into more placid lines. "Hermione, can we, um, go over there.to the side?" Why do I always have to look like a beet during times like these? "Look, I really didn't mean to do that, it's just - "  
The scene swam oddly in front of his eyes.Seamus swearing a little further off.Hermione looking positively terrified.it all filled him with shame. No, there was no way around it.  
"Yes, Ron? Then what did you mean to do?"  
"I just.oh, God!" He swept her into an all-encompassing hug, unable to constrain himself anymore. "I was just so pissed off after what you did, and I wanted to - how am I supposed to say it?"  
"You wanted me to have my comeuppance, did you?" she murmured, not resisting his embrace.  
"Yeah, yeah.and, God, I've been so selfish. I didn't realize I wasn't just hurting myself.but you too.oh, God, I'm such an idiot."  
"Shh, everything'll be alright. I've been selfish too this year."  
"I'm so sorry, 'Mione," he whispered, kissing her on the cheek.  
"Here, let's go to the Room of Requirement. I'll tell you everything there."  
Hand in hand, Ron and Hermione left the Gryffindor Tower and passed an utterly stunned Harry Potter along the way.  
* * * Cho couldn't deny the appeal of Hogsmeade and set herself to indulge in mounds of Honeydukes chocolate and bottles of butterbeer ("I need to compensate!"). She saw Ron and Hermione together (Celeste has prevailed, she thought, proud of having such a friend), and while she did not say a word to Harry about it, she was sure he noticed. The sun pierced through the boundless sky, lightening the town, and Cho felt that she wouldn't be out of place strolling down a bustling street in a large European city - Rome or Paris, perhaps. With Celeste talking avidly next to her (Harry had offered Celeste to come along to spare her spending another picturesque weekend cooped up in the castle), it was as life itself was being reintroduced to her.  
Something was amiss though, even as she kissed Harry passionately in a deserted alley. As much as he would look fondly into her eyes, there was a still a lingering gloom from the past, and Cho was loath to think about such a thing, especially on a day like this. This was supposed to be her equivalent of utopia (no, it was utopia), one last date with Harry.she wanted it to be just like it was before it all started, but she knew - despite her hoping against it - nothing would ever be same.  
* * * The end of the year approached much too quickly for Cho's liking, who wasn't too keen on seeing her parents again after what had happened. Much to her dismay, Madame Pomfrey had sent a letter home, telling them what had occured, and though she complained about this to Celeste, her friend assured her that if the nurse hadn't done it, someone would have eventually.  
"Things like this can't be covered up," Celeste had told her.  
Despite whatever consolation her friends gave her, she never wanted to leave Hogwarts less.  
So she supposed that's why she opted to skip the end of the year feast.  
"I've got some books I lost and I need to find them," she told a disappointed Celeste as the feast drew nearer. "Hey, can't leave Hogwarts without my books!"  
But she had already gathered most of her belongings and packed them. It wasn't that she didn't want eat anything; she only wanted to roam through Hogwarts on her own, to see it free of people, to be with her home.just once more.  
Peeking her head out of the door to check for any stragglers in the common room, Cho was relieved to see no one had remained behind. Good for a little reminiscing, she thought. She sneaked out of Ravenclaw Tower and set out towards the library. Just Hogwarts and me, she thought, contented with the thought that there would be no one between her and her home for hours.everyone would be too busy at the feast to notice her absence anyway.  
"Oh, shit! I'm sorry!"  
Cho had suddenly bumped into someone, being wrapped up in her thoughts. Though she still wasn't paying much attention to what was happening around her, one sight at the bushy hair told her she had crossed none other than Hermione's path.  
"Why aren't you at the feast?" Hermione asked after helping Cho back onto her feet.  
"I just - didn't feel like it." A skeptical look on Hermione's face told Cho she had raised her suspicions. "I had to look for some books I lost over the course of the year. There were some really good ones. It would be a shame to leave them behind."  
"Of course," Hermione said briskly, nevertheless, sounding none too sure. Neither could find anything to say, yet neither could find the will to move, thus finding themselves rooted in the middle of a hallway while the clinking of silverware and chatter could be heard in the distant background. Cho could feel her body tense up and could see Hermione's do that as well. Great, she thought, I get to spend my full day at Hogwarts wondering who's going to move first. Sighing, she turned around and walked back to the Ravenclaw Tower. So much for walking around the school alone. "Wait!" Hermione blurted out, running towards Cho. "Look, I know this may sound a little forward.but you know what happened during the Easter Ball?"  
"Yeah?"  
Cho always got a little defensive when such a topic was being discussed.especially at the hands of people like her.  
"Well," Hermione said, feeling very awkward, "you said that one day, during lunch, that you had anorexia."  
"Your point is?"  
"Like I said, sorry for being so forthright - but you don't just suddenly decide to starve yourself, right? Could you tell me, you know, what happened and all?"  
"Why?"  
"Just.curious, like the rest of the school."  
"Still talking about me, are they?"  
"Oh, no! Not at all, but it's kind of obvious they want to know right?"  
"So you want me to tell you?"  
"If you wouldn't mind," Hermione said. "But if you don't want to, it's perfectly fine by me!" she quickly added, though it was only too evident not knowing would be a great disappointment for her indeed.  
Cho, who had always felt powerless, was completely aware she held quite a bit of power in her hands, now that she knew the entire school hungered for her story, it certainly put them at her mercy. A complete reversal of power, she thought. And here was Hermione, someone Cho had begrudgingly admired even if she was a year below, asking her if she could just tell her something.  
"I guess so," Cho said slowly, "but only if we get out of the hallway first. I don't fancy having it overheard."  
"The Room of Requirement?"  
"That'd work."  
What the hell am I doing, Cho thought, telling Hermione this? She has no business in what happened to me.but then she remembered seeing Hermione surrounded by people and laughing gaily. She did have a part to play then, Cho realized. Well, I certainly can't tell her that.  
After making themselves comfortable in the Room of Requirement, Cho repeated the same thing she had told Celeste and Harry - but tactfully leaving out Hermione's role in the incident. It rendered her speechless.  
"Did that really happen?" she asked at the end of it, bordering on uncertainty and shock.  
"Well, if it didn't, it's a really thought-out lie, don't you think?" Cho snapped, liking Hermione less and less.  
If she's brought me here just to ridicule me, then I would have been better off at the feast after all.  
"No, I didn't mean it like that! I just didn't know it was possible for someone to go through all of that and still, you know, be alive.."  
"Then what do you think Harry's been doing all these years?"  
"Oh, please, can't we just have a friendly conversation?"  
"So now I'm the one being unfriendly?" Cho said, amazed. "I told you what you wanted to know, and you treat it like crap."  
"No, don't misunderstand!" Hermione moaned. "There's something.something I wanted to talk to you about because I think you've gone through what I did this year."  
Cho's heart jumped. Oh, God, does this have to do with how she's been acting?  
"What?"  
"Well, see, first I have to apologize for asking you about what happened to you. It was really none of my business in the first place. I went down the feast, hoping that I might be able to talk to you, even though you've been glaring at me all year."  
"Was I?" Cho asked, trying to feign an "I-don't-care" attitude.  
"It seemed that way, but it's not your fault if you were! I know - I mean - I think a lot of people her."  
This was the most flustered Cho had ever seen Hermione. She always seemed so composed. Her breathing was irregular and her eyes darted in many directions, as if searching for something she knew she couldn't find.  
"Why?"  
"I'm about to tell you. So, anyway, I tried to find you there, but you weren't sitting next to Celeste or anywhere on the Ravenclaw table. And if you weren't there, then you wouldn't be there at all - I've never seen you sit anywhere except next to her - so I thought you might have skipped it. I left the feast and went looking for you. There's something I need to tell you.about how I've been acting this year.  
"I'm trying not to sound arrogant, but you have noticed that I was rather popular this year?"  
"Who could've missed it?"  
Hermione, thankfully, missed the sarcasm.  
"Well, I've never been universally well-liked anywhere, not here at Hogwarts or when I still went to my old Muggle school, though obviously Hogwarts is much better than what I had to put up with before. You have no idea how many names I used to get called, all because I wouldn't play football with the other kids during our breaks. I just ignored it - I've been ignoring it here too - but something happened this year that gave me this huge window of opportunity. I don't know how I didn't see it before.  
"Fifth year is O.W.L. year, and almost right after I got off the train, people I never even knew started asking me if I could help them with their Potions or Charms or what have you. And this makes me sound so manipulative, I know, but I thought that I could use this attention to my advantage, so I used my intelligence to put myself on top of society here at Hogwarts. Some seventh years even asked me to help them with their N.E.W.T. preparation papers.  
"For the first time, people actually liked my oddness - my, um, fondness for books and studying. It sort of went to my head. I wanted to be liked by everyone.I guess, I fell for that insecurity all girls - maybe guys, even - have every now and then. I wanted to be popular. "I knew that, however, if I really wanted to be popular, I'd have to be in the favor of someone who was already popular and had a huge social base. So who else to seek out other than Draco Malfoy?" "Were you really that desperate?" Cho asked, ignoring the fact she was interrupting Hermione. "In retrospect, I think I was very very stupid this year.but I guess at that time, it was, or seemed like, a smart thing to do. He and I came up with a little deal. I told him what I was trying to do, become popular, and he would go out with me - therefore expanding my social base as well - and I would help him with his homework and studying for the O.W.L.s. His grades aren't too great, if you want to know. I took a while to convince him to do this. You know how he hates Muggle-borns: more than I hate Professor Snape. "But he agreed, eventually, and at first, people kept on coming up to me and telling me, 'Oh my God! You're dating a Malfoy?' He pretended to be infatuated with me, of course, and he acted so well there were times where I actually thought he fancied me. Guess he really needed some help with his schoolwork. And he's a great kisser, as if it matters. "I was willing to put up with this for quite a while. But then I realized that I was hurting other people, people who had once cared for me, especially Ron. I didn't realize that by making such a gamble, I was risking the friendships I had that were already so strong. Oh, and I also fancied Ron, too. I suppose I never really noticed it until this year. "Malfoy began to notice that I was paying a lot more attention to Ron. I think he was really happy with all the help I was giving him because then he tried to get me to like him - for real. I resisted, but when I thought of how liked I would be, I just gave in to him, and when it wasn't so easy for him to convince me to stick to the plan, he'd threaten to tell everyone what I had been up to. I figured out I was being a moron, but I just couldn't let people know that, so even after having huge rows with Malfoy, I'd end up snogging him. I'd decided it was worth doing this, as long as people didn't know I was being a scheming little bitch. I know it probably doesn't sound like much to you when people find out you've made some sort of mistake, but I have a tendency to blow everything out of perspective. To me, whenever someone thinks I'm stupid or I've done something stupid, that's the absolute worst thing that could ever happen. I tried to do everything in my power to prevent something like that from happening. "This just sort of continued for a long time, the fights and threats and all, until Celeste's plan with Ron got me to realize I was being a total idiot, trying to be popular, and that I shouldn't care what other people thought because it was costing me so much. Now I know that popularity is entirely superficial. It looks pretty and all, but once you get there, you'll regret it later." "And what does this have to do with me?" Cho asked, now feeling incredibly sorry for this girl who, too, had fell prey to the monster of popularity. How could I ever have hated her, she thought, chastising herself. I've been totally blind; I should've seen it right away. "Well, during the Easter Ball," Hermione said, thinking hard, "I told Celeste what happened. You're so lucky, Cho, to have a friend like that. Anyway, she mentioned that, well, that you sort of went though the same thing, in a way, trying to be popular and the like." "She spoke the truth," Cho said softly. "My God, I never knew we had so much in common, once you considered what happened to you and me this year!" Hermione exclaimed brightly, standing up. "Hey, it's nothing to get that excitable over!" Cho said, who couldn't help but smile. "I've said a lot of bad things about you this year. I'm really really sorry for it all." "Well, so have I," Cho replied, feeling her insides wince. "Shall we make amends?" "Why not?" They shook hands, and Cho knew that she and Hermione had just forged a friendship for the ages.  
* * * "Hermione, why weren't you at the feast?" Ron asked later that night.  
"I was talking to Cho," she said matter-of-factly.  
"I thought you didn't like her," he said, knowing that something had happened he was completely unaware of.  
"At first, I suppose I didn't," she said, not bothering to suppress a grin, "but it's amazing how much you can have in common with an enemy, isn't it?"  
"Guess you're right!" Ron cried, his ears turning slightly red.  
* * * "Homeward bound, that's what we are," Celeste grieved. "Another summer before I can refresh my supply of guys."  
"Another summer before I'm home," Cho weeped, continuing the tradition of crying as the Hogwarts Express departed the from the train station in Hogsmeade.  
"Hey, this summer can't be that bad. You've got a boyfriend who hasn't died or even put in mortal peril, which is certainly something since your boyfriend's Harry. You're friends with an immensely useful person when it comes to exams. You've got, not being self-centered or anything, the best friend you could ever have, right? Okay, so I'm joking about that last one, but, best of all, no more whispers about you lurking in the hallway!"  
"Yeah, but just wait until my parents see me," she hissed.  
"Don't complain," Celeste whined. "As if you need reminding, my Muggle cousin's coming over for the entire bloody summer. She's always asking me everything about the wizarding world." She put on a high voice. " 'Celeste, how does a wand work? Celeste, how can you make things fly? Celeste, how can understand all this stuff? Celeste, what are lacewings? Celeste, can you make my voice louder so I can annoy the shit out of you?' So, there, you get the general idea."  
"I could come over for the summer, if my parents let me. That way I'd be able to leave them and you'd have someone to talk to!"  
"Mum would never let me," Celeste said gloomily. "She says I need to learn how Muggles live, especially since I decided not to take Muggle Studies, which she was all obsessed over. Well, if Muggles live by belting out all their words, I don't think I could stand a life like that."  
A chuckle escaped Cho's constricted throat. There's typical Celeste for you, she thought. She looked outside the window at Hogwarts, watching it grow smaller and smaller until it was a mere gray speck in the background. It had been ten months since she had talked to Harry on the train, finding out what had supposedly happened to Cedric.a year since she stepped on this train, an emotional wreck, thinking of Cedric.but he hardly occupied her thoughts now. She said the occasional prayer, of course, but many other things had pushed him out of center stage.  
* * * Harry.  
The name came out of the anarchy and chaos in her mind as she sat on the moving train.  
Harry.  
How she missed him already (though he was only a few compartment down), that vibrancy of his green eyes, his cheery manner, how he filled her with passion when they were alone, kissing, his lips running over hers, how it had the magic of transporting her to a world free of loneliness and sorrow.  
Harry.  
And how she dreaded doing what she knew was necessary.  
Necessary for not only her but for him.  
* * * Cho never quite remembered how, but through the masses of students on Platform 9 ¾ saying their farewells she had sought out and found Harry. She was blinded by the tears and heard Celeste calling for her, but she needed to find Harry. She refused to leave without doing that.  
"Oy! Harry!" she yelled at a tall, black-haired boy reaching for his trunk.  
"Cho, what d'you need?" he yelled back, trying to make himself heard.  
She fought her way through the crowd, not even pausing to say, "Excuse me," or "Coming through."  
"Harry, we need to talk. Could you come over here for a second? I promise it won't take long."  
She led him to a somewhat secluded corner of the platform and faced him defiantly.  
"What is it?" he said gently, stroking her tear-stained face.  
"I've decided that - for the both of us - it wouldn't work for me to remain your girlfriend."  
"Cho, you're joking!"  
"I would never, not about something like this."  
"Darling, I still love you."  
"But that's beside the point. See, when we were at Hogsmeade, it felt like there was something separating us. I think you felt it too. I believe it has to do with my, um, experiences this year - " (Cho couldn't bring herself to say "anorexia") " - and I know that if we continued dating each other, that feeling would never go away, and I can't blame you. I don't think you could ever look at me the same again without thinking, 'Oh, this is the girl who nearly killed herself for me.' And even if you say you love me and would do anything for me - and I do believe you when you say that you care for me - it'll just never be the same. Because I know that I can never look at you in the same light anymore."  
"So you're breaking up with me?"  
His voice sounded hollow. She knew this would be hard.but Cho needed to tell him.  
"It's for us. It just wouldn't last, our relationship, after all it's gone through. It's scarred, really. I'm sorry." She didn't want to believe in what she was saying, not one word, as Harry took her sobbing form in his arms one last time, but she knew it was right, that in the end, it would be beneficial to forsake a true but now twisted and blemished love. She could still love him from a distance, couldn't she? "Please," she begged, "don't be angry. It's for us, it'll all turn out all right - "  
"It's okay," he said. "I'll still love you anyway."  
* * * He didn't want to let her go, Cho, his only love, the star in his night, his lighthouse pointing out the way, who had taught him so much in the past year. But he had to. She was right. They couldn't go on like this, not when he almost could see the ghost of a deathly pale and thin Cho hiding right behind the real one.  
"Well, goodbye," he murmured, not wanting to say such horrid words, words that would sever their relationship and leave it in loosened strands.  
"Yeah. I think Celeste's calling for me." she said, her voice trailing off. "Write to me over the summer, okay? We can still be friends."  
"Sure, that'd be great," he said unenthusiastically.  
He looked back into the eyes of the young woman he had been enamored with for what felt like forever.Harry remembered when he played against Cho in Quidditch during his third year, when he had noticed she was very pretty indeed.  
Now that pretty girl was lying in his arms, shedding tear after tear.  
"Cho, I can see Celeste over there," he said, laying his head on top of hers, savoring its silky feeling. "You'd better start leaving."  
"Yes, but not before - "  
Harry knew what she wanted and what he wanted. He brought his lips to hers, felt their fullness and tenderness, felt their craving for his mouth, felt their ardor and was matched only by his own.  
She parted, shaking and trembling, breath coming in heaving sobs.  
"'Bye then," he said, knowing an era had passed and planted a brotherly-like kiss on her forehead.  
He watched her swinging hair disappear into the crowd, a black veil of mourning vanishing into the rising sun.  
  
Epilogue  
  
"Come down for breakfast, dear?"  
"Yes, mum," Cho moaned.  
If she had been given a choice, however, she would have stayed in bed. Her parents were much nicer to her this summer (Was it that letter Madame Pomfrey sent? Hmm, must be.), and while she had no objection to eating eggs in front of her mum, what she really wanted was to sleep soundly without having to be disturbed. Hogwarts had really taken a lot of her this past year.  
Mrs. Chang was reading The Daily Prophet, as always. Load of dung, Cho thought exasperatedly, looking at the top headline ("Eyewitness Account of Potter's Madness").  
But something caught her eye. Though she never seriously read the newspaper anymore, Cho had seen the front page enough to know it by heart, yet here was something she was sure wasn't there the last time she laid her eyes on it. On the left column, where it listed what pages the weather, national/international news, etc. were on, Cho read:  
  
Teen Voices (Page 16)  
  
Share your life-changing story today!  
  
"Mum, could I take a look at the newspaper?" she asked.  
"Why not?" Mrs. Chang replied, folding the paper and handing it to Cho.  
Unexpectedly, the usual rubbish was printed: "How to Flirt Successfully," "True Love Lost," the like. What do they know about love, Cho thought. As much as she disapproved of the paper, it might be exactly what she was waiting for.  
After helping her mum clear the dishes, Cho set the paper in front of her after getting herself seated at the desk. Reaching for her quill, ink, and a roll of parchment, she thought about what she was about to write. The moment of pensiveness soon passed, though, as she placed the tip of her quill on the parchment.  
  
Anorexia: It's Nothing To Be Proud Of 


End file.
